He Will Never Leave You Or Forsake You

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.””

‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6, 8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Two times in 3 verses, God said that he will never leave us or forsake us. If you are a believer, you cling to that promise. There is nothing we could ever do that would cause him to turn his back on us. This gives us courage. It should take away our fear. 

“Leaving” is a physical act. “Forsaking” is an emotional act. Regardless of what we do, God will never turn His attention away from us. ~ Jimmy Evans 

Marriage is a picture of Christ and his bride. Does our spouse feel the same about way about us as this promise we receive from Christ? Does our spouse know that no sin or shortcoming would cause us to leave or forsake them?

When our spouses disappoint us, and they will, do we emotionally turn away from them? Do we literally turn our back and protect ourself from further pain? How do we react when our spouses act like a wretched sinner that Christ died for? 

We are all a bunch of wretched sinners that are not worthy of Jesus to continue to turn his face toward us. Why does he continue to turn toward us and pursue us? How is this possible? We don’t even love ourselves at times. 

When our spouse doesn’t even love themselves, the last thing they need is for us turn away from them. If we could find the strength to continue to turn towards our spouse, even when they don’t deserve it, we will be a part of the healing process. I know you may say, “But you don’t know how messed up our spouse is.” 

This something that we won’t understand until the day we stand before our maker.  God will have the words that we long to hear. 

“Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things. “

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I want to hear that one day in the way I treated Mark when he disappoints me. And when I disappoint him, I hope and pray that he doesn’t turn his face away from me. That is the point of marriage. In a mysterious way, we growing closer to the Lord until the day we see him face to face. 

Top Reasons to Marry(do not miss this blog)

I wrote this blog 7 years ago. I think I will come up with 5 more reasons:)

Today is the 34th anniversary of our marriage.  Mark is taking a nap(the Sunday afternoon kind) and so it seemed like a great time to blog about my thoughts about marriage. I wrote a blog about a week ago, asking the question "Should people still get married or just live together?"  My main reason to marry was to reveal your selfish nature.  Looking back, I am smiling, "Is that all I could come up with?" Not a very persuasive reason for people to jump into marriage!  So here are some other reasons why marriage was a good decision 34 years ago.
1.  Mark and I had to make a conscious decision to work at marriage. Did we work at it everyday?  Heavens, no!  We each had our seasons of expecting the other person to do all of the work and us to reap all the benefits. Many compromises had to happen along the way.  Mark likes guy movies.  I grew up with 3 sisters so I was not used to murders every 5 minutes in my movies.  I have to admit that he weaned me off chick flicks so I would probably never choose that as my source of entertainment.  Mark loves to dance.  I am so insecure because I can't dance.  Well, along the way Mark has turned me into a little bit of a dancer. He started out with dancing with me anytime we rented a movie.  The end of the movie signaled a time to dance.  Then he snuck it in when we were making Friendship bread together.  He turns up the I Pod and we dance after the bread goes in the oven. Then, the icing on the cake was last fall. We signed for for country western dance lessons!  Many compromises.
2.  We learned so much about prayer.  Understatement!  Somewhere along the way, we agreed to make reading our Bible together and praying together every morning a top priority in our marriage.  May I add a commercial here?  If you are not reading your Bible and praying on a regular basis before you marry, you probably won't be doing that together after you are married.  We decide when we need to leave for work or whatever, and we back that up by 30-60 minutes.   If we need to leave for work by 7:00, we agree to be dressed and ready to go by 6:20.  Then we sit together in living room and read our Bible and pray together. Saturdays, we spend a longer time on the back porch. We carefully selected the chairs for the back porch.  We call them "magic moment" chairs.  A lot of life's issues have been prayed about at 6:30 at the Cooper's house.  Years of stuff. Bad, good, very sad, hopeless times, times of great joy...they all cycled through prayer.
3.  Learning to serve the other person.  I look back to the time to our early days of marriage and I cringe to think about how self-serving I was.  I was honestly afraid that if I served Mark, unconditionally, that I would just be a doormat.  This is what a lot of wives are afraid of, that they will do all the giving and get nothing in return. But isn't that the essence of the Christian life?  We are obedient, no matter how crazy it seems. The Bible is full of stories where God commanded the people to do almost foolish things and the results were unbelievable. God has shown that to be true over and over again in our marriage.  If I am obedient to his word, he takes care of the marriage part.  When I serve Mark and not worry about whether Mark will reciprocate, I am in for the sweetest joys life can offer.
4.  Seeing how your mate grows in his walk with the Lord.  Mark Cooper is simply not the same person that I married 34 years ago.  Compared to the way that I feel about Mark today, I honestly did not know what it meant to love someone. I "loved" the idea of being married. I "loved" the idea of a wedding and keeping a house.  I "loved" the idea of someone giving me attention. I "loved" the idea of having someone around to talk to and do stuff with.  I "loved" the idea of the other person completing me, whatever that is supposed to mean.  But  I cannot honestly say that I loved Mark, for who he really was, warts and all.  In fact, I closed my eyes to any warts.  I wanted to marry a perfect person, not a person with faults or weaknesses. The amazing thing about living with a growing Christian, as opposed to a perfect Christian, is that the person continues to grow and become more Christlike. As Mark becomes more Christlike, I am more attracted to this person I am spending my life with.
5.  I actually was going to name 10 things but this is getting too long. My 5th reason to get married is see God use a couple of wretched sinners to make a difference in his kingdom.  We are so very flawed.  We are so average.  I laugh sometimes when I think about how un-cool I am!  No athletic ability, whatsoever.  Can't find my way to anywhere.  I am always lost. We are not much to look at, definitely not rich, lacking in talents and yet God has blessed us by using us.  How can he?  Because we keep asking him to.  We keep putting one foot in front of the other and showing up. Showing up for prayer every morning, showing up for ministry in our church, showing up for jobs, showing up to be a parent to our married sons...not feeling confident at all in our own abilities. But we are more confident than ever in God's abilities to use us.
Let me finish by saying this...thanks for reading this blog.  I really appreciate it.  I prayed that God would speak in a mighty way to whoever reads this.  So you got prayed for.

