Settling...A Dangerous Mistake

The Bible has a resounding theme throughout its pages. God has a promise land for us and we need to trust Him to reach it. Sad to say, very few of us want to trust him that much. From the beginning pages of Genesis to the last word of Revelation, we see countless examples of individuals who either took God at his word or decided the cost was too high. I have been thinking a lot about the ones of us who "settle" and thereby forfeit many of the promises that God has for us.
A story that comes to mind is in Numbers, chapter 13. Moses charged 12 men, one from each of the tribes of Israel, to scope out the land PROMISED to them. There was never a question about the chosen ones taking ownership. It was just a matter of waiting on God to reveal the hows and whens and wheres. When they returned, you remember the response from 10 of the men. "We can't attack those people! They are stronger than we are!" Only Joshua and Caleb trusted God to follow through with his promise to give them the land. You know the rest of the sad story...they wander 40 years until all the doubters and naysayers died off. They chose to forfeit their promise land. They decided that God could not be trusted and they were looking for an easier way.
Back up a few books and take a peek at Abraham. In Genesis, chapter 16, Abraham and Sarai decided to settle for an heir through Sarai's maidservant, Hagar. However, when Ishmael was born, God assured Abraham that this was not the way he intended. Later he reaffirmed the promise to give Abraham and Sarai their own son. "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. Abraham took him at his word this time and Isaac was born. God never intended on settling. Too much was at stake. From this man came the descendants "as numerous as the stars and as countless as the sand."
We read in God's word that "he knew us in our mother's womb" and that "he knows the plans he has for us, plans to prosper us and not harm us." Sounds like we all have a promised land. That is not the question. The question will always be whether we want to settle for less or wait on God to deliver the real thing.
The problem with me is always that I want to believe in "the seen, rather than the unseen." The impossible, miraculous, unseen things are meant for someone else. I purposely decide to settle on something a little more in line with what I can figure out on my own. Even in my prayers, I tend to pray small. I pray for things that seem "reasonable." The times I have stepped out on a limb and prayed for all out ridiculous...I was blown away with how God showed himself to be powerful, mighty, faithful to his promises.
There is this significant thing about promises. When God promises something, he delivers. He never intends on us to settle. I love the 11th chapter in Hebrews! In verse 13 it states that "all these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised." Wait a minute...did I just say that they did not receive a promised thing? No way. The verse goes on to say that they saw them from a distance. There will be a total fulfilling of promises that will only happen when I am with the Lord. This is eternal thinking, not temporary thinking.
What areas of your life are you simply "settling?" If living your life is not requiring any faith at all, then you are DEFINITELY SETTLING! A question to ask yourself(I will ask myself, as well)...are you uncomfortable? Is your life requiring loads of prayer to get through the day? Don't settle. Stay the course. Wait on the Lord. He will blow your socks off..in this life and the life to come.

When you haven't blogged in awhile, then every time you sit down to blog you begin to second guess yourself. You doubt if the blog you are about to write is worthy of anyone reading it. I decided to get past this thought and just write about stuff.
This morning I was working on my Beth Moore Bible study, Stepping Up. This is a study of fifteen books in the book of Psalms. My mind was wandering, as it often does when I have two minutes of free time. I was imagining what I would speak about if I were a famous Bible study teacher like Beth Moore. I decided that I would want all of the vast listeners(I said I was going to be a famous speaker!) to know all of my weakness right up front. I would need them to know of my imperfections, right off the bat.
We all tend to glamorize public speakers and think that they are super Christians. We imagine that they do not struggle as we do. We think that they do not have a weight problem or a jealousy problem or a gossip problem or whatever. The fact that Beth Moore asks us to lie face down and pray everyday that we are completing her Bible study makes me feel inferior to her as far as my prayer life. I do not lie face down ever when I pray and so I must not have the powerful prayer life that she does. I do not even have hours to study the Bible and pour over every principal that I would like to ponder over. I am busy every second of every day. I am way over committed and do not seem to have any margins in my life.
I say all this to make a point. God is so marvelous, oh so marvelous! He takes my weaknesses and weirdness and uses them to bring glory to His name. I really am going to name some of my many weaknesses.
1) I am so prideful and arrogant. I always think I am right...always.
2) I am jealous of all the people that seem to have free time.
3) I do not have compassion. Teaching 8th grade for so long seems to drive the compassion out. I want them to tell me the "short" version of their story about why they do not have their homework again.
4) I am judgemental. I would have been a Pharisee. I love rules!
5) I am black and white, no gray areas.
That being said, I wonder why I have any friends at all. If I do have a friend it is because of this marvelous God I am in love with. Listen to what He does.
When I grow closer to God and really abide with him daily, he reveals my horrible weaknesses. In John 16:15 Jesus said, "you justify yourself in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight." I DO NOT want to be detested by God!
He gives me a new perspective on "free time." He takes away the jealousy and reveals to me that my life is all about giving away my time, my money, my energy. Try to die broke, all used up, no regrets, etc. I won't be at my death bed thinking that I wished I had been blessed with more free time, more money to remodel, more expensive trips. Instead I would be wishing that I would have invested more in eternal things that involved giving my money away, giving my time away, and giving my heart away.
As far as the judgemental side of me, he changes my perspective and constantly reveals my wretchedness, my need for a Saviour. He shows me that I am comparing myself to others, instead of to His holy nature! That slaps me in the face and gets me kicked off the pedestal really quick.
One more thing I realize about myself. In John, chapter 1, Philip ran to find his brother, Nathaniel. He tells him that he has found the Messiah! Nathaniel answers him with this arrogant statement, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" Nathaniel answered the same way I would have. He thinks that Philip could not possibly be right. Thank goodness the story continues. Philip humbly answers,"Just come and see for yourself." Nathaniel comes face to face with the Saviour, the Messiah, the Son of God and gets knocked off his pedestal. God, keep knocking me down to my knees. I am going to miss so much of the goodness of life if I think I know it all.

Who Do You Cry To?

Hosea 7:14a "They do not cry out to me from their hearts but wail upon their beds."

Wow, I was reading from Hosea this morning and I stopped when I read this verse. Listen to what it says. I will paraphrase…
When I am crying out in pain or confusion or suffering…I sometimes do not even cry to the right source. God is accusing Israel of wailing upon their bed because of their captivity, but they do not cry out to him from their hearts.
What a revealing statement! You know what you turn to first and it is not always your heavenly Father.
The prophets call this what it is…idols! Israel turned to idols that they had made to solve their worries. Idols are what you worship. My first response to a problem that causes me to “wail” is often to turn to others or mind numbing entertainment or shopping or whatever. Those are my idols.
Think of the last time you were going through a bad time in your life. Maybe it involved finances, a broken relationship, health issues, you name it. To "wail upon our bed" could be a literal wailing or just experiencing a pain with no hope, no end in sight. God is asking us "How long will you wait until you cry out from your heart to me?" How long will it take for us to completely turn to the one who has the solution?
When we pray to God, do we think of him as human, like us? We need to realize, deep in our being, that we are asking help from someone who is NOTHING like us. Can't you just imagine that God is watching us with utter amazement, thinking "Why are you turning to some wooden idol to solve your problem, when you could be turning to me?"
Notice that he said to cry from our hearts and not our mind. Our minds may rationalize that just because we can't see a solution in sight, it must be hopeless. Learn to pray for the unseen, not the seen. Our minds can't grasp the unseen...a heart that trusts in a mighty God can see the future through his eyes. He will keep us in that perfect peace if our heart is stayed on him.

