"Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?" Luke 9:23-25
"What good would it do to get everything you want and lose yourself?" What is on your list of "everything you want?" My list would probably include some material things, comfort, lack of stress, not a lot demanded of me, getting fed instead of feeding, etc. There is something attractive about having a life of no responsibilities and yet having all the privileges. My personality definitely wants to lead. I love to be in charge. I love to be the center of attention, to hold the microphone. That would be on my list. However, Jesus is telling me that if I put myself in front of him that I could lose something very valuable...myself. It does not make sense, if you think about it from a worldly view. Shouldn't we fight for our rights, our way, our wants?
Jesus is spelling out the exact opposite of my desire. He wants to lead. He wants to be in the driver's seat. He wants me to embrace suffering. Suffering? Are you kidding? Who put suffering on their list of goals for their life? He has also stated here that it would not be good or desirable to get everything I want.
What does this mean to us? If I am not sure, he says he would "show me how." So I am asking him to show me.
After several days of dwelling on this, I realized that it is exactly like my students at school. They want to be in charge. They do not want to suffer to learn a new concept. If they had their way, they would come in everyday and visit and never do any work. However, as their teacher, I know what is best for them. I must lead them. I must be in charge. I must allow them to suffer, if they are going to grow in their knowledge of math. Some student kick and scream all the way and refuse to accept my leading. Others, the majority, achieve a happy medium of obeying me, following a few rules and making great strides of growth. A small percentage actually love to learn and are willing to pay any price to understand the concepts. Those kids are not in it for the A. They are in it for total understanding.
I see myself, at different times of my life, in each of those categories. Before accepting Christ, a person is kicking and screaming and refuses to lay down their so-called freedom. They actually believe that by holding on so tightly to their version of truth, they are gaining somehow. In reality, they are losing everything. The only way to gain life is to lose it.
However, the second category is where I like to reside. I want the A, but I don't want to suffer much. I want it to come easy. I want to find a shortcut. I want to follow a few rules and that's it.
The third category is my life long goal.
