Getting Old, Part 5

I keep thinking of things I need to consider to prepare for "oldness." I will be there one day. So far, I talked about forgiving myself of past mistakes, be careful of the things I file in my mind, define my idea of a life well-spent and do not allow old age to be a time of uselessness. Today I want to ponder on the people I need to forgive.

I once read a quote about the economy of forgiveness. "Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits." I believe that when we hold on to grudges again a family member, a friend, a co-worker and especially when we hold to a grudge against God, we are bankrupting our spirit. We are needlessly spending way too much time, thoughts, and energy on that person and that situation. Couldn't we all use that time, thoughts and energy on something more worthwhile than hatred?

The most foolish thing that we do is to hold onto to a grudge against God. I cannot fathom how God has disappointed you. Maybe he let you down with a death of a loved one, a financial disaster, or lack of a marriage partner. Whatever it was, you may have stayed angry with God for way too long. There are endless books written on this topic, so I cannot pretend to cover this in a brief blog. However, this I know...let go of the feeling that God let you down.

Did you realize that this is one of the three major areas of sin? In a nutshell, all of sin can be put into these three categories: Lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the pride of life. To believe that God let you down, implies that God did not provide all that you needed to live an abundant life. You "see something" with your eyes(lust of the eyes) and you are thinking that God should not withhold that from you. Eve did that and for centuries, we have been deceived into thinking that God just did not come through for us. It is time that you let go of that false belief. I know of many older people who cannot "forgive" God for holding out on them. They are bitter and angry people.

Hopefully, you are realizing that there are some types of older people that you do not want to emulate. Well, you do not have to be like that.  But you must do something about it now before you become the person you always said you would not want to be. The cement will harden one day. I am praying for whoever reads this blog that they will take some courageous steps to becoming the older person that everyone wants to be around.

Getting Older, Part 4

A big step to becoming the older person you want to be is forgiving yourself of past mistakes. Wow! That is worth stopping by this blog for a minute. What mistakes have I made in the past that I just won't let go of?  I can make myself sick by focusing on my past failures.

Start with financial issues. I would love do over some foolish mistakes in that area. I continue to beat myself up over past financial mistakes I have incurred, things I bought that I did not need at the time, listening to that guy that sold us the frozen food plan:), buying a new car when we really should have bought a used car. My list may not be your list. But we all have a list of past mistakes in the area of finances.  I can learn from them and I have learned from them.   But I cannot change them.

Next on the list of past failures is all the diets I lost interest in.  I would still fit into my wedding dress if I had stuck with the hundreds of diets I started. I cannot change the past.  I certainly can learn from the reasons or circumstances that triggered a meltdown of my diet. I can change the future in that area.

I must add to this list, the failures as a wife, parent, teacher, or friend.  I would do many things different in personal relationships.  I must forgive myself and not continually dwell on mistakes I have made with people.

I have saved the hard issues for last.  We have all made mistakes, myself included, on moral issues. I know this is a broad category.  I am talking about lying, cheating, stealing, purity issues, or anytime we displayed a complete lack of character. Without a doubt, failures in this area have changed the path we are walking on today. It is hard to forgive ourselves of outright breaches of our "code of ethics." Your standard of right and wrong may vary from mine, especially if the Bible is not your present guiding light. Nonetheless, we have all disappointed ourselves in the way we have acted.

Which brings me to the point of this blog.  I believe that the older person I will become will be shaped largely by the amount of forgiveness I allow myself.  Think about that.  I could have lived,comparatively speaking, a failure-free life.  Impossible, yes.  But for the point of this discussion, pretend that there is person who has made very few mistakes.  However, if that person continually focuses on those past failures, they would be miserable indeed. They can learn from those failures. They cannot change what they did.

I know so many people who will not forgive themselves for past mistakes.  They are imprisoned by these so-called failures. But the funny thing is that these prison doors are not locked. They are free to leave any time they choose. Did you realize that? Be kind to the older person that you will be. Forgive yourself completely. Quit dragging around the past like a weight around your ankle. Get better, not bitter about the past.

The person you are becoming(old person part 3)

I let go of this topic for a couple of weeks.  I thought I was done. Actually,  I was done with this whole blog business.  However, about 4:00 A.M. this morning I could not go back to sleep. So these are the additional thoughts on the old person I will become.

What you are dwelling on today is who you will become.  Let that thought soak in.  You are programing into your mind the things that will be in there for the rest of your life.  Mental images are finding a spot in one of your filing systems in your brain.  We are so careless with what we put in our files!

For example, the first thing that comes to my mind is the TV shows and movies that we view. My friends and family know this about me...I do not like chick flicks.  I realize that this was probably a result of allowing my husband and sons to pick the movies they wanted to see. However, it has become more than that to me. Chick flicks are more likely to  display nudity, sex scenes, and unrealistic romantic relationships. Let's face it.  The people in the movies are portrayed as the most extraordinary lovers of all time.  The guys do not forget to put out the trash, the guys always know the right thing to say, the girls go to bed with their make-up on and look amazing in any situation and to top it off...no one ever seems to go to work!

When I constantly plant those images in my mind, Mark has no hope of competing. Especially deadly is the thousands of images placed in the minds of a single person who is looking for that kind of a person to marry.  He or she does not exist because marriages are made up of real people who mess up all the time.