Third Alternative Thinking

I  am not sure who coined the phrase "third alternative thinking." I want to explain what it means, if case you have never heard of it before. It is a very powerful concept.
I am going to explain it using dieting terms because that is the way I am most familiar. If you don't like the size that you are, you have one choice. You can eat less calories and exercise more. You will either choose this alternative and be successful or you will not change a thing and not lose weight. Only two alternatives exist...change your habits and lose weight or don't change a thing and do not lose weight. Some people decide that there is a "third alternative." They can eat the same way and lose weight. This possibility DOES NOT EXIST. However, people pretend that it does.
I tell my students the same thing. If you want to improve your grades, you must make changes in your study habits. If you do not want to change, your grade will not change. Many of my students want to improve their grades, but they do not want to study more. That is third alternative thinking, which does not exist. The only two alternatives are to change your study habits(and your grade will improve) or do not change a thing(and your grade will not improve).
Do you find yourself using "third alternative thinking" sometimes? I do it all the time. I want to lose 10 pounds but I eat a slice of Friendship Bread. I say,"Oh,it won't matter." I want to save money but I buy some new clothes. I rationalize that I will just save next month. This is third alternative thinking. Unless I actively change a behaviour, nothing will change.
The dangerous thing is that we apply this principal to our spiritual life. We want to be closer to the LORD, but we do not want to make any changes. We want to become prayer warriors, but we don't really want to spend any more time in prayer. We want to know what God is like, but we don't want to get up early and spend time reading the Bible. We want to live abundant, changed, joy filled lives...but we do not want to trust God with all of our trials. We want to conquer areas of sin in our lives, but we do not want to wake up everyday and put on the "full armour" of God. What are we thinking? We have got to quit living in la-la land. We need to confront what we are doing. There is no third alternative.
So choose ...is it the easy way that cost us nothing and we gain nothing or the more difficult way that cost us something?
Jesus puts it plainly, "Deny yourself or don't claim to be following after me!" Choose life or choose death. Choose trust or choose fear. Choose to lose your life and gain the whole world or gain the whole world and lose your life. Quit making up third options that do not exist.
Keep this in mind...the painful, difficult, risky options are not chosen very much because the reward comes much later. I can't see it right away. It is not instant. When I choose eat a brownie, I get an instant reward. The painful consequence does not hit me until later when I check the scales to see if I lost a pound. If I decide not to eat the brownie, I get the painful consequence immediately. The reward will be much later.
Same with the Christian walk. If I choose to wake up early and spend time in God's word, I will suffer at that time by being very sleepy. But over time, I will get the beautiful reward of really knowing who God is. Payday is slower when you make the right choice. But the rewards are out of this world!

A Sweet Story

I hope everyone loves a sweet story. I want to tell you about my mother-in-law, Betty. She was widowed at about age 50. I had seen Mark's father a couple of times before he died of a sudden heart attack. We were dating at the time and not engaged yet. Most of my married life, Mark's mom was a widow.
Almost 11 years ago, she attended her 50th high school reunion. A high school friend, named O.W. Miller, was also attending. You may be interested in the fact that O.W. had asked Betty to her high school prom but she had already accepted a date. Both had gone their separate ways. O.W.had been a widower for many years following the death of his wife.
Well, O.W. drove three hours to see Betty following that reunion. At the time, she had a male salesman at her home. O.W. mistakenly thought the salesman was a current boyfriend. He turned around and drove home without stopping to see Betty.
Fast forward to the 51st high school reunion the following year. Betty made it clear that she was NOT dating anyone. She and O.W. began calling each other nightly and talking for hours. O.W. would take Betty to Mississippi State baseball games. My mother-in-law going to a college baseball game???
After a whirlwind courtship, they were married. They have recently celebrated their 10th anniversary. Last weekend, we drove to Memphis to help celebrate Betty's 80th birthday. I am including a few pictures from that precious event. Betty is recovering from a year of chemotherapy and radiation after being diagnosed with breast cancer. God is so good and His plans can make you smile!
This is a picture of Mark and I, my sons, their wives and Betty.

Mark and I, standing with Betty.

President Bush and Luara Bush sent her a birthday card!

Some of O.W.'s family and most of Betty's family were able to attend.

What Do I Boast In?

In Jeremiah 9:23-24, it dismantles some popular thinking about where to find our value. "The LORD says: Let not the wise man bask in his wisdom, nor the mighty man in his might,nor the rich man in his riches. Let them boast in this alone. That they truly know me, and understand that I am the LORD of justice and of righteousness whose love is steadfast; and that I love to be this way." Just sit in a group of people telling stories and you will quickly observe that everyone wants to boast about something. Even though I talk a lot in a group setting, I am by far the quietest one in my school lunch group. I eat lunch with a group of people that love to tell stories about their lives and try to "better" every one's story. I love these folks but they definitely can top my story any day.
What is interesting is what we all tend to boast in. I am thinking that God carefully chose his examples. This passage specifically mentioned wisdom, might and riches. The world highly values wisdom, might and riches! The world does not value the thoughts of a child(not wise enough), a weak person or a poor person. These categories of people need to depend on others. They are considered needy. They need someone to take care of them. Get the picture? I think I understand why God is pleading with the rich, wise or mighty people to not consider that something to find their value in. Those are the very things that cause them to not depend on Him.
So what does God want me to boast in? "That they truly know me." I have mentioned this so many times in my blog but it bears repeating. You can never truly know God without spending hours in His word. There is no substitute. You do not truly know God through hearsay or listening to a pastor or listening to your parents talk about God. If you are not disciplining yourself to spend time in the word, you are vulnerable to Satan's attacks. You will not know when he is lying to you.You will not know how mighty to save that our God is. God says boast or find value that "you truly know him."
Jeremiah also states that we need to "understand that I am the LORD of justice and righteousness." Sit on that fact for a minute. The world thinks erroneously that God will send everyone to heaven. In the newspaper a few days ago, I read an article concerning evangelical Christians, The author was pleased to report that many Christians now believe that they are not the only ones going to heaven.Trusting Jesus as Lord and Saviour is no longer the way,the truth and the light, according to the writer.
But God is not that way. God brings judgement on sin with an iron fist. When you read the Bible from cover to cover,your perception of God as non-judgemental will be shattered. Society preaches to our kids to be accepting of all sin and all beliefs. God is not like that at all. He brings judgement! However, remember he is the all-knowing judge who judges with fairness. He loves righteousness. We must know this about God. He does not ignore sin. He loves when I do the right thing and make right decisions.
The best is last..."his love is steadfast and he loves to be that way!" I cannot think of a thing to add. That is something to boast in...that God loves to be loving towards me.