Making Marriage a Priority, part two.

When I wrote my last blog on marriage, I did not realize that many younger women were interested in reading about an older woman's perspective on marriage. Actually when I wrote the last blog, it was 3:30 AM and I was in the middle of an incredibly stressful time.  God said the words for me to type so fast, I could hardly keep up with his thoughts. I reread it yesterday and saw many grammatical errors! Yikes! They were my mistakes, not the Lord's:).

In retrospect, many more thoughts have come to my mind. I share them only in the hopes that a young married person, or any age for the matter, will take these words to heart and apply the Biblical principals to your marriage.

Ask yourself this question before you read another word. "What kind of a marriage do I want to have 5 years from now?" What kind of marriage do I want to have 30 or 50 years from now?" You can choose.  But realize that there are no shortcuts to an amazing marriage. A marriage that impacts other people. None. God does not live in a shortcut world. He does not look at my life and say, "Pat, you can take a shortcut, an easy way, a less stressful way, a non-suffering way to look more like my Son." He is clear that his way will be more difficult and he does not have to apologize about it. Jesus said in Matthew,

 “You can enter true life only through the narrow gate. The gate to hell is very wide, and there is plenty of room on the road that leads there. Many people go that way. But the gate that opens the way to true life is narrow. And the road that leads there is hard to follow. Only a few people find it.

See what I am talking about?  It makes me tremble when I read his word and allow myself to be confronted by its truth and not try to paraphrase it to be what I want it to be. How does this impact our marriage choices?

Begin by drawing a line in the sand(I love to say that) and deciding that you will make choices that will be difficult at times. Like waking up early and reading God's word and talking to Him. Mark and I wake up at 4:30 AM and read God's word and then pray together. Your schedule may not require such a ridiculous time. This is what our schedule requires this year. For years, we have made this a habit and so it was not so hard to keep this in place when my husband's job changed and he had to leave earlier this year than last year.

Here are the benefits of this. We both know what God's word says and don't have to take anyone else's word for it. We are more likely to live by the principals in the Word because we read them over and over again. They come to our mind often. God has some stuff to work with in my mind when he wants to remind me of something.

Also, it is really hard to be mad at someone if you know you are going to pray with him. Mark always has said this,"Babe, we are standing up in the foxholes and allowing the enemy to shoot at us. Let's get down and be protected together from the evil one who is trying to destroy us." That always makes perfect sense after he says that. We NEED to pray together. We HAVE to pray together to survive the bullets that are coming our way. By the way, if you don't feel any bullets coming your way and life is rosy all the time, be very worried. You must not be any threat to the enemy and he is not wasting his time on your marriage.

If you have continued to read this far, it must mean you are serious about this stuff and I am excited. Here's is the good part. The longer you continue to do this, the more attractive you will become to your husband. He will be more deeply in love with you as the years go by. You are building your marriage on a solid foundation and not on the sandy soil. When bad things come (and they will) you will be able to withstand it together. Your roots will be deep and not shallow. I love Psalm 1:

They love the Lord’s teachings
    and think about them day and night.
3 So they grow strong,
    like a tree planted by a stream—
a tree that produces fruit when it should
    and has leaves that never fall.
Everything they do is successful.

Good grief!!! How can you not want that for your life?  But it will not happen if you choose the easy way. Psalm 1 ends by saying;

The Lord shows his people how to live

but the wicked have lost their way.

If you choose the shortcut way, you will one day wake up and find that you have lost your way. That happens in a lot of marriages. It not only happens in marriages that end in divorce, it also happens in marriages where the two decide to just stay together because it is easier. You ask yourself, why did I choose this guy? I don't like the man he has become. I don't like the woman I have become. I don't know the right way anymore. 

I think I should add that the end result is not happiness and easy lives and riches and no health problems and no rebellious teens. Again, we cannot expect this side of heaven to be heaven. But we can face tomorrow with some resilience. We can face tomorrow with a clearer vision of where to walk. We can face tomorrow with the love of our life and it does not seem so scary anymore. 

I forgot to name the main reason why this is awesome for your marriage…this quiet time together every morning is like glue!  Your minds melt together. You are on the same page. Your priorities are going to start looking alike. Your desires begin to line up with God's desires so your desires line up with your husband's desires. I can say that no other single thing in your marriage will bond you together like spending time with the Lord together. Everything else is just icing on the cake. 

Giant Step For Ruth

More in Ruth...

“One day Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for.”

‭‭Ruth‬ ‭3:1‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Naomi is actually saying Ruth to find “rest” in the home of a husband. 

“May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.”

‭‭Ruth‬ ‭1:9‬a NIV‬‬

We need to understand what Ruth is being asked to do. She has left the Moabites and their customs that she is used to. She is going to have faith in the advice that Naomi is giving her. She will throw herself at the feet of this man. 

“When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do.””

‭‭Ruth‬ ‭3:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Two points here...Naomi is leading Ruth to take a step. Naomi loved Ruth so much that she is willing to share the way to be redeemed by their nearest relative. Do I love my friends and family so much that I want to share the way to redemption? If we know that way to salvation, why don’t we share? 