2 Corinthians 10:3-6

^3-6The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

The world does not fight fair. Movies and TV shows are not produced so that I will become a better person. I want to take captive the thoughts that I  allow to creep into my mind. I want to become an older person who helps to smash down warped philosophies. I want to build a life of obedience. and maturity. I am becoming what I am allowing in my mind, no matter what my outward self is doing.
True confession...the main reason that I wanted to express these thoughts is because of the flippancy of many women who planned to see Magic Mike. Comments placed on Facebook about that movie disturbed me greatly. Hear me out.  This is not the worst movie ever. I do not mean that at all. However, it represents a general trend of society that is scary. Be careful of who you are becoming. If that is girls' night out this year, what will be girls' night out ten years from now?

***This blog was written 7 years ago. Oh my goodness...I am not a prophet, but wow! Movies have definitely gotten worse.

Wait and Look

“The Lord is good to those who wait for him. He is good to those who look for him.”
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3:25‬ ‭ERV‬‬

There are two powerful action words in this verse...wait and look. Many of His promises in the Bible revolve around waiting on Him and looking for Him.

Are you looking for Him? Looking involves a intentionality each day to stop and read His Word and talk to Him. If we spend our whole day with other things and never take time to "look for Him," we are missing the main reason that we exist. TV is not the main reason that we exist. Food is not the main reason we exist. Even work is not the reason that we were created. We were created for fellowship with our creator.

The other thing that we need to do is wait. Just because I start a diet today, I won't reach my goal today. Just because I start saving money today, I have to wait and continue to save money for a goal. When we purpose that we will not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds, we have to wait and trust that God will transform us.

Hallelujah! This verse says that God is so good to those who seek Him and wait for Him. I need God's goodness today.

Investments over time

Growing your wealth over time

"Making consistent investments over a number of years can be an effective strategy to accumulate wealth. Even small additions to your investment add up over time. Of course, a program of regular investing does not ensure a profit or protect against a loss."

I copied this right off my financial advisor's website. Everyone has probably read this at one time or another. I doubt any of us would disagree with the idea of saving consistently over time to accumulate wealth.  A quick illustration to solidify the point:

I went to a calculator on the Internet and plugged in a monthly contribution of $100 per month, starting at age 21, earning 7% interest and continuing until age 65. I used the same numbers but started the contributions at age 41, a still relatively young age. The results were startling. The 21 year old would earn over $330,000 upon retiring, while the 41 year old would only earn $72,532 by the same age...a difference of about $257,468!  Neither person is even sweating over the monthly amount, about than $3 a day. But the consistent, early investor is going into retirement with a little more emergency money than the late investor. Just thought I would add one more investor, the 51year old. He would only net about $2500 at age 65!

Obviously this blog is not going to be about finances. There are hundreds of articles dealing with investment strategies. However, the principals remain the same in every other area of life. If we want to make some significant changes in our life, we have to make small, consistent deposits over long periods of time. If we want to invest in our kid's lives, we must make small but daily deposits in their emotional bank accounts. Spending quality time with them each day(the younger, the longer the period of time needed) over many years will yield stronger bonds in the relationships. We can't wait until we see signs of our relationship unraveling and try to cram in more time all at once. Doesn't seem to work with time or relationships

In the area of health, guess what? Same principal applies. To enjoy better health in our 60's and 70's, we can increase our chances by exercising 30- 60 minutes, several times a week over as many years as possible. My dad walks 18 holes of golf, 6 days a week for as many years as I can remember and he can easily walk around at age 87. He did not start golf at age 65. He started it many years before that. My husband has exercised several days a week his entire life and has not had to slow down as he approaches age 60 in a few months. He can do everything now that he could do at age 21!  I am not kidding about this guy. 

Same principal applies to eating. We cannot wait to change our eating habits at age 60 simply because we have developed health issues. The time to start is now because we are investing in our healthy future. We must consistently eat the rights foods everyday. The changes in our appearance will come gradually, but we will sustain them because we are investing in our future.

But the most important area of consistency is spiritual. You can wish a lot of things to be true when you are 65, but your joy and strength will come from your walk with the Lord. Many people…most people have a desire to know the Lord. I have observed over my years of working with young adults that the desire is hindered by a long term vision. Who do you really want to be at age 50 or 60 or even 70? Be kind to the older person you will become. Invest in that person!!! If you spend your whole life intending on starting a plan and never quite doing it, you have squandered the years of consistent investments. The same principal of money holds true with Christian growth. Years of spending consistent times with the Lord and reading his word pays huge dividends!!! 

Start off with a plan of reading 15 minutes a day at the same time. You Version has hundreds of plans to follow. Pick one. My 15 year old nephew has been consistently picking a plan for over a year. I weep at the thought of the man of God he will be when he is 60!!! He will know God's character. He will not have to learn about God second hand and think to himself "Oh, so that is what God is like." He is not being fancy or legalistic. He has just simply begun at an early age to contribute small amounts of time to invest in the man he will be. Small consistent contributions over long periods of time yield powerful results.

 Begin a prayer journal if you are struggling with a consistent prayer time. Assign a day to pray for different topics. Monday can be about your future spouse. Tuesday can be about your unsaved friends. Keep it simple. But keep it consistent. You will soon see your prayer bank account grow because you will begin to see answered prayer.

As you grow older you will find that NOTHING can keep you from having a time with the Lord. You will begin to depend on it because your relationship with the Lord will be a sweet time of fellowship with the one that you love most. You will be like the person in Psalms 1,

"But they delight in the law of the Lord,

    meditating on it day and night.

3 

They are like trees planted along the riverbank,

    bearing fruit each season.

Their leaves never wither,

    and they prosper in all they do."

At 65, I want to be a huge, healthy tree planted along a riverbank and I am investing in the tree today.