What Do You Boast In?

I believe that we all have something about ourselves that we "boast" in. If we do not, then we are desperately searching for that item. It is human nature to cling to the one area that we can truly "boast" about. Child psychologists strongly recommend that you get your child involved in things that they can be confident about. This will help them weather the adolescent years when their self esteem is under fierce attack.
We say to ourselves, "I am not as beautiful as I would like to be, but at least I am athletic or smart or rich, etc." Human nature seems to compel us to find our value by what we have to offer to society. We place greater value on those who have more to offer. Is this wrong?
In Jeremiah 9:23-24, "The LORD says: Let not the wise man bask in his wisdom, nor the mighty man in his might, not the rich man in his riches. Let them boast in this alone: That they truly know me, and understand that I am the Lord of justice and of righteousness whose love is steadfast; and that I love to be this way." God always surprises us with His perspective. That is why, deep down, I always say, "If the world thinks this way, God thinks the opposite."
This is hard to take. When we spend our whole lives carefully building our self-esteem to the point where we finally feel good about ourselves 99% of the time...and God throws a curve ball. I hate that sometimes. I like to get my life together and feel good about it for the next ten or twenty years. I want to boast about myself. It took a lot of work to find something to boast about. I do not naturally have anything that the world would look at and admire...no beauty, riches, power, etc.
But there is good news. In fact, it is fantastic news! When God dismantles a false idea, he replaces it with an out-of-this world truth. I do NOT have to find my value in beauty or riches or the world's wisdom! What a relief! Probably not good news for the beauty queens or Bill Gates. That concept would not resonate very well with them if you told them this nugget of truth. But truth is truth. You can't change it just because you don't agree with it.
So why is this so exciting? Because there is something very precious to boast about. Everyone can boast about it...not just a select few. Verse 24 says, "Let them boast in me alone!" God is enough to boast about! Again, you must look at this with spiritual eyes and not the deceiving colored glasses of society. Picture a rich and powerful man who does not know the LORD. Next to him place a financially struggling young man who has decided that Jesus Christ alone is LORD of his life and is passionate in his pursuit of him. Society will find no value in the poor man, but will quote the rich man and will desire to know his "secrets to success." But who has actually has something to boast about? The man who has access to the creator of the universe! He can "walk boldly before the throne of grace" anytime he wants. God has invited him to "ask for wisdom" anytime he needs it. God has reminded the poor man that he owns the "cattle on a thousand hills." I would rather be hooked up with the poor man anyday. He has more to boast about.
I haven't done a cliff-hanger in a few weeks. My next blog will continue with the way to find our value.

Ode to My Daughter-in-Laws

I was reading Proverbs 31 the other day for the millionth time. Usually I try to squeeze out any little morsel of wisdom that I want to apply to my life. However, this time, I read it through different eyes. I thought about my sweet daughter-in-laws and was amazed at the resemblance.
Mark and I prayed for godly wives for our sons for years! By the way, we also asked for our sons to be in love with the Bible and live by its wisdom as if their life depended on it. We cared more about their hearts than we cared about their grades, their athletic successes, their popularity, etc. God answered a huge prayer request. Both of our sons got married this past year!
I want to devote a blog to telling you about the precious girls that they married.
Luke is married to Cherish.


Ben is married to Lynn.

Are they adorable or what?

Proverbs 31 says that if "you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems." Both of our sons found a truly good wife.

"Her husband can trust her and she will richly satisfy his needs."
Wow! Ben and Luke trust their wives and know that they will be faithful to them and will delight them through the years with their adorable personalities.

"She will not hinder him, but will help him all of her life." Understatement!!! Lynn and Cherish are more devoted to my sons'success than they are their own.

"She buys wool and flax and busily spins it." I realize that they do not buy much wool or flax, but I love the way these amazing women have taken care of their homes and made it a nice place to come home to.

"She is energetic and a hard worker." Both Lynn and Cherish work 40 hours a week, are very active in their ministries at church and manage to cook, do laundry and keep their home clean. Wow!

"She sews for the poor and generously helps those in need." Lynn was recently involved in The Houston Project. She went out every night for a week and shared the gospel to those in need. Read all about it on her blog. Cherish provided peanut butter cookies and drinks to the men who stand on Cooper Street waiting on a daily job. Both of these godly women have a compassionate heart for the poor.They live it on a daily basis.

"She is a woman of strength and dignity." I love the way my sweet daughter-in-laws dress and conduct themselves with dignity. They have an inner strength that comes from the LORD.

"When she speaks, her words are wise and kindness is the rule for everything she says." I love to hear what Lynn and Cherish have to say. Because they study the Bible on a daily basis, they speak truth and wisdom. I know that there are many girls that would not pass the next test...being kind. Girls can be downright mean at times. I have NEVER heard Lynn or Cherish gossip or make hateful comments about others. People that know them would characterize them as incredibly sweet natured.

"Her children stand and bless her and so does her husband, He praises her with these words.There are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all."
I am anxious to say that my future grandchildren will stand and bless their moms! However, I know that my sons feel that they have been given a gift from God.
Their In-laws think that they are beautiful, clever, and wise beyond their years. They have brought joy and happiness to our sons. I am so thankful that God wisely chose these girls to marry our sons.

Empty Stables

I have always loved this verse from Proverbs 14. "An empty stable stays clean...but there is no income from an empty stable." It is such a simple concept and yet it speaks to each of us in different ways.
For example, my empty stable could be my home. I have always thought that God is interested in the place that we chose to live. We prayed much over the choice of buying a home when we moved to Texas and know that this particular house was the right choice for us. We have made many changes but one thing has not changed, it is a home for God's use and not ours. If we did not open our home to guests, our carpet would not be stained, our furniture would not sag in the middle, and there would be no scratches on our wood floor. In other words, our empty stable would be clean. But we would miss the harvest that follows. We would miss the opportunity to invest. The whole point of a stable is to provide housing for animals. The whole point of our possessions is to provide things that God can use. How foolish to long for an empty, clean stable that no one has "messed up" or "used up."
For some folks the empty stable could be our calendar. It is a thrill to see more free time in our busy lives. I am not saying that we do not need a time to relax and replenish. I am saying that it is tempting to look at a calendar and want to hoard the time for our own pursuits...our own amusements.
I heard a speaker say that we need to invest our days and not spend our days. I am guilty of spending my day recklessly and not investing my day into things that will count for eternity. Our churches are filled with people that spend their time on themselves and do not invest their time in service. The empty stable to them is a clean calendar, but when there is no messy acts of service(and service does get messy) there is also no eternal rewards. The point of our time is investing in eternal things and not an empty calendar to spend on our time on ourselves. "Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should."
The saddest empty stable is the empty heart. Many people do not take the risk of giving away our heart. It seems safer to keep our distance. We throw ourselves into our jobs, our recreation, or our next meal. We go to great lengths to shield ourselves from pain. But an empty heart yields no income. I realize that getting my heart filled up will be messy and scary. But the income will be worth the mess that is created.
The next time you are tempted to take the safe way of an empty stable, reconsider. An empty stable yields no income, no rewards.

