Ode to My Daughter-in-Laws

I was reading Proverbs 31 the other day for the millionth time. Usually I try to squeeze out any little morsel of wisdom that I want to apply to my life. However, this time, I read it through different eyes. I thought about my sweet daughter-in-laws and was amazed at the resemblance.
Mark and I prayed for godly wives for our sons for years! By the way, we also asked for our sons to be in love with the Bible and live by its wisdom as if their life depended on it. We cared more about their hearts than we cared about their grades, their athletic successes, their popularity, etc. God answered a huge prayer request. Both of our sons got married this past year!
I want to devote a blog to telling you about the precious girls that they married.
Luke is married to Cherish.


Ben is married to Lynn.

Are they adorable or what?

Proverbs 31 says that if "you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems." Both of our sons found a truly good wife.

"Her husband can trust her and she will richly satisfy his needs."
Wow! Ben and Luke trust their wives and know that they will be faithful to them and will delight them through the years with their adorable personalities.

"She will not hinder him, but will help him all of her life." Understatement!!! Lynn and Cherish are more devoted to my sons'success than they are their own.

"She buys wool and flax and busily spins it." I realize that they do not buy much wool or flax, but I love the way these amazing women have taken care of their homes and made it a nice place to come home to.

"She is energetic and a hard worker." Both Lynn and Cherish work 40 hours a week, are very active in their ministries at church and manage to cook, do laundry and keep their home clean. Wow!

"She sews for the poor and generously helps those in need." Lynn was recently involved in The Houston Project. She went out every night for a week and shared the gospel to those in need. Read all about it on her blog. Cherish provided peanut butter cookies and drinks to the men who stand on Cooper Street waiting on a daily job. Both of these godly women have a compassionate heart for the poor.They live it on a daily basis.

"She is a woman of strength and dignity." I love the way my sweet daughter-in-laws dress and conduct themselves with dignity. They have an inner strength that comes from the LORD.

"When she speaks, her words are wise and kindness is the rule for everything she says." I love to hear what Lynn and Cherish have to say. Because they study the Bible on a daily basis, they speak truth and wisdom. I know that there are many girls that would not pass the next test...being kind. Girls can be downright mean at times. I have NEVER heard Lynn or Cherish gossip or make hateful comments about others. People that know them would characterize them as incredibly sweet natured.

"Her children stand and bless her and so does her husband, He praises her with these words.There are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all."
I am anxious to say that my future grandchildren will stand and bless their moms! However, I know that my sons feel that they have been given a gift from God.
Their In-laws think that they are beautiful, clever, and wise beyond their years. They have brought joy and happiness to our sons. I am so thankful that God wisely chose these girls to marry our sons.

Empty Stables

I have always loved this verse from Proverbs 14. "An empty stable stays clean...but there is no income from an empty stable." It is such a simple concept and yet it speaks to each of us in different ways.
For example, my empty stable could be my home. I have always thought that God is interested in the place that we chose to live. We prayed much over the choice of buying a home when we moved to Texas and know that this particular house was the right choice for us. We have made many changes but one thing has not changed, it is a home for God's use and not ours. If we did not open our home to guests, our carpet would not be stained, our furniture would not sag in the middle, and there would be no scratches on our wood floor. In other words, our empty stable would be clean. But we would miss the harvest that follows. We would miss the opportunity to invest. The whole point of a stable is to provide housing for animals. The whole point of our possessions is to provide things that God can use. How foolish to long for an empty, clean stable that no one has "messed up" or "used up."
For some folks the empty stable could be our calendar. It is a thrill to see more free time in our busy lives. I am not saying that we do not need a time to relax and replenish. I am saying that it is tempting to look at a calendar and want to hoard the time for our own pursuits...our own amusements.
I heard a speaker say that we need to invest our days and not spend our days. I am guilty of spending my day recklessly and not investing my day into things that will count for eternity. Our churches are filled with people that spend their time on themselves and do not invest their time in service. The empty stable to them is a clean calendar, but when there is no messy acts of service(and service does get messy) there is also no eternal rewards. The point of our time is investing in eternal things and not an empty calendar to spend on our time on ourselves. "Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should."
The saddest empty stable is the empty heart. Many people do not take the risk of giving away our heart. It seems safer to keep our distance. We throw ourselves into our jobs, our recreation, or our next meal. We go to great lengths to shield ourselves from pain. But an empty heart yields no income. I realize that getting my heart filled up will be messy and scary. But the income will be worth the mess that is created.
The next time you are tempted to take the safe way of an empty stable, reconsider. An empty stable yields no income, no rewards.

