Marriage advice: Pray together

I have a cool statistic for you! Research shows that 1/2 Christian couples divorce which is shocking and terrible but when you research the couples who pray together 3-4 times a week that statistic changes from 1/2 to 1/1552! Prayer is SO IMPORTANT! Mrs. Cooper, you told us that on Sunday!

(This is a quote from one of my newly engaged young adults.)

Luke and Cherish Wedding Vows

I found this in an old file.  Luke and Cherish were married almost 5 years ago!  So thankful for what God is doing in their life.  Check out their adventures!
http://us5.campaign-archive1.com/?u=ebb22ab873ad73dc8cd203639&id=eb32c0a8ee&e=

Luke & Cherish Cooper’s

Wedding Vows

I promise to love first God and you second…

To lead with wisdom and the fear of the Lord

To serve patiently and listen with an open heart

To rebuke the devil and protect you with my life

To correct you gently with meekness

To forgive all your sins: past, present, and future

To stay committed to you

And to praise God no matter what

Until the seventh trumpet blows and Jesus returns!

My sons both love their wives!!! I am so thankful for them.

How much did Jesus forgive you for?

"How can I account for the people of this generation? They're like spoiled children complaining to their parents, 'We wanted to skip rope and you were always too tired; we wanted to talk but you were always too busy.' John the Baptizer came fasting and you called him crazy. The Son of Man came feasting and you called him a lush. Opinion polls don't count for much, do they? The proof of the pudding is in the eating." One of the Pharisees asked him over for a meal. He went to the Pharisee's house and sat down at the dinner table. Just then a woman of the village, the town harlot, having learned that Jesus was a guest in the home of the Pharisee, came with a bottle of very expensive perfume and stood at his feet, weeping, raining tears on his feet. Letting down her hair, she dried his feet, kissed them, and anointed them with the perfume. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man was the prophet I thought he was, he would have known what kind of woman this is who is falling all over him." Jesus said to him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Oh? Tell me." "Two men were in debt to a banker. One owed five hundred silver pieces, the other fifty. Neither of them could pay up, and so the banker canceled both debts. Which of the two would be more grateful?" Simon answered, "I suppose the one who was forgiven the most."
"That's right," said Jesus. Then turning to the woman, but speaking to Simon, he said, "Do you see this woman? I came to your home; you provided no water for my feet, but she rained tears on my feet and dried them with her hair. You gave me no greeting, but from the time I arrived she hasn't quit kissing my feet. You provided nothing for freshening up, but she has soothed my feet with perfume. Impressive, isn't it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal." (Luke 7:31, 36, 40, 41, 43 MSG)
How many sins did Jesus forgive you for? How thankful are you?

This is part five of the series "Power of a Focused Life." If you are just now reading the blog, you may want to go back and read parts 1-4.  I suggested on my last blog that you should keep a time log of all your activities for one week.  I have already done this last year and I discovered some interesting things about my use of time.

First of all, I did not spend nearly the time that I thought I did with the important people in my life. My relationship category was the smallest sliver of time in the particular week that I logged my activities.  I was shocked to see how little time I spent with the "love of my life." Red flag! One of my goals was to continue to develop my relationship with Mark. That takes time and I was not giving it many moments. Interestingly enough, I thought about this past week.  The same statistic held true.  Mark and I were like passing ships."

Secondly, I needed more rest.  I consistently got less than 8 hours of sleep every night, even though my intentions were good. I always vowed that the next night would be better. Lack of sleep feeds depression/anxiety issues in our lives.  Lack of sleep usually leads to excuses about having a quiet time the next morning. Lack of sleep also causes weight gain.  Yikes!  Mark always reminds me of a Vince Lombardi quote, "Fatigue makes cowards of us all."  I make terrible decisions when I am tired. Goals get thrown out the window. 

Lastly, and more importantly, the second largest category, aside from sleeping was...unaccounted for time.  Hmmn. I realize that you cannot account for every minute of everyday.  However, I think a bigger issue was at play.  I believe that I was wasting a lot of time.  I did not log Facebook time, Twitter time, sitting on the back porch time, etc.  There is not a thing wrong with having some unaccounted time. However, consider the words of Paul to the city of Ephesus:

Ephesians 5:15-17
"So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do." 

God created us to live like wise men, not foolish men. Foolish men spend hours on the News Feed of Facebook. Foolish men spend hours watching TV. Aggressive use of time will be needed is we are to accomplish all that God has planned for us. If we truly believe that we have lots of time to waste, we have decided that God did not plan very much for our life; that we are certainly not particularly valuable for the kingdom. Reread that last statement. Do you really want to shortchange yourself like that? Do you honestly believe  that God has big plans for others but not for you? To say "no" to things that are not in your life's vision is a wise thing.  To say "no" to things just because you want more free time is foolish.

Unscheduled time is usually made up of "good things" but not the "best things." Powerful essay by Charles Hummel on "The Tyranny of the Urgent"  talks about this very issue.  We let the other people crowd out the important things with their urgent agenda for us. Check out this essay.
http://my279days.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Tyranny-of-the-Urgent.pdf

Want to make a change, but feel overwhelmed? Get a plan.  Start by keeping the plan 50% the first week, then increase to 60% the next week, and so on.  You won't ever hit a 100%.  Interruptions are an important part of God's plan for you.  Jesus was walking on his way to heal the daughter of a very important man, a leader in the synagogue. He was stopped, interrupted we would say, by a woman who had internal bleeding for most of her life. Why would Jesus stop on the way to gain "name recognition" by healing the  the synagogue's daughter? Because he knew when to say "yes" and when to say "no." He knew when to throw his calendar out the window and when to keep his schedule.

