I have thought of many things our husbands must trust us with. I think the most important area is that he will trust us to love the Lord more than him. Mark does not need to constantly remind me to read my Bible and pray. He trusts that I am growing in the Lord everyday. He does not want to be put on a pedestal and expected to be everything. He wants the Lord to be my everything.
Mark needs to trust me that I will take care of his needs. This is a tricky topic. Our culture has clouded the roles with husband and wives in the home. I researched the Bible to see what it actually says about this. I could not find anything definitive about women doing all the cleaning, cooking and housework, much to Mark's dismay. Therefore, this will be our situation, not a law. I generally do all the cooking and housework. I do not mind this arrangement. Therefore in our house, Mark trusts me to cook and take care of his laundry. In your marriage, your husband may trust you to cut the grass, if that is your arrangement. Just do not be a lazy wife that our mate cannot depend on.
Our husbands need to trust us that we will spend within our means. For us, this means that when I know we can't afford something, I do not need to beg for it. What I have noticed in our marriage is that if I really would like to spend money on an item, Mark would move heaven and earth to get it. This causes problems. I can sway Mark to buy something that we cannot afford and do not need. Mark needs to trust me that I will not make him feel guilty that we cannot buy something.
Next is the R-rated area. I believe that our husbands need to trust us that we will meet his sexual needs. The world bombards our husband's vision with scantly clad women, magazine covers. billboards, TV commercials, etc. Sex sells everything. I realize that you could argue that our husbands need to guard his eyes. That is another blog. But I know that we are trusted with a fragile role in meeting our husband's needs and the Bible is clear about this issue. I Cor 7:5, states that we do not hold back from giving to our spouse unless we are fasting or by mutual consent. This is a wise command from God because He knows what makes for a healthy marriage.
I am totally naive on what goes on in other marriages in the area of sex. Again, I am totally focusing today on wives, not husband's role. However, I was researching this topic and it was so sad to see all the confused wives who do not see a need for sex. This is another non-negotiable. I certainly realize that you could come up with a million reasons why this does not apply to your marriage. Your husband is selfish, your husband is lazy, your husband does not understand how tired you are, your husband does not help with the kids or the laundry, etc. I can imagine me standing in front of God in the future and explaining that I was not obedient because my husband did not cut the grass. It is not going to fly.
In the big picture, we are talking about how can we be obedient and build healthy marriages. This is a healthy marriage requirement. When we are obedient, we are allowing God to work in our husband's heart. It is not in reverse. We do not wait until he works in our husband's heart before we are obedient.
Because I am talking to single women as well as married, I must add that your husband will trust that you kept yourself pure for him. If you have not done this, the good news is that there is abundant forgiveness for your past. Another blog topic.
One last, painful area. Our husbands trust that we will stay beautiful for him. Do I need to back that up with a Bible verse? Quit making up excuses why you do not wear make-up, do not exercise, do not watch what you eat. I am so far from perfect, but I am always on the next diet:) I know that I sound like a know-it-all on the subject of marriage. I must stress that my marriage is so far from perfect. However, without question, when I am obedient to anything stated in God's word, God just absolutely delights me. When I am more in love with God, I am more in love with Mark.
This picture says it all:) I am dancing with the one I love!!!