Above All Else, Guard Your Affections!

"Above all else, guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life." Proverbs 4:23
Strong words from King Solomon. I think it is worth spending some time, thinking more about this topic if it is going to influence EVERYTHING else in our life. For the sake of simplicity, let's think of the word affections as obsessions. Ask yourself "What are you obsessed with?" What do you spend the most time thinking about? Many things come to mind.It could be your current boyfriend or girlfriend. Other obsessions include money, possessions, eating, appearance, drugs, alcohol,video games, sex,or even sleep. Some of these in itself are not bad things. However, you can take each area and easily see how an unhealthy obsession in any of these areas can truly influence everything else in your life. Before reading anything else, think about what is your main area of obsession? Be honest.
Next, ask yourself this question...are you secretive about this affection or obsession? Remember to fear areas of your life where you are wanting to keep secrets. I am not advocating to post an ad in The New York Times and confess your sins. However, infections, wounds, injuries must be brought into the open to heal. Sometimes a cut that did not heal properly must be cut open again and cleaned up in order to heal. Always, a red light should go off if you are wanting to do things in secret.Satan is the ruler of darkness, not light.
I want to stop and give an example in my own life. I will look foolish and uncool, but I am fairly sure that I am already foolish and uncool. One of my strongholds is eating too much, which leads to obsessing over my appearance which leads to low self-esteem, which affects my ministry, etc. Satan always seems to spiral our problems. However, this enforces the idea of that our affections always influence our life in many other areas.
Also, overweight people tend to eat stuff in "secret." We would not want to be seen eating a handful of cookies. Get the point?
Let's say that you have identified your area(you may have more than one) and you have observed that you tend to keep it secret, but that you want to change. What would your next step be? Obviously, you need to bring it before the Lord. We cannot change ourselves, no matter how hard we try. He can change us because he is almighty God.
I do believe that one of the first things you need to do after confessing to God, is find a person to be accountable to. Accountability is a powerful tool. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, it talks about how "two can accomplish more than twice as much as one." It goes on to say that"if a man falls when he is alone, who will pull him up?" Our older son, Ben, met with an accountability partner every single week, all through college. They committed themselves that they would not miss this important time. Back to my eating problem. I joined a "fat class" about 6 years ago and I am committed to it. I don't miss. Losing weight affected so many other areas of my life in a positive way.
Observe what the world is obsessed with and choose the opposite. The world sets it heart on power, I want to seek lowliness.The world sets its goal on outer beauty, I want to go inward. the world says to hoard your money for yourself, I want to give it away.The world says do not deny yourself anything. Jesus says, "Deny yourself and follow me." Eat when you want to, whatever you want. I want to eat in moderation. Have sex when you want...do not wait for marriage. Hmmn, bad idea. Have an abortion when you want...it is your right.
Have you ever noticed how people who are in favor of abortions think that they are non-conformists? In reality, they are simply following the crowd. That is why the verse at the top of blog is my all-time favorite. "Do not be conformed to this world!!!" The most wonderful thing happens when we do not conform to this world. We become transformed by the renewing of our minds. We prove that God's ways are perfect! Guard your heart above all else.

My Next Blog

I cannot understand how I can be off for the summer and be busier than during the school year. Days go by and I have no time to be on the computer. However, I have some more stuff to share about "guarding our affections" and I have already outlined it in my mind. I will post a blog tomorrow NO MATTER WHAT. I guess I am just telling that to myself because I do not think that anyone is checking this site everyday just to see if I added a new blog:):):) But just in case my sister,Pam, is checking everyday...I will post again tomorrow.

More pictures

I "cheated" a little here. This picture was not actually from the cookout. This was another college party at our house. I just wanted a picture of John, Steven and Kent somewhere on this blog.

This is a picture of our fearless leader, James Myers.

Jason is wearing Mark's swimsuit.

Pool volleyball was a big hit.

More pool volleyball.

More party people.

Grant's birthday was the same day of the party so we celebrated.