Next point, Ruth is humbling herself big time! Would you follow the advice of someone that has not grown up with the same customs and belief system as you? She is giving up every single thing she has ever known that is safe and secure. She takes a giant step of faith in what Naomi is suggesting that she do. She throws herself at the feet of this man. 

““Who are you?” he asked. “I am your servant Ruth,” she said. “Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a guardian-redeemer of our family.””

‭‭Ruth‬ ‭3:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

What a gospel moment! Jesus is telling us to cover ourselves with his garments. He promises to redeem us. The rewards are too great to describe. Many of those promises will be discovered long after our life is over. 

The rewards were unspeakable for Ruth. She receives much rewards for the rest of her life. But in eternity, she will find out that she became a part of the lineage of the Savior.

 When we receive the protection and security and salvation of Christ, we won’t see all the promises this side of heaven. There will be struggles and heartache and pain this side of heaven. But we can trust that we chose the best. We chose wisely when we throw ourselves at the feet of Jesus.

Getting Old, Part 5

I keep thinking of things I need to consider to prepare for "oldness." I will be there one day. So far, I talked about forgiving myself of past mistakes, be careful of the things I file in my mind, define my idea of a life well-spent and do not allow old age to be a time of uselessness. Today I want to ponder on the people I need to forgive.

I once read a quote about the economy of forgiveness. "Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits." I believe that when we hold on to grudges again a family member, a friend, a co-worker and especially when we hold to a grudge against God, we are bankrupting our spirit. We are needlessly spending way too much time, thoughts, and energy on that person and that situation. Couldn't we all use that time, thoughts and energy on something more worthwhile than hatred?

The most foolish thing that we do is to hold onto to a grudge against God. I cannot fathom how God has disappointed you. Maybe he let you down with a death of a loved one, a financial disaster, or lack of a marriage partner. Whatever it was, you may have stayed angry with God for way too long. There are endless books written on this topic, so I cannot pretend to cover this in a brief blog. However, this I know...let go of the feeling that God let you down.

Did you realize that this is one of the three major areas of sin? In a nutshell, all of sin can be put into these three categories: Lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the pride of life. To believe that God let you down, implies that God did not provide all that you needed to live an abundant life. You "see something" with your eyes(lust of the eyes) and you are thinking that God should not withhold that from you. Eve did that and for centuries, we have been deceived into thinking that God just did not come through for us. It is time that you let go of that false belief. I know of many older people who cannot "forgive" God for holding out on them. They are bitter and angry people.

Hopefully, you are realizing that there are some types of older people that you do not want to emulate. Well, you do not have to be like that.  But you must do something about it now before you become the person you always said you would not want to be. The cement will harden one day. I am praying for whoever reads this blog that they will take some courageous steps to becoming the older person that everyone wants to be around.

Getting Older, Part 4

A big step to becoming the older person you want to be is forgiving yourself of past mistakes. Wow! That is worth stopping by this blog for a minute. What mistakes have I made in the past that I just won't let go of?  I can make myself sick by focusing on my past failures.

Start with financial issues. I would love do over some foolish mistakes in that area. I continue to beat myself up over past financial mistakes I have incurred, things I bought that I did not need at the time, listening to that guy that sold us the frozen food plan:), buying a new car when we really should have bought a used car. My list may not be your list. But we all have a list of past mistakes in the area of finances.  I can learn from them and I have learned from them.   But I cannot change them.

Next on the list of past failures is all the diets I lost interest in.  I would still fit into my wedding dress if I had stuck with the hundreds of diets I started. I cannot change the past.  I certainly can learn from the reasons or circumstances that triggered a meltdown of my diet. I can change the future in that area.

I must add to this list, the failures as a wife, parent, teacher, or friend.  I would do many things different in personal relationships.  I must forgive myself and not continually dwell on mistakes I have made with people.

I have saved the hard issues for last.  We have all made mistakes, myself included, on moral issues. I know this is a broad category.  I am talking about lying, cheating, stealing, purity issues, or anytime we displayed a complete lack of character. Without a doubt, failures in this area have changed the path we are walking on today. It is hard to forgive ourselves of outright breaches of our "code of ethics." Your standard of right and wrong may vary from mine, especially if the Bible is not your present guiding light. Nonetheless, we have all disappointed ourselves in the way we have acted.

Which brings me to the point of this blog.  I believe that the older person I will become will be shaped largely by the amount of forgiveness I allow myself.  Think about that.  I could have lived,comparatively speaking, a failure-free life.  Impossible, yes.  But for the point of this discussion, pretend that there is person who has made very few mistakes.  However, if that person continually focuses on those past failures, they would be miserable indeed. They can learn from those failures. They cannot change what they did.

I know so many people who will not forgive themselves for past mistakes.  They are imprisoned by these so-called failures. But the funny thing is that these prison doors are not locked. They are free to leave any time they choose. Did you realize that? Be kind to the older person that you will be. Forgive yourself completely. Quit dragging around the past like a weight around your ankle. Get better, not bitter about the past.

The person you are becoming(old person part 3)

I let go of this topic for a couple of weeks.  I thought I was done. Actually,  I was done with this whole blog business.  However, about 4:00 A.M. this morning I could not go back to sleep. So these are the additional thoughts on the old person I will become.

What you are dwelling on today is who you will become.  Let that thought soak in.  You are programing into your mind the things that will be in there for the rest of your life.  Mental images are finding a spot in one of your filing systems in your brain.  We are so careless with what we put in our files!