Above All Else, Guard Your Affections!

"Above all else, guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life." Proverbs 4:23
Strong words from King Solomon. I think it is worth spending some time, thinking more about this topic if it is going to influence EVERYTHING else in our life. For the sake of simplicity, let's think of the word affections as obsessions. Ask yourself "What are you obsessed with?" What do you spend the most time thinking about? Many things come to mind.It could be your current boyfriend or girlfriend. Other obsessions include money, possessions, eating, appearance, drugs, alcohol,video games, sex,or even sleep. Some of these in itself are not bad things. However, you can take each area and easily see how an unhealthy obsession in any of these areas can truly influence everything else in your life. Before reading anything else, think about what is your main area of obsession? Be honest.
Next, ask yourself this question...are you secretive about this affection or obsession? Remember to fear areas of your life where you are wanting to keep secrets. I am not advocating to post an ad in The New York Times and confess your sins. However, infections, wounds, injuries must be brought into the open to heal. Sometimes a cut that did not heal properly must be cut open again and cleaned up in order to heal. Always, a red light should go off if you are wanting to do things in secret.Satan is the ruler of darkness, not light.
I want to stop and give an example in my own life. I will look foolish and uncool, but I am fairly sure that I am already foolish and uncool. One of my strongholds is eating too much, which leads to obsessing over my appearance which leads to low self-esteem, which affects my ministry, etc. Satan always seems to spiral our problems. However, this enforces the idea of that our affections always influence our life in many other areas.
Also, overweight people tend to eat stuff in "secret." We would not want to be seen eating a handful of cookies. Get the point?
Let's say that you have identified your area(you may have more than one) and you have observed that you tend to keep it secret, but that you want to change. What would your next step be? Obviously, you need to bring it before the Lord. We cannot change ourselves, no matter how hard we try. He can change us because he is almighty God.
I do believe that one of the first things you need to do after confessing to God, is find a person to be accountable to. Accountability is a powerful tool. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, it talks about how "two can accomplish more than twice as much as one." It goes on to say that"if a man falls when he is alone, who will pull him up?" Our older son, Ben, met with an accountability partner every single week, all through college. They committed themselves that they would not miss this important time. Back to my eating problem. I joined a "fat class" about 6 years ago and I am committed to it. I don't miss. Losing weight affected so many other areas of my life in a positive way.
Observe what the world is obsessed with and choose the opposite. The world sets it heart on power, I want to seek lowliness.The world sets its goal on outer beauty, I want to go inward. the world says to hoard your money for yourself, I want to give it away.The world says do not deny yourself anything. Jesus says, "Deny yourself and follow me." Eat when you want to, whatever you want. I want to eat in moderation. Have sex when you want...do not wait for marriage. Hmmn, bad idea. Have an abortion when you want...it is your right.
Have you ever noticed how people who are in favor of abortions think that they are non-conformists? In reality, they are simply following the crowd. That is why the verse at the top of blog is my all-time favorite. "Do not be conformed to this world!!!" The most wonderful thing happens when we do not conform to this world. We become transformed by the renewing of our minds. We prove that God's ways are perfect! Guard your heart above all else.

My Next Blog

I cannot understand how I can be off for the summer and be busier than during the school year. Days go by and I have no time to be on the computer. However, I have some more stuff to share about "guarding our affections" and I have already outlined it in my mind. I will post a blog tomorrow NO MATTER WHAT. I guess I am just telling that to myself because I do not think that anyone is checking this site everyday just to see if I added a new blog:):):) But just in case my sister,Pam, is checking everyday...I will post again tomorrow.

More pictures

I "cheated" a little here. This picture was not actually from the cookout. This was another college party at our house. I just wanted a picture of John, Steven and Kent somewhere on this blog.

This is a picture of our fearless leader, James Myers.

Jason is wearing Mark's swimsuit.

Pool volleyball was a big hit.

More pool volleyball.

More party people.

Grant's birthday was the same day of the party so we celebrated.

My good friend, Jake Kaylor, showed me how to do pictures on my blog. I knew how to add them...I just did not know how to arange them. I look forward to school starting again because I eat lunch with Jake everyday. His wife's blog is under "favorite blogging friends."

College Cookout

I wanted to show off some of my favorite people...my college kids! We had a cookout for July 4th and over 60 people came. This is Albert and I. He makes me look better in a picture.

Austin is actually not in college but we let him slip in to the cookout because he is so adorable.

This is R.B., Rod and Leigh Bryant, Bruce Scharnhorst, his daughter LaRae and Charlie Anderson sitting by the pool talking. Some of my favorite people in the world!


Morgan and Corey are new college freshman.


As are Nicole,Allyson, and Elizabeth.

Michelle, Travis and Seth are hanging out.



Elizabeth is a fantastic pool volleyball player. Kaycee supplies all my summer reading material.


Kaylee and Matt are eating desert in the kitchen.







In case you can't tell, I think I am the luckiest person alive to be able to hang out with such incredible people. I believe that God has his hand on this group of students and to watch him work in their lives in nothing short of amazing!