My good friend, Jake Kaylor, showed me how to do pictures on my blog. I knew how to add them...I just did not know how to arange them. I look forward to school starting again because I eat lunch with Jake everyday. His wife's blog is under "favorite blogging friends."

College Cookout

I wanted to show off some of my favorite people...my college kids! We had a cookout for July 4th and over 60 people came. This is Albert and I. He makes me look better in a picture.

Austin is actually not in college but we let him slip in to the cookout because he is so adorable.

This is R.B., Rod and Leigh Bryant, Bruce Scharnhorst, his daughter LaRae and Charlie Anderson sitting by the pool talking. Some of my favorite people in the world!


Morgan and Corey are new college freshman.


As are Nicole,Allyson, and Elizabeth.

Michelle, Travis and Seth are hanging out.



Elizabeth is a fantastic pool volleyball player. Kaycee supplies all my summer reading material.


Kaylee and Matt are eating desert in the kitchen.







In case you can't tell, I think I am the luckiest person alive to be able to hang out with such incredible people. I believe that God has his hand on this group of students and to watch him work in their lives in nothing short of amazing!

Guard Your Affections

The cliff hanger of my last blog was "sex." Before you write this topic off and say that you are married, female, older, whatever... I want you to know that the principals of this topic apply to anyone.Since I am writing mainly to my college group(that I love dearly), I wanted to choose a topic that 18-25 year old students may battle with.
In July, I read and meditate on the book of Proverbs. Remember that June is Psalms month. August and September are the books of the prophets. Then...October I finally reach the New Testament! It is my reward for staying the course all year.
Anyway, the book of Proverbs is the most readable book for Christians and non-Christians alike. No one I have ever met comes even close to the wise counsel found in the book of Proverbs. In the Proverbs 4:20-22, it says, "Listen, son of mine, to what I say. Listen carefully. Keep these thoughts ever in your mind; let them penetrate deep within your heart, for they mean real life for you, and radiant health." I don't know about you but I want real life. I want the most exciting life I can have. I don't want to miss a thing. If you are interested, keep reading.
Verse 23 goes on to say, "Above all else guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life!" I want to elaborate on that topic at a later blog, but for today I will apply this wisdom only to our affections regarding the opposite sex.
I heard a great message a few weeks ago at Ben and Lynn's church, FBC Houston. Greg Mott stated that when he works with college students, he assumes a problem with pornography. This is where I will lose some of you but hang in there. The ongoing obsession with pornography in our world today is not new. It is as old as the Proverbs. Solomon wants his son to "guard his affections." Solomon saw first hand the devastating consequences of not guarding one's affections. His father, King David, committed adultery with Bathsheba, his brother Prince Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar, and his brother Absalom slept on the rooftop with every one of his father's wives to shame his father. He had first hand knowledge of the result of not guarding your affections!
Solomon knew that to live a "real life" filled to the brim with God's blessings, to impact countless lives, to walk in freedom from guilt, to possess power to change the world around you...you must guard your affections like you would guard a truck from Fort Knox filled with gold bars. The strength of a man is the ability to control his passions. A weak man is one who does not deny himself anything his body craves. That is not the mark of a free man. That is Satan's lie.Satan will tempt you to give in and when you do, he will be your biggest accuser! How wrong is that? He lures you and then condemns you.
This message applies to girls as well. Being a female, I know that our heart craves attention and we want attention no matter what it costs us. When we dress in a seductive manner, we aren't fooling anyone but ourselves. When we post pictures of ourselves on Facebook,our motives are clear. We want attention, even inappropriate attention. Girls, do not think you are not kidding anyone. You dress yourself. No one chooses what you were. You intentionally plan what message you want to send by what you wear and what pictures you post. Proverbs is warning you that your choices influence everything else in your life. Your choices influence the marriage you will have.
Always remember that your knight in shining armour is the Lord. He rescues you, redeems you, tells you your worth, adores you, thinks you are beautiful..you don't need to impress him with your outward appearance. He is more interested in your heart. Delight yourself in him and he will give you the desires of your heart.
After being married for 30 years to a guy, I still haven't a clue about guys. I am not pretending to understand a guy's heart. However, the Bible says that the "heart is deceitful above all else." To blindly follow your affections and allow yourself to indulge in whatever behavior you feel called to participate is deceitful. You are deceived by the great deceiver and he will not rescue you when you fall. He only condemns.
This blog is not meant to add to your guilt. It is to shed light on schemes of the enemy. Greg Mott also said in his message, "Be afraid of the dark!" Be very afraid of staying in the dark with your computer, staying in the dark about what your intentions are about your way of dressing, girls! Get it out in the light. Expose it to the "Sonlight." Get some accountability. However, refuse, absolutely refuse to lay down in guilt when Satan condemns you. He wants you to believe that there is not a cure for your sickness. "In Christ there is no condemnation." He only comes "to give life and give it abundantly. " Wow, thank goodness that real life is not about my power but His power.