For example, the first thing that comes to my mind is the TV shows and movies that we view. My friends and family know this about me...I do not like chick flicks.  I realize that this was probably a result of allowing my husband and sons to pick the movies they wanted to see. However, it has become more than that to me. Chick flicks are more likely to  display nudity, sex scenes, and unrealistic romantic relationships. Let's face it.  The people in the movies are portrayed as the most extraordinary lovers of all time.  The guys do not forget to put out the trash, the guys always know the right thing to say, the girls go to bed with their make-up on and look amazing in any situation and to top it off...no one ever seems to go to work!

When I constantly plant those images in my mind, Mark has no hope of competing. Especially deadly is the thousands of images placed in the minds of a single person who is looking for that kind of a person to marry.  He or she does not exist because marriages are made up of real people who mess up all the time.

2 Corinthians 10:3-6

^3-6The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

The world does not fight fair. Movies and TV shows are not produced so that I will become a better person. I want to take captive the thoughts that I  allow to creep into my mind. I want to become an older person who helps to smash down warped philosophies. I want to build a life of obedience. and maturity. I am becoming what I am allowing in my mind, no matter what my outward self is doing.
True confession...the main reason that I wanted to express these thoughts is because of the flippancy of many women who planned to see Magic Mike. Comments placed on Facebook about that movie disturbed me greatly. Hear me out.  This is not the worst movie ever. I do not mean that at all. However, it represents a general trend of society that is scary. Be careful of who you are becoming. If that is girls' night out this year, what will be girls' night out ten years from now?

***This blog was written 7 years ago. Oh my goodness...I am not a prophet, but wow! Movies have definitely gotten worse.

The Person I Am Becoming, Part 2

Yesterday I published a blog about considering what kind of an older person you want to be. I wanted to continue in that vein of thought. As we grow older, many of us constantly look back over our life and give it a grade based on  how successful we think we have been.  Let's stop there for today and ponder what that really means.  When I look reflect on my past, I must admit I give it an A in some areas and a failing grade in others.

For example, I have had a rich, rewarding career in teaching. I have loved so many students! They are all my favorites.  I have taught mostly 8th graders.  I like to think that I have laughed with them, cried with them, pushed them to think out of the box, hugged them when life was crashing all around them(everyday occurrence for an 8th grader) and tried to teach them all the life lessons that they needed to survive. Probably an A in that area.  Check that off.

However, when I move to the parenting area, I tremble a little.  I grade myself very harshly in that area. I look back and think of a million things I would have done differently. I would like a do-over. Maybe I should add that my sons turned out to be the most magnificent men on the planet! But deep down, I know that I can't take any credit. The Lord did that in their lives, not me.

In the area of ministry, I tend to give it a C. Mark and I have taught Sunday School for almost the entire 41 years of our married life.  I would give it a much higher grade if we had been the janitors or the coffee servers, an area where we got absolutely no recognition.

Realize that you will do that one day.  Start the process now.  All of us would like to look back over the years and say "that was a life well spent." Notice that your definition of success will have nothing to do with money. No one on their deathbed will be wishing they had made more money. No one. Today may be the best time to redefine your definition of success. Stay focused on what is important in life. You aren't getting any younger:)

P. S. I wrote a blog called "Ordering Your World." I talked about setting goals and priorities. Check it out.
P.S.S. I do not think my spell-checker is working.  I think I am a decent speller but I do know there will be a mistake or two. Forgive!

What Kind of Old Person Do You Want To Be?

(I wrote this blog 7 years ago! I never finished the series. It's time!)

This topic has been marinating in my mind for awhile. I am about to turn 57 years old in a couple of months. I don't feel old at all!  But I want to determine what kind of person I want to become "one day" when I turn old:) I believe it is imperative to live in such a way now to safeguard the life I want to live when I am older.

 I decided to make some observations of older people that I admire. What qualities do they possess?
True confession...it was easier to think about what qualities I have observed that I do not want in my life and reverse that thinking.

Counter the idea that old age needs be a time of uselessness/retirement/atrophy. I personally hate the idea of spending your whole life serving others in a job so that you can float around on a boat and do nothing when you retire. Or walk along the beach and try new seafood recipes every night. It reeks of selfishness. No matter  how good it sounds on paper, selfishness disappoints every time. Many people have told Mark and I to have a plan for working or volunteering if we stop teaching. It is tempting to dream about "when I retire." Examine your reasons for longing for retirement.  Is it so you can be lazy or simply move into Plan B?

Along that line, many people allow their bodies to atrophy. I can't count how many older people say that they use to walk or they use to work out.  But they see old age as an excuse to "relax" more. This is a death sentence for them. At what age is it okay to wind down? If you are keeping up with my blogs, you will see that I am adding in new exercises rather than slowing down.  I made a choice(I will always struggle) to be as fit as I can be. My knee does not hurt anymore when I do Body Pump. I actually thought your knees were supposed to hurt when you got older:).  Best example I know is my husband. He is about to turn 58 this September. He is like Superman. Best shape he has ever been in his life. He refuses to get old!


Last thing to mention on this topic.  I do not, do not, do not think we are useless just because we are older.  On the contrary, I did not start writing a blog until I was older and had a little wisdom under my belt. Mark and I are starting a new adventure next Sunday with our career class. I feel like I have so much to offer a younger teacher at my school. My favorite blog to read is from my college pastor, 40 years ago. I do not know how old he is now but he is literally reeking of wisdom! I want to be more useful with every passing year. As a matter of fact, what did I even offer to others in my twenties?  I was a taker, more than a giver.