Guard Your Affections

The cliff hanger of my last blog was "sex." Before you write this topic off and say that you are married, female, older, whatever... I want you to know that the principals of this topic apply to anyone.Since I am writing mainly to my college group(that I love dearly), I wanted to choose a topic that 18-25 year old students may battle with.
In July, I read and meditate on the book of Proverbs. Remember that June is Psalms month. August and September are the books of the prophets. Then...October I finally reach the New Testament! It is my reward for staying the course all year.
Anyway, the book of Proverbs is the most readable book for Christians and non-Christians alike. No one I have ever met comes even close to the wise counsel found in the book of Proverbs. In the Proverbs 4:20-22, it says, "Listen, son of mine, to what I say. Listen carefully. Keep these thoughts ever in your mind; let them penetrate deep within your heart, for they mean real life for you, and radiant health." I don't know about you but I want real life. I want the most exciting life I can have. I don't want to miss a thing. If you are interested, keep reading.
Verse 23 goes on to say, "Above all else guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life!" I want to elaborate on that topic at a later blog, but for today I will apply this wisdom only to our affections regarding the opposite sex.
I heard a great message a few weeks ago at Ben and Lynn's church, FBC Houston. Greg Mott stated that when he works with college students, he assumes a problem with pornography. This is where I will lose some of you but hang in there. The ongoing obsession with pornography in our world today is not new. It is as old as the Proverbs. Solomon wants his son to "guard his affections." Solomon saw first hand the devastating consequences of not guarding one's affections. His father, King David, committed adultery with Bathsheba, his brother Prince Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar, and his brother Absalom slept on the rooftop with every one of his father's wives to shame his father. He had first hand knowledge of the result of not guarding your affections!
Solomon knew that to live a "real life" filled to the brim with God's blessings, to impact countless lives, to walk in freedom from guilt, to possess power to change the world around you...you must guard your affections like you would guard a truck from Fort Knox filled with gold bars. The strength of a man is the ability to control his passions. A weak man is one who does not deny himself anything his body craves. That is not the mark of a free man. That is Satan's lie.Satan will tempt you to give in and when you do, he will be your biggest accuser! How wrong is that? He lures you and then condemns you.
This message applies to girls as well. Being a female, I know that our heart craves attention and we want attention no matter what it costs us. When we dress in a seductive manner, we aren't fooling anyone but ourselves. When we post pictures of ourselves on Facebook,our motives are clear. We want attention, even inappropriate attention. Girls, do not think you are not kidding anyone. You dress yourself. No one chooses what you were. You intentionally plan what message you want to send by what you wear and what pictures you post. Proverbs is warning you that your choices influence everything else in your life. Your choices influence the marriage you will have.
Always remember that your knight in shining armour is the Lord. He rescues you, redeems you, tells you your worth, adores you, thinks you are beautiful..you don't need to impress him with your outward appearance. He is more interested in your heart. Delight yourself in him and he will give you the desires of your heart.
After being married for 30 years to a guy, I still haven't a clue about guys. I am not pretending to understand a guy's heart. However, the Bible says that the "heart is deceitful above all else." To blindly follow your affections and allow yourself to indulge in whatever behavior you feel called to participate is deceitful. You are deceived by the great deceiver and he will not rescue you when you fall. He only condemns.
This blog is not meant to add to your guilt. It is to shed light on schemes of the enemy. Greg Mott also said in his message, "Be afraid of the dark!" Be very afraid of staying in the dark with your computer, staying in the dark about what your intentions are about your way of dressing, girls! Get it out in the light. Expose it to the "Sonlight." Get some accountability. However, refuse, absolutely refuse to lay down in guilt when Satan condemns you. He wants you to believe that there is not a cure for your sickness. "In Christ there is no condemnation." He only comes "to give life and give it abundantly. " Wow, thank goodness that real life is not about my power but His power.

God's Favorite Child

In this blog, I want to throw out some ideas that I have been struggling with concerning my value in God's eyes balanced with my selfish nature and my desire to "be valued." I have pointed out how dangerous it is to form your own views of God as opposed to searching the scriptures to see who he really is. There are so many verses to make the case for how precious we are in God's sight. For example, in Psalms 90:13, "For he orders his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will steady you with their hands to keep you from stumbling against the rocks on the trail." (TLB) That one is pretty cool. In Psalms 84:11, "No good thing will he withhold from those who walk along his paths." "You are my mighty protector" or "You are the lifter of my head." I could go on for days to support the idea that God values us more than we can comprehend.
However, if that is all I know then my prayers will reflect only that knowledge. Listen to yourself when you pray. Do you prayers consist of only petitions? I have noticed this in my own prayers lately. I sound like a spoiled child. During the month of June, I read and meditate on the book of Psalms. It is impossible to read the Psalms and not bow lower and lower and want to close my mouth and simply sit in awe of God's majesty. My prayers begin to change. I spend most of the time talking about how mighty and matchless and limitless God is.
Imagine it like this. If you have a great relationship with your earthly father this will be easier to imagine. Picture yourself talking with your dad and making a request known to him. If it is a something that he can easily afford and will not harm you, you feel confident in asking. I am going to twist it a little here. What if you have a lot of siblings and your dad is very wealthy? There will be a temptation to get jealous of what the other siblings receive. You will want everything to be totally fair and you may end up whining if they are not fair to each sibling. It would be easy to be very self-centered and ask for many things that you don't really need just because you know your dad can afford it and your sibling received the same things.
That is the part I am struggling with right now. When I look around at what my friends have, it is easy to become a little perturbed at God because I think I need the same thing that they have received. After all, I am valued. I am God's favorite, aren't I? I am not merely talking about material things. If one of your friends has what you perceive as a great marriage or an enviable dating relationship, then you are mad at God because he has not given you the same thing. If another friend has been given recognition or talents that are applauded and you think that you have been given lesser gifts, you may be a little jealous.When you have a friend who son is valedictorian and your child is in resource math, you may wonder why they have been more in God's favor. If your family is struck with cancer, you can't help but question God and wonder why you are not being blessed with good health. These are heart-wrenching questions. And the temptation may be to focus more on my attributes and how I am "worthy" rather than simply focus more on God's attributes and how he is worthy.
Back to my prayers...I think that I need to spend much of my time praising God for his many attributes that simply boggle my mind. I need to meditate on the "relationship" with my heavenly father rather than the "resources" that my father can provide. Go back to the human relationship I mentioned earlier. If my sons came over and just wanted to be with us, ask for wisdom, laugh with us, let us bless them with every good thing we can...we would have a healthier relationship than if they saw us as a Santa Claus, giver of wishes. Don't miss the obvious here. Yes, we are valued by God more than we could comprehend, more than any earthly parent could ever value a child. But the focus has to be on God and not us. Be honest with yourself. You are self-centered! In my 8th grade math class, my name is said one hundred times an hour. My students want my attention right then and now when they need help, when they have a question and they do not want to wait on me to finish helping another student. I often say in frustration, "Do I look like I am sitting at my desk, drink a cup of cappuccino? Let me finish helping this student."
Listen to your prayers. Do they sound like that? Do you sound like a selfish child who gets right to the point? "I want this because they have this!" When I spend time praising God and mentioning all the things I love about him...I almost forget to ask him for anything. And when I do ask him, I feel confident that I am asking a father who can do anything he chooses, who can afford anything I ask for, who can always give me way more than I ask for. It is a subtle change but a necessary change so that we can enjoy the relationship God wants to have with his precious child.
Cliff-hanger...I want to talk about sex. Thought that would get your attention. Later, gator!

How Do You Expect God to Be?

