Monday, January 16, 2012

Meditations on Marriage

I promised to write about marriage and to tell the truth, I almost chickened out.  After all, it is like opening myself to criticism and anger from people that disagree.  However, from the beginning I will set up the parameters of this advice.  This will not be about divorce. It will be about marriage.  There is a big difference.  I am sure there are plenty of blogs and books about divorce.  This will not be one of those. 

Secondly, I am determined to only quote the ultimate truth, God's word,  not my opinion. That being said, I will jump right in.

As I said, last night I thought to myself "why did I set myself up to write about marriage?"  No other relationship causes so much grief and yet promises so much joy. Correct that...having kids is much the same.  You just cannot divorce your kids:)  Due to my determination to speak truth, I prayed earnestly that God would give me the words to say.  It was no surprise this morning, that the very scripture passage I read dealt with marriage. I am not kidding.  I smiled and thought "God, this is so you."

In Matthew 18: 2-12, it tells the story of the Pharisees asking Jesus if divorce was okay.  He stated the much quoted line that we hear so often at marriage ceremonies, "What God has put together, let no one separate." The disciples remarked that if this is the situation, then it is better not to marry. Jesus then replied with an often overlooked statement. "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to who it has been given." In the Message version, it says "Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life.  It requires a certain aptitude and grace.  Marriage is not for everyone."

Okay, put your guns away.  I am only quoting what the Bible says.  I believe that this is the first, and most important, advice I would give about marriage.  Enter into marriage with the idea that NO MATTER WHAT you will hang in there. Now here is where you can go back to the beginning of this blog and listen to this blog as it speaks about marriage and not divorce.  Get past what you have done in the past and focus on what the future will be like. 

I wonder if Jesus said that because he knew that marriage would be about sanctification, not about affirming how wonderful you are because someone chose you to spend their life together.  God does not waste anything.  There are no relationships, jobs, suffering or even obstacles that he does not use to sanctify you.  Go into marriage with this in mind.  God will use the marriage relationship to humble you and show you how selfish you are.  He will use marriage to show you how we are all wretched sinners in need of a Savior.  Our first thought will be that our spouse is a wretched sinner and that we were mislead into thinking they were perfect.  If we are wise, we will quickly come to the conclusion that we are ALL wretched sinners and that our spouse is discovering that we were not perfect either.  Accept that this discovery as the beginning of our great adventure with marriage.  Don't be shocked.  We were warned in Matthew 18: 11. 

I am asking this humbly.  Please refer this blog to someone who is contemplating marriage.  I am asking that God will change the divorce rate, maybe by slowing down the marriage rate.  I am the biggest fan in the universe on marriage!  However, let's go into marriage with a correct perspective.  It is not about building you up, making you feel good about yourself.  God has much different and bigger plans than that. 

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