How do we begin in this process? Believe it or not, I start the second semester of each school year by teaching this process to my 8th graders. This is precisely what I tell them to do.
First of all, I ask them to decide what changes are needed to be made in their life. I do not decide those changes for them, no matter what faults I may observe in their lives. It would be tempting to ask a student with terrible study skills or faulty organizational skills to set those areas as their goals. But I will not do that ever. To make a goal for yourself must be something that YOU choose. You must be ready to tackle that area of your life. If someone nags you to make a change and you are not ready, pick another goal. That may be "cutting off your nose to spite your face" simply because it may really be a change you need to make. However, you want to make that change for you and no one else.
I ask them to make about 5 goals. I do not want them to make all grade related goals just because this is a homework assignment. Many times, the other goals they need to make could enhance their grade issues. For example, they might have a bad habit of staying up too late because they are on the phone or computer. A better goal would be to get more sleep. That would in turn translate to better grades. If your goal is to be more productive or have a more peaceful morning, you may need to turn off the TV or computer and get more sleep.
I always ask them to make relationship goals. I make suggestions like…be more obedient to your parents or be a better friend. I also suggest that they make a goal related to any sports or hobbies. When they make a serious goal like improving in a sport they love, that transfers over into every other area of life. On the flip side, if they are not motivated to making a goal pertaining to an enjoyable activity then they are way too complacent in other areas of life.
After they have chosen about 5 goals, I ask them to make them extremely specific. They are not allowed to say, "I want to make better grades next semester." This is the kid equivalent of saying, "I want to lose weight." If that is your goal, forget about reaching it. It is not specific enough. You need to say something like, "I want to eat more protein, more vegetables, drink more water, eat no more than one bad snack a week, keep a food log, add exercise 5 times a week, have a meal replacement once a day, etc. You get the idea. You can get even more specific and specify how many fruits and vegetables you will have per day and what exercises will you be doing and what time will that be. The more specific, the greater the chance you will reach your goal.
I ask them to write a plan about how they will reach that goal. Sometimes their goal is(believe it or not) "I want to have a better relationship with my parents." I teach AMAZING kids! Their plan could be to help set the table every night or clean up the dishes or sit with them for at least 15 minutes at the end of the school day and ask them about their day. Can you see how exciting this is to read these goals? Some of my students set goals about volunteer work. I actually encourage this if they are willing. Their goal may be simply to visit a homeless shelter or babysit children at a woman's domestic violence shelter…at least once. I encourage them to take very small steps because they may be scared to begin but they want to be a world changer and don't know how to start. One time and they are hooked for life!
Last step I ask them to do is find accountability partner. Unless we are willing to put ourselves and our goals out in the open, we are probably not going to succeed. We are not made that way. I shock them when I say that their parents or their teachers would not be a good accountability partner. We have too much invested in their goals and cannot be objective. I ask them to choose a dependable friend. However, the success will not depend on that friend. Their success will depend on them. The friend just has to ask them, at agreed on intervals, "How are you doing?" I tell the student that they must start off from day one being honest when they mess up. Do not waste the person's time by lying to them about your progress. Hopefully, your accountability partner will be encouraging but will not be devastated by your failures. You will feel badly enough. NEVER ask your spouse to be your accountability partner for that reason. They have too much invested in your success and cannot be objective. They are there to simply be proud of your success and love you anyway. You will feel terrible when you disappoint them. Just take my advice, don't ask your spouse.
They have to email me their goals for a homework grade:). I usually email them back a copy of their goals at the end of the school year and wish them continued blessings on their life. I would recommend that you pick someone to email your goals, preferably more than one person. If you keep this a secret, you are probably planning to fail and don't want to lose face. Just do it. Email someone.
Your only regret will be why didn't you do this sooner. Good luck!
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