I almost regret that I have started blogging. The way that I approach blogging puts a lot of pressure on me. I do not want to write about what I am doing. I want to write about what God is saying to me. I HUGELY enjoy reading other's blogs about what they are doing because it is a way of seeing how God is working in their life. I have simply not felt that that is how I want to write my blog. Therefore, I dread each time that I have to write because of the pressure of what to say. No slacking whatsoever!
That being said, I loved, loved, loved what I read this morning in Psalms 147. Let me also add a parentheses here and explain something. Mark and I read through the Bible every year. One of the main reasons that I love June is because I am out of school and because I am reading through the book of Psalms during the month of June...every year...for about 25 years. Okay, back to Psalms 147.
It says "The speed of a horse is nothing to him. How puny in his sight is the strength of a man. But his joy is in those who reverence him, those who expect him to be loving and kind." Doesn't that blow you away? You want to see God smiling? Reverence him and simply expect him to be loving and kind.
We all have different expectations of God. I have said this several blogs ago but it bears repeating. The most dangerous thing you can do is to make up your own version of God. Back in Psalms 135 it says,"The heathen worship idols of gold and silver made by men - idols with speechless mouths and sightless eyes and ears that cannot hear; they cannot even breathe. Those who make them become like them. And so do all who trust in them." When we expect God to be weak(like us) to be limited in knowledge(like us) to be limited in strength(like us) to take safe, predictable risks(like us) then that is what our life will be like. When our god is weak and human, then we settle for a life that is boring, depressing and at best, manageable. When we catch a glimpse of His glory and realize that He is NOTHING like us, we will pray differently and expect great things because we asking God Almighty to intervene.
We were reminded yesterday in our church service of the important of putting the Word of God as the highest priority in out life. Satan has lulled us into a false sense of security when we think that we can get by without reading God's word. When we don't read God's word, we do not ever figure out who God is. So when we pray to God we imagine him to be human and limited like us. In fact, if you are reading this blog, and do not know Christ as your Saviour, I would like to tell you why you may not be taking that step of faith. You imagine God as like you. You cannot imagine that he could add anything to your existence because he is just like you. You think that he thinks like you and provides out of a limited budget, with limited power and limited knowledge like you have. You reason that if you can't figure out your life's problems, how can God figure out your life's problems. I say that with tenderness and compassion because we are all like that to some extent. By God's mercy, he showed me that he is not at all like me. By spending time in God's word, I am constantly learning how He really is and not how I imagine him to be.
So back to the original thought. The more we read about God and how he operates, the more we understand that he is loving and kind and not a god who is ready to pounce on us at the slightest mistake. I would be heartbroken if my two sons viewed Mark and I as parents who cannot be trusted. If they came to us with a request or a problem, we would move heaven and earth to try to help them out. I hope that they expect us to be loving and kind to them. Since we are imperfect parents, how much more so will God hear my cry for grace and mercy and be loving and kind towards me. In Psalms 56, it says,"You have collected all my tears and preserved them in your bottle! You have recorded every one in your book." I can guarantee that Mark does not collect my tears and record every one in a book and Mark loves me a lot. So God is infinitely more loving and kind than my own husband.
I could go on and on about how important it is to stay in Gods word so that we can read about how loving and kind he is. I desire that this idea is so immersed in my mind, that God looks on me with joy because I EXPECT Him to be that way and not just because I hope he is that way!

Trust Him in Times of Trouble

"No I don't need your sacrifices. What I want from you is your true thanks; I want your promises fulfilled. I want you to trust me in your times of trouble so I can rescue you and you can give me glory." Psalms 50: 13-15(TLB)
Even though difficult, I believe I can almost handle the first two...giving true thanks to God and keeping my promises. However, without a doubt, to trust God in times of trouble is a little like jumping off a cliff with no assurance of what the jump will bring. What exactly is a "time of trouble?" I believe that it is a time of testing.
As a classroom teacher, I use testing to assess if any learning has taken place. I may spend a week on a topic in math and then I will announce the dreaded test that we will be having in a few days. There will be several different responses. There are always a few kids that do not dread the test at all. They have had lots of positive successes in the past with math. They always ace the math test so they do not fear a test. They may fear a science test but never math.
There are other students who become sick with fear. They have mostly failed their math tests and do not expect that this time will be any different. They may know much of what is on the test but they freeze up on test day and cannot perform.
Then there is the response of the majority of the class. They simply do not care. They hope they do well but it is not the end of the world if they don't. I love all the different responses and like to think about the reason behind their thinking. I love teaching 8th grade so much, in case I have not mentioned this!
There are many different responses to a time of testing in our life. It depends on the nature of the test and how comfortable the material is to us. If Mark and I faced a time of financial testing, it would not bother us as much as it might someone else. We do not value material things and have lived with much less than we have now. We are more comfortable with a financial test than a test involving our children. When God allows my children to be tested, I want to fear and not trust God with the outcome. I want to control the outcome and not allow God to receive the glory. I have to fight past the fear and take captive every thought that comes into my mind from Satan that would cause me to doubt the ability of God to handle the situation.
An interesting thing to realize is that God brings the test into our lives that we need the most help with. He is the perfect teacher because he understands my strengths and my weaknesses. He wants me to trust that he is good all the time and will allow times of trouble in my life because he is interested my holiness and not my happiness.
I remember this event as if it was yesterday. I was so in love with Mark in college and I was not sure where our relationship was heading. He asked another girl to homecoming, instead of me and I cried for two days. Then I had a light come on in my head. I realized that I wanted to trust God with the outcome of this relationship. I wanted to trust him BEFORE the outcome was known. I wanted to be thankful and allow him to decide, not me. It was the beginning of a lifetime of trusting God in the "unseen and not the seen." I have been through some times of trouble that are too personal to share on a blog. Let me assure you that I struggled with this request of God to "trust him in times of trouble so he could get the glory." I wanted to handle it myself. I am glad that he keeps testing me and helping me to learn how trustworthy he is.
I wanted to go back and talk about the group that do not care if a test is being given. Many Christians are not interested in the test, in being tested, in passing a test, etc. They blame God if they fail, they ignore God if they pass. If you find yourself in this category, give me a call. You are missing the point. It is a paradox. The Abrahams of this world who pass the biggest tests are the ones who gain the whole world.