I hate long blogs so I will pick up this topic in the next few days. Maybe you young folks need to imagine what kind of "older"person you want to be. It will take a lot of planning and goal setting to become that person one day.  It will not happen on its own.

Children Are a Gift From The Lord, Not Our Property

This is a picture of God giving me a glimpse of his promises. Mark and I used to pray persistently about our sons loving God’s word. We saw no evidence that this would happen...none, whatsoever. 

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

We asked the Lord to give our boys a love for his word. That the Bible would be their bread and water. 

“Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ””

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭4:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

As I have grown older, God has gently revealed that many times Mark and I wanted to depend on legalism and not faith to raise our kids. We tried to do all the “right” things that would ensure 100% success in our sons in their walk with the Lord. We don’t have to look very hard to see some amazing Christian pastors and leaders to grieve as their children as they walk away from the Lord. 

Here is the part that puzzles me and we experienced this in our own life...when children walk away from the Lord, we scrutinize the parents and look for what they did wrong. When one of our sons rebelled for a time, someone said, “I bet you should have not back to teaching when you did.” I lived with shame for so long because there must have been some rules that I did not follow. 

Never lose sight of the fact that God calls our children! Never forget that God has plans for our children! The Holy Spirit convicts our children if they accepted Christ, not us. There are so many stories, if you are brave enough to look, for rebelling people not following godly parents in the Bible. 

I can remember this thought when I read about God hardening Pharaoh’s heart when the children of Israelites walked out of Egypt. I thought if this was one of my kids that their hearts were hardened, I will plead until God answers me to soften their heart. If I don’t see the answer until heaven, that’s how long I will plead. 

Keep in mind. No. Evidence. Whatsoever. 

But that is not the way God operates. We do not pray with the evidence sitting right before us. That is not faith. Faith is the unseen. 

Years and years later, my boys love the word. This is one of my grandsons. He has a new Bible. He wanted a real Bible, not a kid’s Bible. He is glued to it. When he becomes a teenager and perhaps lays it down for a few years, Mark and I are going to remind God,”Remember, you have trained us to fix our eyes on the unseen. We have seen how this works.” 

We are counting on the Lord and not good parents or grandparents. You probably need to count on the Lord and not your perfect parenting too.😃

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

‭‭3 John‬ ‭1:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Story of Ruth is More Than What It Seems

“But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.””

‭‭Ruth‬ ‭1:16-17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

This is a beautiful Bible verse that many people have engraved on the inside of their wedding rings.  It symbolizes the heart of two people that are making a covenant relationship with each other to never leave each other or forsake each other. Absolutely, beautiful and powerful words that let your spouse know that NOTHING will ever separate you in this life on earth. 

But there is a deeper meaning to these verses. The short version of the story... Naomi had left Bethlehem with her husband and two sons because of a famine. They moved to Moab to find food. Her two sons married Moabite women. Sadly, her husband and her two sons died. She was put in a situation where, not only was she a widow with no means of support, but her sons could not take care of her. This was one of the worst possible situations to face in those times. As a widow, she needed her sons to take care of her. Instead, she had two widowed daughter-in-laws. 

She explained to them that they should remarry in Moab and she would return to Bethlehem and find support. This is sound advice. This is a worldly way to insure that they would not starve to death. One of the daughter-in-laws took this advice. The other, Ruth, took a huge risk. She was going with her mother-in-law to Bethlehem! This verse came from her pledge to Naomi. 

Most of the Moabites followed the ancient Semitic religion like other ancient Semitic-speaking peoples, and worshiped different idols. Their chief god was Chemosh, and the Bible refers to them as the "people of Chemosh."

Ruth was walking away from the god of Moab, the only one she had ever known, and throwing her trust in the God of the Israelites. 

Best move she ever made! 

Our pastor preached a sermon on idols a couple of Sundays ago. We must search our hearts and ask ourselves the question, “Am I following the idols of America?” We are surrounded by idols...popularity on social media, financial success, decorating our house, cars, etc. Same gods that the Moabites worshiped. False gods. 

Listen to the great reward that Ruth inherited. She went out to find food. The Lord lead her to Boaz, who was a close relative. Naomi could NOT believe it. 

“Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, “Why, GOD bless that man! GOD hasn’t quite walked out on us after all! He still loves us, in bad times as well as good!” Naomi went on, “That man, Ruth, is one of our circle of covenant redeemers, a close relative of ours!””

‭‭Ruth‬ ‭2:20‬ ‭MSG‬‬

The gospel message. Boaz represented Jesus Christ, our covenant Redeemer. When Ruth threw her trust in Naomi’s god, he lead her to a covenant redeemer, who would rescue her family. But when we throw our trust in the one true God, he will lovingly lead us to Jesus Christ, our covenant redeemer. How kind is the Lord? 

No accident that the marriage of Ruth and Boaz was part of God’s greater plan. Ruth was the great grandmother of King David, who ultimately fulfilled the prophecy that Jesus would be born in Bethlehem. This story of Ruth has so many promises fulfilled, but many more to come. Never forget that the entire Bible is about Jesus...Old Testament and New Testament. Stick your head in the Old Testament and look for the gospel. Many aha moments! 

Third Alternative Thinking

I  am not sure who coined the phrase "third alternative thinking." I want to explain what it means, if case you have never heard of it before. It is a very powerful concept.

