Three years ago, I blogged about the incredible transformation of my son, Luke. God did such a work in my heart when my husband and I went through a period of 6 years of Luke's rebellion and subsequent depression. It was a turning point in my prayer life. Luke gave me permission to put one of his emails on my blog. Not only is it compelling in its message, but it validates the power of God to dramatically change a life. Here are Luke's words.
"Mom,
Alright so the purpose of the list is that we don't lower the
historical standard of adulthood simply because we have largely failed as
a nation of producing adults.
So with this list in mind, begin to think less about how old someone
is and more about maturity. I want to move away from the
term "immature adults" because that I believe is an oxymoron. Maturity is
the mark of adulthood, not age.
Also, I think all of these are necessary for the
continuing success of a society as well as that of a nation seeking righteousness and
following God's laws and when they fade so does that nation, but these are all
biblical standards anyways. The very foundation of a successful society is found
in biblical principles of living.
1. Hard work. As a teenager we loved sleep and aimless living. Hard
work is critical to becoming an adult. Our current over-emphasis of lawsuits,
the corporate theft, and the increasing frustration seen in the Wall Street
movement is a result of this point. The ridiculous misuse of the legal
system with lawsuits is derived from the "make a quick buck" thinking. The insider
trading happens because when you work hard it leads to a profit but it takes
longer and sometimes is not as much as we want. When hard work is not a
value in your life, you will throw off simple societal restraint in order to get
ahead by doing less. Also this "Occupy Wall Street nonsense... quit complaining
without a vision and get a job.
2. Be Reliable. This includes being on time and doing what you say
you will do. Right now my generation is in the middle of a crisis and everyone
is so afraid of commitment that it will continue to get worse. To expect someone
to do what they say they will do is more than reasonable. It is the only way
things actually get done. To expect someone to be on time and do what they are
supposed is critical for a business, school, government, etc. to actually make
progress. Not paying bills on time (I understand people lose their jobs and such
things happen) but the outstanding debt of our nation and so many bankruptcy's
are a mark of immaturity. This is a non-negotiable part of being an
adult.
3. Be Reasonable. Be a little patient with people. Think outside of
self preservation for 30 minutes a week(I understand this will take some time
for most of us). Don't be angry all the time because it rubs off on people. It's
amazing the insanity of angry people because they openly admit to having
a bad temper, but refuse to actually self-examine why they are mostly mad. They continue to do the same thing and expect a different result.
4. Correction. To be an adult you must be able to receive correction
and be able to give it. Our nation has the most "thin-skinned chip on a shoulder
attitude" about getting corrected. It's becoming more and more common that
instead of receiving correction and improving, we get mad, avoid that person,
gossip about them, hold a grudge against them. This attitude shows no prejudice
with regard to that person being your boss, your spouse, your parent, etc. This
is increasingly alarming. Fights have begun breaking
out after basketball games. I think I have read of three or four different ones
around the nation in the past two weeks. It is because you have a society that
largely doesn't have any respect for anything anymore and this includes our
legal system and common compassion. Adults are supposed to be able to give
correction. Try and imagine how Ben and I would turn out if we never received
correction growing up. That's exactly what is happening right now, with kids
left to decide what morality is to them with no actual moral
guide.
5. Mentor. Take an active role in the generation below yours. If we just did
this one, these other four would never have had to be on the list. However, this was neglected. These first four points have largely been thrown off. Whether
you invest into your own kids, or other kids that are in your sphere of influence, helping to instill
mature values is critical in young ages for forming healthy competent
adults.
That's my list. I think these are the markers of what an adult looks
like. Notice a couple of things. They do not have anything to do with education, monetary success, social standing, etc. I think these apply for every single class
of society. Love you so much mom, and I am so thankful for the values that you
and dad taught,but more so you modeled them day after day for decades and set a
standard of consistency that I hope to follow. Let me know your
thoughts. "