Keeping Our Promises

If you read Tuesday's blog, you know that God wants some surprising things from us. Instead of the sacrificial things that we choose to offer, he says," I don't need those. Thanks anyway but I have everything I need already." This is against the common thinking of the Christian. It is against my thinking, to tell the truth. I love, love, love to be legalistic. Give me a rule, like go to church every Sunday, give 10% to the church, don't drink alcohol, don't do drugs, ...and I can mindlessly follow it. But this verse is telling me that God is not interested in those sacrifices. I am thinking "What in the world does he want?"
He tells us clearly in Psalms 50:14-15. He wants us to truly be thankful for all he has done, fulfill our promises and trust him in times of trouble so he can rescue us and we can give him glory.
Look with me at the second part of this request...fulfill our promises. I had to get up and walk around a lot when I got to this part. I told God that I was really going to look foolish if I could not come to grips with the reason behind that request. I believe the reason that this one is hard to wrap our minds around is because God is far beyond our thinking as far as making a promise and keeping a promise. In the Old Testament, his covenant with David to "always have his descendants on the throne" is mind-boggling. Who else do you know that can guarantee something like that? God makes an amazing promise with Abraham that he would give him so many descendants that they could not be counted. There are entire books written that compile all of the promises that God has made and he keeps every single one!
I think that most of us make very small promises and we keep them, unless we can't because of an unforeseen circumstance or maybe if we just don't feel like keeping that promise anymore. To us a promise is not that big of a deal.
I got to thinking about when does keeping a promise become a big deal to us. I will give you some clues. Think about the last time you saw a romantic movie and the guy goes off to war and promises the love of his life that he will return. He promises her that he will. He is going to keep that promise no matter what and then there is this tearful scene when he returns and he whispers to her,"I promised you I would return." Maybe you have heard a story about a father that promises their child that he will take care of them , no matter what. What do these two situations have in common? Why do you feel like you would keep your promise in these two situations? You probably guessed it...the depth of love that is involved in the person making the promise. The bigger the commitment to keep the promise, the deeper the love is of the promise-keeper. That is why God takes promise keeping so seriously. It shows the depth of his love. Love is dependable, faithful, unchanging. Our love for God should be like that, not up and down, love him only when convenient, etc.
You are probably seeing, like I am, that God is not interested in sacrifices that do not involve our heart. To be truly thankful and really interested in keeping my commitments to "love the LORD my God above all other Gods, to love my neighbor as myself" it will involve my heart. God is wise enough to know that sacrifices can be made without having a changed heart.
When we make a vow to wait on the LORD, to trust him with all our understanding, to let him direct our paths, it will involve a heart sold-out to the LORD. Again, we want to break our promise if we do not see God bringing a mate into out lives on our timetable. This is a heart problem. We decide to not wait any longer on the LORD. Heart problem. Stop trusting him. Heart problem. The solution is to get our heart problem fixed by the "heart-fixer" and not go back to the "meaningless sacrifices."

What God Really Wants

There is a scripture passage in Psalms that always arrests my attention when I read it.
It in Psalms 50. In this chapter God is summoning all mankind to hear something that he has to say. He is bringing charges against them. The picture is that of a judge in a courtroom. Let me add something here. The reason you need to read the Bible over and over again is because if you don't, you will have some misconceptions of who God really is. You will form your opinion based on other people's opinions or even worse, your own warped ideas of what you think he is like. You need to know the truth about His character.
One of the most vital truths is that he is a perfect judge. In Daniel chapter 7, the Bible speaks of him as the "Ancient of Days," as he sits down to judge. To be the ancient of days is to be a judge that knows the past, present and even future of every person is is to be judged. Just think of that...He is the PERFECT judge. He knows EVERY fact about everything.
Back to Psalms...he begins by stating that he has no complaint about their sacrifices that they regularly bring to the altar. For us the sacrifices may be our regular church attendance, the Bible studies that we have joined or just the sacrifices that we perceive that we have offered up to him when we came to know Christ. However, just as we are getting smug about God's lack of complaint, he blasts us out of the water of our pride. He points out that because he owns the cattle on a thousand hills, he actually does not need their sacrifice. So what in the world does God want from us if not our sacrifices? We have "given up" our habit of gossiping, anger, lust, revenge, 10% of our income if we are tithing, partying with our friends...you name it. So why is he not pleased with that?
Look further to verses 14-15 and you will find that what God really wants is "our true thanks, our promised fulfilled and he wants us to trust him in times of trouble so that he can rescue us and we can give him glory."
First, he wants your true thanks. When I think of people that I like to be around, I usually leave the complainers off the list. There are some people that always complain and never stop to think about all that they have instead of all that they don't have. The best exercise that you can undertake is to exercise your gratitude. Right now just stop, take a deep breath and think about all that God has done for you in the past month. If you start thinking negatively, let me point out why. Satan will bombard you with thoughts like he did Eve in the garden. He whispered doubts about God. He hinted that God may not have her best interests in mind and that he was holding out the best when God commanded them to not eat the fruit. He is good at this...so good because you don't even realize that it is the voice of Satan and not the voice of your heavenly Father. Do not give an audience to this. Instead, back up and start over with that exercise. Name all the incredible things that God has done for you. That is the way God wants you to live...with true thanks, instead of a small miserable, twisted heart that thinks everyone else has a perfect life except you. Singles, do not for a second be listening to the LIAR when he says, "You can't trust him with a potential marriage partner. He is holding out on you. Things aren't working out by waiting on God so you need to manipulate the odds a little."
I want to share about the "keeping our promises" the next time I write. I feel compelled to tell you that I am praying for the readers of this blog. So whether you like it or not, your name is being mentioned to the "Ancient of Days." :):):)

The Can't Stands

One of the comments on my blog said "these lists that we make for our future mates are pretty selfish in nature. We can get to the point where we really limit God on what He can offer us single folk. I know its a little hard to pull dating/courting/whatever views from scripture, but I don't really see any places where people who are fully submitted to the Father go and put conditions (i.e. lists)on things. Obviously there are some deal breakers -- or at least one -- like they must be going hard after Jesus. Other than that, I'm not so sure things matter. So long as they're surrendered to Him, things should certainly be able to work themselves out (assuming you are too)."
I gave that a lot of thought yesterday. I must admit that this book was not even published when I married Mark so I did not make a list before I met him. However, I know what my heart longed for and I had an understood "list" of the type of person I wanted to marry.
I had made a decision that the LORD was ALL I needed. I remember thinking that I wanted to marry someone who felt that way. So the top of my list would have been a guy that loved the LORD more than me. Reading through the list, I would have chosen to marry an emotionally healthy person, someone with strong character, what they valued would have been important, and I must admit I wanted to marry someone who wanted to have children.
One may argue that at long as they have the first thing on my list, the other things would have been there, as well. I would love to hear comments from singles on what you think. I feel strongly, that to take the opposite view and not give this incredible thought about the type of person you want to marry, would be foolish. You need to know yourself and what
is important to you. If looks or financial security are important to you, you will probably marry someone with those qualities. You will miss out on the very best if that is the top of your list!!!
"Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him." Psalms 25:12 God will give you wisdom to choose if you fear (honor) him.
Well, I am going to tell you the list of can't haves.

1. Lying
2. Cheating
3. Dominating
4. Financial Irresponsibility
5. Anger Issues
6. Pornography
7. Drinking or Drug use
8. Smoking
9. Gambling
10. Sexual Obsessiveness
11. Sloppiness
12. Laziness
13. Procrastination
14. Gossiping
15. Inappropriate Behaviour
16. Penny-Pinching
17. Foul Talker
18. Dependent on others
19. Arrogance
20. Extreme Shyness
21. Differing Musical Preferences
22. Spiritual Intolerance
23. Political Correctness
24. Reckless Driving
25. Fanatic(sports, politics, saving the environment, etc)

Decide what ten things would be the ones that you just could not tolerate for 50+ years of living with a person. Most of these I would not care about. However, there a few that I could not live with, no matter how much I think I love the person.