I am going to explain it using dieting terms because that is the way I am most familiar. If you don't like the size that you are, you have one choice. You can eat less calories and exercise more. You will either choose this alternative and be successful or you will not change a thing and not lose weight. Only two alternatives exist...change your habits and lose weight or don't change a thing and do not lose weight. Some people decide that there is a "third alternative." They can eat the same way and lose weight. This possibility DOES NOT EXIST. However, people pretend that it does.

I used to tell my students the same thing. If you want to improve your grades, you must make changes in your study habits. If you do not want to change, your grade will not change. Many of my students want to improve their grades, but they do not want to study more. That is third alternative thinking, which does not exist. The only two alternatives are to change your study habits(and your grade will improve) or do not change a thing(and your grade will not improve).

Do you find yourself using "third alternative thinking" sometimes? I do it all the time. I want to lose 10 pounds but I eat a slice of Friendship Bread. I say,"Oh,it won't matter." I want to save money but I buy some new clothes. I rationalize that I will just save next month. This is third alternative thinking. Unless I actively change a behavior, nothing will change.

The dangerous thing is that we apply this principal to our spiritual life. We want to be closer to the LORD, but we do not want to make any changes. We want to become prayer warriors, but we don't really want to spend any more time in prayer. We want to know what God is like, but we don't want to get up early and spend time reading the Bible. We want to live abundant, changed, joy filled lives...but we do not want to trust God with all of our trials. We want to conquer areas of sin in our lives, but we do not want to wake up everyday and put on the "full armor" of God. What are we thinking? We have got to quit living in la-la land. We need to confront what we are doing. There is no third alternative. 

So choose ...is it the easy way that cost us nothing and we gain nothing or the more difficult way that cost us something?

Jesus puts it plainly, "Deny yourself or don't claim to be following after me!" Choose life or choose death. Choose trust or choose fear. Choose to lose your life and gain the whole world or gain the whole world and lose your life. Quit making up third options that do not exist.

Keep this in mind...the painful, difficult, risky options are not chosen very much because the reward comes much later. I can't see it right away. It is not instant. When I choose eat a brownie, I get an instant reward. The painful consequence does not hit me until later when I check the scales to see if I lost a pound. If I decide not to eat the brownie, I get the painful consequence immediately. The reward will be much later.

Same with the Christian walk. If I choose to wake up early and spend time in God's word, I will suffer at that time by being very sleepy. But over time, I will get the beautiful reward of really knowing who God is. Payday is slower when you make the right choice. But the rewards are out of this world!

Is it a Sin to Overeat?

Romans 12:2 (NLT)

 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

I am attempting to examine what this verse really means. How far do we take this verse as a Christian?  Does it only apply to the "big issues" or does it apply to things like how we spend our money or what we eat for lunch?  In what ways should we be different and in what ways is it okay to blend in to the world's ways? In particular, I have been looking at food issues and how we take care of our body.  Should we look like the world in those issues or should we take a strikingly different stance?

We could look around at prominent Christian leaders and observe that they seem to look about the same as the rest of the world. Many are overweight.  Many lack the physical stamina through lack of exercise. I want to look at my own life with a critical eye and see if I am trying to not copy the behavior and customs of this world.  Because this verse implies that if I don't copy them, God can transform me into a new person by changing the way that I think.  Then I will learn that God's will for me is good and pleasing and perfect. Notice I said that I am looking at myself, not others.  When I mentioned that popular leaders are not following this standard for their life, I realize that more fingers are pointing back at me if I dare to point one finger at them.  So let's make this clear that this is about me, not anyone else.  If you see me in a fast food restaurant eating french fries, it will be obvious that I am just like everyone else:)

What are America's habits for eating?  Obviously we are missing the mark badly in this area. Take a minute to read the following article on health issues in America.

Excess body weight: A major health issue in America

For many people, the modern American lifestyle has led them to eat more unhealthy foods, eat bigger food portions, and be less physically active. As a result, the number of Americans who are overweight or obese (very overweight) has been rising. About 1 in 3 American adults is now obese, and another 1 in 3 is overweight.

Being overweight or obese can have far-reaching health consequences. According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), excess body weight increases the risk for:

• Heart disease
• Type 2 diabetes
• High blood pressure
• High cholesterol levels
• Stroke
• Liver and gallbladder disease
• Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
• Arthritis
• Abnormal menstrual periods and infertility in women
• Certain cancers

Overweight and obese people, on average, do not live as long as people who stay at a healthy body weight throughout their lives.

Not only are more adults overweight or obese, but more children are, too. Among children and teens, about 17% (or 12.5 million) are obese, a rate that has almost tripled since 1980. Some of the same health problems affecting obese adults can also affect obese children. These include heart disease risk factors such as high cholesterol levels and high blood pressure, as well as asthma, sleep apnea, type 2 diabetes, muscle and joint problems, and liver disease. Obese children and teens are also at higher risk for social and psychological problems, such as discrimination and poor self-esteem.  Obese children and teens are more likely to be obese as adults. 

How many times will we read these statistics and ignore the fact that America is growing weaker and weaker as a nation?  Can we continue to rationalize away the issue that is not only an epidemic in America, but the Christians don't look any different from the non-Christians?  No stone gets thrown at the speaker if someone points out that Christian divorce rates are the same as non-Christian divorce rates.  We are aghast and say this is wrong!  But the weight/health issue is protected somehow from debate.  It seems okay to be overweight and under-exercised.  Just a little nag of discontentment.  Just a little depression about the way we look.  But no radical alarm that this is not right.  We should enjoy health more than anyone.  God is saying, "My ways are best.  They are good.  They are perfect.  Try them and you will see." You will never hear this proclaimed from the pulpit.  Someone might be embarrassed.  

