The Can't Stands

One of the comments on my blog said "these lists that we make for our future mates are pretty selfish in nature. We can get to the point where we really limit God on what He can offer us single folk. I know its a little hard to pull dating/courting/whatever views from scripture, but I don't really see any places where people who are fully submitted to the Father go and put conditions (i.e. lists)on things. Obviously there are some deal breakers -- or at least one -- like they must be going hard after Jesus. Other than that, I'm not so sure things matter. So long as they're surrendered to Him, things should certainly be able to work themselves out (assuming you are too)."
I gave that a lot of thought yesterday. I must admit that this book was not even published when I married Mark so I did not make a list before I met him. However, I know what my heart longed for and I had an understood "list" of the type of person I wanted to marry.
I had made a decision that the LORD was ALL I needed. I remember thinking that I wanted to marry someone who felt that way. So the top of my list would have been a guy that loved the LORD more than me. Reading through the list, I would have chosen to marry an emotionally healthy person, someone with strong character, what they valued would have been important, and I must admit I wanted to marry someone who wanted to have children.
One may argue that at long as they have the first thing on my list, the other things would have been there, as well. I would love to hear comments from singles on what you think. I feel strongly, that to take the opposite view and not give this incredible thought about the type of person you want to marry, would be foolish. You need to know yourself and what
is important to you. If looks or financial security are important to you, you will probably marry someone with those qualities. You will miss out on the very best if that is the top of your list!!!
"Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him." Psalms 25:12 God will give you wisdom to choose if you fear (honor) him.
Well, I am going to tell you the list of can't haves.

1. Lying
2. Cheating
3. Dominating
4. Financial Irresponsibility
5. Anger Issues
6. Pornography
7. Drinking or Drug use
8. Smoking
9. Gambling
10. Sexual Obsessiveness
11. Sloppiness
12. Laziness
13. Procrastination
14. Gossiping
15. Inappropriate Behaviour
16. Penny-Pinching
17. Foul Talker
18. Dependent on others
19. Arrogance
20. Extreme Shyness
21. Differing Musical Preferences
22. Spiritual Intolerance
23. Political Correctness
24. Reckless Driving
25. Fanatic(sports, politics, saving the environment, etc)

Decide what ten things would be the ones that you just could not tolerate for 50+ years of living with a person. Most of these I would not care about. However, there a few that I could not live with, no matter how much I think I love the person.

I spent some time in prayer this morning, asking God to help me to only speak truth...no Pat Cooper opinions, no secular wisdom, no popular statements...no one needs to hear that. Cliff-hanger...my next blog is going to reveal what God really wants from you.