I spent some time in prayer this morning, asking God to help me to only speak truth...no Pat Cooper opinions, no secular wisdom, no popular statements...no one needs to hear that. Cliff-hanger...my next blog is going to reveal what God really wants from you.

Ten Must Haves!!!

"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." Psalms 45:11
If you have ever heard me share about dating, you have heard me share this verse. I weep whenever I read it actually. It is a reminder to me that NO ONE will ever love me like the king of kings, Jesus Christ himself. No one will ever love you more than you are already loved by your Saviour. Leave me a message if you need to know more about that. None of this stuff matters more than your relationship with Christ.
That being said, I want to tell you about this next list. I will tell you the 25 most popular must-haves. Again, the credit belongs to Neil Clark Warren, who wrote Two Dates or Less.
You will have to choose only 10 of these to be the things YOU consider the must-haves in your mate. This is so exciting!!!
1. Emotionally healthy.
2. Strong character.
3. Same Energy level.
4. Intelligence.
5. Chemistry.
6. Financial Security.
7. Verbal Intimacy.
8. Conflict-Resolution Skills.
9. Personal Habits, like grooming, punctuality, dependability, orderliness and remembering important dates.
10. Spirituality. Not just are they a Christian, but are they on your level?
11. Shared Interests, Hobbies,etc.
12. Political and Social Views.
13. Interest in Parenting and Apparent Ability to do it Well.
14. Personality.
15. Values.
16. Skills(taking care of household, taking care of automobile, athletics, dancing, etc)
17. Ambition.
18. Age
19. Race.
20. Religious Affiliation(Jewish, Catholic, Baptist, etc).
21. Level of Education.
22. Sexual History(purity, for example).
23. Height and Body Style.
24. Facial Features(how attractive).
25. Clothes Style(dresses in-style or out of style, expensive clothes or not, etc.)

Here is the hard part...you can only pick ten! After you have picked only ten, put them in order of importance, most to least important. If you are sincere in picking your list, then everyone you date should meet most of those requirements. Do not change just because you feel like that person will change or because you may not met anyone better and you need to settle for this person. Tomorrow will be the list of "can't-stands." Is this fun or not? If you are not sure what one of these mean, leave me a message. Of course, I don't know how to reply to a message.:):):)

How to Get to Know Yourself

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me." Psalms 139:1. Have you ever said, "I don't even know who I am?" There is a lot of truth to that statement. I don't think anyone really knows fully who they are. Thank goodness that God truly knows us, inside and out. So before you proceed any further, ask God to help you discover who you really are. You need his wisdom, not your own limited understanding.
There are many factors which make up who we are. I do not feel qualified to give anyone counsel. I'm sure that someone else's blog can help you with this.:):):) However, the book (remember Two Dates or Less?) lists some questions to ask yourself. I will put my favorites here.
1. Who is the most important person in your life and why?
2. What is your life's dream?
3. Who makes you angrier than anyone else and why?
4. Who makes you feel loved more than anyone and why?
5. When do you feel most afraid?
6. How important is money to you? Do you need a certain level of income to feel secure?
7. What is the role of God in your life?
8. How important is food in your life? Are you healthy in your approach to food? (only girls may understand the need for this question!)
9. Do you think of yourself as an emotionally healthy person?(this is where some people may not realize that they are emotionally unhealthy and need to get well before pursuing ANY relationship)
10. How do you approach conflict? Hide? Avoid? Confront?
I love these questions!!! Spend a long time thinking about how your answers to these questions. I think married couples, including myself, would benefit from self-analysis. This is not just for singles. When God reveals a painful area, we need to hear His voice on the subject and not listen to the voice of the Liar, Accuser, Satan himself. I am certainly not saying to wait until you are perfect until you marry. Mark would have never gotten married. Just kidding. NONE of us would have gotten married.
Tomorrow is my favorite part...10 must-haves and then Friday is 10 can't-stands. Or should I give you a day to examine yourself and then tell those? No way. You are dying to know, aren't you? Okay, Thursday it will be.

Two Dates or Less

Another powerful verse...
Psalms 37:34 "Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land." I like the second part. I don't like the first part. Plain and simple. Waiting is my least favorite thing to do. In so many areas of my life, I would rather go ahead and do it myself, if I have to wait for someone else to do it.
However, God repeated this command more times than I can count in the Bible. He is constantly asking us to wait on Him and NOT go ahead and do it ourselves. The waiting is a sign that we trust him. I think it is like emailing a best friend vs a casual acquaintance. If I did not hear back immediately from a best friend, I would not panic. I trust that person. We have a relationship with each other. I would assume that my friend is giving careful thought to whatever I said before they respond.
You have probably guessed how this fits in with the title...Two Dates or Less. We justify, rationalize or just outright rebel against this request to wait on God to bring the right mate into our life. We don't trust that he is taking care of things in our timetable.
I picked up a great book last weekend called Two Dates or Less. I want to share with my college group some great advice on choosing the love of your life. I will start general and then add some specifics tomorrow...the cliff-hanger, remember?
1) You have to get to know yourself so well that you can precisely identify the kind of person you will need to marry.
2) You need to figure out the ten most important items on your must-have list and the ten most important items on your can't-stand list. I will tell you some choices to help out here.
3) You need to learn how to read people so you can determine if this person is the right choice for you.
One more thing, a bad mariage is a 1000 times worse than no marriage at all. Repeat that to yourself 20 times a day.

What I would like for my blog to be about

I have a wonderful sister who lives in Tupelo, MS. She has the most adorable grandaughter named Marin. One time when Marin spend the night with her, Pam was trying to get her to stop talking and get some much needed sleep. Marin said,"But Nana, I have too many stories left in my mouth!"
I guess that is my problem. I have too many stories left in my mouth at the end of the day. I need a venue to express some of these thoughts. Those who know me well will tell you that I express myself even when not a soul cares about the topic. Blogging will be a way for only those who are interested in what I think about life to hear and I won't bore the vast majority of others who don't!
Most of the thoughts will have something related to the LORD. The ones that don't are not worth reading, believe me.
Today I want to share one of my favorite verses, Psalms 27:4. "The one thing I want from God, the thing I seek most of all, is the priviledge of meditating in his Temple, living in his presence everyday of my life, delighting in his imcomparable perfections and glory!"
My earnest prayer for this blog is that I reflect this in what I say.
I want a cliff-hanger so that you will want to check in tomorrow. I bought a book in Houston this weekend called ,"Two Dates or Less." My favorite topic is marriage advice so I am going to tell secrets to my college kids that I have the priviledge to work with at church. How fun is that!

A new blog!

My daughter-in-law Lynn helped me set up a blog today! I think I will enjoy writing my thoughts and giving you a piece of my mind :). Enjoy!