Remember "there is no condemnation in Christ...none." Period.  Never.  Just a conviction that he wants better for us than the food-addicted, stress-induced cravings, handle-depression-through-eating-ice-cream type life we are choosing.  I have said this before.  I have lived that way most of my life. However,  I am not living that way at the present time and I enjoy life a lot better than I used to.  I am seeing that his ways are really better...amazing actually:) 

Ponder this verse and see if you are conforming to the world or are you actually choosing a narrow way that very few are walking on these days.  Life doesn't have to be so miserable. God wants an abundant life for me and you.

Friends

He told Peter and the two sons of Zebedee to come with him. Then he began to be very sad and troubled. Jesus said to Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, “My heart is so heavy with grief, I feel as if I am dying. Wait here and stay awake with me.” (‭Matthew‬ ‭26‬:‭37-38‬ ERV)

I was reading a John Piper devotional last week and he used these scriptures to talk about how Jesus dealt with depression and anxiety. I was floored by the application.

Jesus was clearly hurting. He realized what was ahead. "He began to be very sad and troubled."  Have you felt that way before? How do we deal with that?

Jesus did not need these three men to deal with his pain.  Even though he was fully human, he was fully God and could call on an angelic army to bring him comfort. But he modeled a way that I can use to deal with pain or anxiety or fear or depression.

Notice that he spoke " to Peter and the two sons of Zebedee".  He called on his core group, his pit crew, his inner most circle of friends. Gracious! Who do you call on in a time of depression or fear? Who is your small group of trusted confidants? Can you name them right now? I believe that this should be a group that is totally outside your family. I adore my family. They are the best!  Our families are indispensable but they are not always the best group to gather with in a time of crisis. They are not always objective. They may not even share your beliefs. Love and cherish your family but this is not the group that Jesus was refering to.

Maybe you can't think of a group. Pray without ceasing until you get one. Invest heavily in this group with your time and unselfish acts. Love these people unconditionally because they will disappoint you at times because they are not perfect. Hopefully, they will love you unconditionally when you disappoint them when you act less than perfect.

God has blessed Mark and I with a small group of friends that attend my church. He literally "dropped" them in my lap about 15 years ago. I do not think it was coincidence that we all served together in a ministry at church. Serving with friends in a ministry is a great way to find the type of friends that Jesus was referring to. It may be one of the best ways to find this group. Join a Bible study. Can't find one? Might be time to start one so that you can meet the quality of people that you want to call your core group. My inner circle is TOP QUALITY and I thank God for bringing them into my life.

The interesting thing about my small group is that we are so radically different. My husband and I often feel like the "weak link"  in our pit crew. There have definitely been times when I needed them more than they needed me. I am incredibly thankful that they haven't kicked me out yet:). God chose women in my group with varying gifts in the body of Christ. But they all have the gift of servanthood. They open their homes to others. They don't feel like they own their possessions. On the contrary, they are much like the church in Acts. They would give anything they own to others in need. More important, they are prayer warriors. We have seen many answers to prayer in our small group. We send out a group text if a prayer need is urgent.  They will pray right at that minute. I depend on that kind of support.

Another application from this verse...be open and honest with your friends. Don't pretend around them. I have learned not to pretend that my kids are doing okay when they are in a crisis. I have learned to swallow my pride and admit that my world is crashing in around me. Only prideful people keep their problems a secret. Jesus said "My heart is so heavy with grief, I feel as if I am dying. " What if he had pretended that he could handle this crucification thing all by himself? Even though the disciples did not have the power to deliver him, he modeled for me to be transparent with my inner circle.

Often I don't feel like I fit into my small groups of friends. When I feel this way and share it with my friends, they usually remind me that I have been wandering off from the herd too much:). Staying close to the herd provides great protection from getting eaten by the predators. Jesus said "Wait here and stay awake with me.” He was showing me that "not wandering off" is the way this friendship thing works.

I am always falling more and more in love with Jesus for so many reasons. But this was a great reason to love him more. He showed me what to do in a crisis and how to call on your friends. Jesus absolutely did not need these weak, sinful guys in his time of crisis. But Jesus showed us that we DO need our small group of friends to call on in stormy times.

When We Retire

When We Retire...

See my grandsons every chance we get!!!

Make new friends, all ages!

Go bowling. 

Go hiking at Trinity Trail and eat lunch at Press 

Cafe on the trail.

Go geocaching at Trinity Trail. 

Become amateur photographers. 

Go dancing and/or take more dancing lessons. 

Go to art museums. 

Go shopping for new clothes together at least once a year. We never, ever go shopping! 

Go to a Comedy/improv place. 

Go to Fredericksburg, TX.  

Go to Washington, DC. I have gone but Mark has not.

Buy a lifetime pass(because we are over 62) to the America National Park. 

Go to the Yellowstone National Park. 

Go to Seattle. I have gone but Mark has not.

Go out to breakfast every Saturday. 

Go bird watching, maybe in our backyard. Already working on this. 

Build a fire in fireplace. We never, ever build a fire! 

Go to Cheesecake Factory once a month for desert.  This will be hard because I quit eating deserts about 7-8 years ago. 

Go to a drive-in movie.

Go to the Texas State fair. We get free tickets and NEVER go because Mark is a football coach and this is coaching season.

Go to Orange Beach in the fall. Never have gone in the fall. 

Let every Tuesday be “cook on grill.”

Rent a movie once a week.

Go to Central Market, at least once a month, to eat dinner and hear the band. 

Go to garden nursery together once a year and pick out a new plant that we can  enjoy for years to come. 