God's Favorite Child

In this blog, I want to throw out some ideas that I have been struggling with concerning my value in God's eyes balanced with my selfish nature and my desire to "be valued." I have pointed out how dangerous it is to form your own views of God as opposed to searching the scriptures to see who he really is. There are so many verses to make the case for how precious we are in God's sight. For example, in Psalms 90:13, "For he orders his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will steady you with their hands to keep you from stumbling against the rocks on the trail." (TLB) That one is pretty cool. In Psalms 84:11, "No good thing will he withhold from those who walk along his paths." "You are my mighty protector" or "You are the lifter of my head." I could go on for days to support the idea that God values us more than we can comprehend.
However, if that is all I know then my prayers will reflect only that knowledge. Listen to yourself when you pray. Do you prayers consist of only petitions? I have noticed this in my own prayers lately. I sound like a spoiled child. During the month of June, I read and meditate on the book of Psalms. It is impossible to read the Psalms and not bow lower and lower and want to close my mouth and simply sit in awe of God's majesty. My prayers begin to change. I spend most of the time talking about how mighty and matchless and limitless God is.
Imagine it like this. If you have a great relationship with your earthly father this will be easier to imagine. Picture yourself talking with your dad and making a request known to him. If it is a something that he can easily afford and will not harm you, you feel confident in asking. I am going to twist it a little here. What if you have a lot of siblings and your dad is very wealthy? There will be a temptation to get jealous of what the other siblings receive. You will want everything to be totally fair and you may end up whining if they are not fair to each sibling. It would be easy to be very self-centered and ask for many things that you don't really need just because you know your dad can afford it and your sibling received the same things.
That is the part I am struggling with right now. When I look around at what my friends have, it is easy to become a little perturbed at God because I think I need the same thing that they have received. After all, I am valued. I am God's favorite, aren't I? I am not merely talking about material things. If one of your friends has what you perceive as a great marriage or an enviable dating relationship, then you are mad at God because he has not given you the same thing. If another friend has been given recognition or talents that are applauded and you think that you have been given lesser gifts, you may be a little jealous.When you have a friend who son is valedictorian and your child is in resource math, you may wonder why they have been more in God's favor. If your family is struck with cancer, you can't help but question God and wonder why you are not being blessed with good health. These are heart-wrenching questions. And the temptation may be to focus more on my attributes and how I am "worthy" rather than simply focus more on God's attributes and how he is worthy.
Back to my prayers...I think that I need to spend much of my time praising God for his many attributes that simply boggle my mind. I need to meditate on the "relationship" with my heavenly father rather than the "resources" that my father can provide. Go back to the human relationship I mentioned earlier. If my sons came over and just wanted to be with us, ask for wisdom, laugh with us, let us bless them with every good thing we can...we would have a healthier relationship than if they saw us as a Santa Claus, giver of wishes. Don't miss the obvious here. Yes, we are valued by God more than we could comprehend, more than any earthly parent could ever value a child. But the focus has to be on God and not us. Be honest with yourself. You are self-centered! In my 8th grade math class, my name is said one hundred times an hour. My students want my attention right then and now when they need help, when they have a question and they do not want to wait on me to finish helping another student. I often say in frustration, "Do I look like I am sitting at my desk, drink a cup of cappuccino? Let me finish helping this student."
Listen to your prayers. Do they sound like that? Do you sound like a selfish child who gets right to the point? "I want this because they have this!" When I spend time praising God and mentioning all the things I love about him...I almost forget to ask him for anything. And when I do ask him, I feel confident that I am asking a father who can do anything he chooses, who can afford anything I ask for, who can always give me way more than I ask for. It is a subtle change but a necessary change so that we can enjoy the relationship God wants to have with his precious child.
Cliff-hanger...I want to talk about sex. Thought that would get your attention. Later, gator!