Mini trip every Saturday to a new place in Metroplex. 

Plan a picnic at River Legacy after we ride bikes. Have not ridden a bike since my shoulder injury two years ago due to fear of falling.

Buy and play a game together. 

Go to Bass Hall once a year. 

Lay down outside and look at stars.  

Go camping. 

Go to Texas Rangers game.  

Go to Botanical Garden in Fort Worth.

Build a worship playlist on Spotify to listen hear everyday.

Build a dancing playlist to practice our dancing.

Enjoy going to The Prayer Room in Arlington, weekly. 

Let every morning that the Lord gives us, be intentional to make plans that honor him that day.

Finish Strong

“That is why we never give up. Our physical body is becoming older and weaker, but our spirit inside us is made new every day. We have small troubles for a while now, but these troubles are helping us gain an eternal glory. That eternal glory is much greater than our troubles. So we think about what we cannot see, not what we see. What we see lasts only a short time, and what we cannot see will last forever.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:16-18‬ ‭ERV‬‬

This is one of my favorite set of verses. I have prayed this many times before when life seemed unbearable. So many truths are contained.

First, we must never give up! God wants us to have the perseverance in every area of our life to stay in the race! There will be many reasons to quit. There will be distractions along the roadside that look better than the race we are on. The enemy wants us to quit and will do anything to get us to quit. But for the joy set before us, it is worth staying in the race for one more step and then another and then another.

Exercise plans, finish strong. Diet plans, finish strong. Parents, finish strong in loving and giving grace to your kids. Spouses, finish strong in really loving your spouse until you meet the Lord and hear him say, "Well done." Singles, finish strong in waiting on the Lord to provide a godly helpmate. I used to tell my students all the time, "Summer will be here in a few weeks whether you finish strong or finish like a loser." I really did tell them that:):):). Same thing applies to life. You will die one day and you can finish strong like my dad or finish with so many regrets. 

Another truth that I see is that even though our physical bodies are growing older, our spiritual bodies can actually be gaining vitality and strength. That is an exciting promise to me as I am getting older. I can surely tell that my physical body is getting weaker and wearing out. But if I continue following the Lord, I can feel stronger in my spiritual walk. That is an incredible thought! However, just as we have to decide how we will take care of our physical body with good choices, we have to draw a line in the sand and commit to maintaining our spiritual growth.

I need to be reminded of the next truth on a daily basis. We will have troubles. But the troubles are helping us gain an eternal glory. A simple way to look at this is to compare this to our physical body. Last night at Body Pump, there was a difficult set of exercises and I just did not think I could raise the weights above my head one more time. I had to keep thinking "for the joy set before me, I will endure the pain." In the scheme of life, who cares if I lifted that weight to be made physically stronger but it helps me to remember that a trial and trouble can make me stronger in the spiritual world. I want to praise Him for the trial and trouble because He has an eternal plan in mind.

The main reason I prayed this verse so many times is the part about praying for the unseen. If my prayers are full of my ideas and my plans and my wisdom, than I am leaving God out of the equation. That means I am praying to myself and not the almighty, all powerful God. If my prayers are depending on my strength, why bother? I want to pray for the impossible. I want my prayers to be for eternal things that I maybe I will not see until the other side of heaven.

What we see lasts only a short time, and what we cannot see will last forever.”

Retirement Plans

Mark and I are about to enter a new season of life. It really keeps me awake at night, wondering what will Mark and I do with the rest of our life when Mark retires in 7 months. Every time I meet a married couple who are both retired, I bombard them with 20 questions.  How do you like it? Are you traveling? Are you physically active? How do you fill up the 50 plus hours that you used to spend working? Are you volunteering? Are you more involved in ministry? What are the pros and cons? 

I am the type of person that does not like to be caught off guard. If I can plan for it, I do. I like to set goals.

 However, I do NOT want to treat retirement like the world. My favorite verse has always been.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2 NIV

For this reason, I am intentional about seeing what the world does and trying to go in the other direction. The world sees retirement as a time to sit down and relax. The world sees retirement as becoming less active, slowing down. The world fills up the extra time as endless TV watching(I am not a TV watcher so I don’t think I will become one). I have observed that some retired folks become a little more isolated because it is just easier to stay home. And some people become bored of the whole thing and go find a part time job. 

I am not judging in the least about what people do when the hours of work are no longer required. Unless I’m careful, I won’t look any different from the world. I struggle greatly with this dilemma. 

I can remember back in college trying to discern “what is God’s will?” What was his will for my job, for my future spouse, for my place to live? I learned that the Bible was absolutely packed with things to be followed in obedience and if I spent the rest of my life reading and following them, I would be in his will. 

Without a doubt, the very best decision I can make to plan the rest of my life is to continue the things that I already know to be truth. 

“They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.”

‭‭John‬ ‭17:16-19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

The most wonderful thing about these verses is that Jesus prayed them to the Father about me personally. Jesus sits at the right hand and is interceding for me. He wants me to be sanctified in truth. He wants me put right where I am, not of the world, but sent into the world. He knows that Mark and I will be entering a new season of new adventures and I don’t have to fear boredom or inactivity or not being used any longer. 

Psalms 139:15-16 says,

“You could see my bones grow as my body took shape,

hidden in my mother’s womb.

You watched my body grow there.

In your book you wrote about all the days planned for me

before any of them had happened.”(ERV) 

Just as God planned my childhood, my marriage, my job, my parenting...he has planned my days of this new season of life. 

Tomorrow I will share by bucket list that I have come up with for retirement.