Have you ever faced the challenge and the joy of planning your own hours?  Have you spent your life letting others plan your time for you?  Your boss? Your family? Your ministry at church? When will you begin to plan your schedule? Satan would like nothing more than for you to have a "pretty good life"  but not a "powerful life." Say "no" to a TV show this week and spend that time writing down a plan for how you would like to spend your time.  Or continue in the path you are on, promising yourself that you will "do this next week or this weekend or next summer" and tell our beautiful Creator that the TV show was more important somehow than living the abundant life he had wanted for you.

Important blog coming up.  If you kept a time log this past week,
I will discuss how to use your time
better next week. Even if you did not keep a log...check it out.

How to Maintain a Consistent Quiet Time

In John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. "

We read promises like this and we ask ourselves, "why do some people seem to enjoy a full life and I am plagued with doubts and setbacks?"  

This is similar to asking ourselves the question, "why am I overweight and out of shape?"  How are you fueling your body? What foods are going into your mouth on a consistent basis?  What exercises are you performing on a daily basis?  You know before asking those questions that the way you feed your body is the secret to your health issues. 

How do you feed your spiritual life?  Do you hunger and thirst for God's word?  Just like in the area of food, you can be so full of junk that you are not hungry for the healthier choices that your body needs. If you never eat fruits and vegetables, you do not have a taste for fruits and vegetables.  

Let's establish that many Christians really want to have a consistent quiet time spent with the Lord.  However, they just can't seem to be able to develop this habit in their own life. I want to humbly offer some ideas for beginning and maintaining a quiet time. 


Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.

You are probably wondering why I am using a Vince Lombardi quote about football right here.  Why is it that no one questions that success in the sports arena require perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority? But in the spiritual realm, we expect the abundant life without the same commitments. 

Okay, let's say that you are convinced that a change is needed. Let's agree that it is the most important thing that you can do. How do you begin? You need three W's.  When, Where and What.

When:  If someone walked up to you and asked you when is your quiet time, can you immediately answer? What Mark and I decided many years ago is a simple way to accomplish this. It is the first thing we do before___.  Fill in the blank.  We do this before we go to work.  I do not have a choice about going to work.  But before I go to work, I will spend at least 30 minutes studying the Bible and praying. On Saturdays, I will spend time feeding my soul before I exercise, eat breakfast, go shopping, etc.  Typically, on a work day, we will set our alarm based on how long would it take to get ready AND have a quiet time before we leave for work. Just add thirty minutes to the time it takes you to get ready.  You may already be thinking "I would have to go to bed earlier if I am going to wake up earlier." Yep, that has to be part of the plan. 

Where:  When I look at my love seat that faces my backyard, I equate that place as my place where I meet with God every morning.  When you know the location of your Bible study/prayer time, you will have everything you need nearby.  You will not have to search for your Bible, pen, paper, etc. In addition, you immediately settle in to the routine because your mind associates this as a special place. Notice that the place does not have to be fancy.  It is your spot!

What:  You can have a consistent time and place and still falter.  The "what" is a key component.  You need to decide what you will be doing during your time of study. Just like in the physical world, you could waste a lot of time trying to decide what exercises you will do in the gym. Or you could just "pre-decide." I am absolutely not suggesting that you take out the leading of the Holy Spirit in what scripture to study.  But to ensure your success in the beginning stages, I would decide ahead of time that you will be studying the book of John or The New Testament or the study of marriage. I spent the first 40 years, reading through the entire Bible each year.  Talk about stick-in-the-mud issues:).  When something works for Mark and I, we stick with it!

Take what you like from this blog.  Don't be legalistic.  You are not doing this to check a box or to earn God's favor. You are doing this to be connected to the living vine. Your health depends on it. Your life depends on it. 

How to Maintain a Consistent Quiet Time.

In John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. "
We read promises like this and we ask ourselves, "why do some people seem to enjoy a full life and I am plagued with doubts and setbacks?"  

This is similar to asking ourselves the question, "why am I overweight and out of shape?"  How are you fueling your body? What foods are going into your mouth on a consistent basis?  What exercises are you performing on a daily basis?  You know before asking those questions that the way you feed your body is the secret to your health issues. 

How do you feed your spiritual life?  Do you hunger and thirst for God's word?  Just like in the area of food, you can be so full of junk that you are not hungry for the healthier choices that your body needs. If you never eat fruits and vegetables, you do not have a taste for fruits and vegetables.  

Let's establish that many Christians really want to have a consistent quiet time spent with the Lord.  However, they just can't seem to be able to develop this habit in their own life. I want to humbly offer some ideas for beginning and maintaining a quiet time. 


Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.

You are probably wondering why I am using a Vince Lombardi quote about football right here.  Why is it that no one questions that success in the sports arena require perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority? But in the spiritual realm, we expect the abundant life without the same commitments. 

Okay, let's say that you are convinced that a change is needed. Let's agree that it is the most important thing that you can do. How do you begin? You need three W's.  When, Where and What.

When:  If someone walked up to you and asked you when is your quiet time, can you immediately answer? What Mark and I decided many years ago is a simple way to accomplish this. It is the first thing we do before___.  Fill in the blank.  We do this before we go to work.  I do not have a choice about going to work.  But before I go to work, I will spend at least 30 minutes studying the Bible and praying. On Saturdays, I will spend time feeding my soul before I exercise, eat breakfast, go shopping, etc.  Typically, on a work day, we will set our alarm based on how long would it take to get ready AND have a quiet time before we leave for work. Just add thirty minutes to the time it takes you to get ready.  You may already be thinking "I would have to go to bed earlier if I am going to wake up earlier." Yep, that has to be part of the plan. 

Where:  When I look at my love seat that faces my backyard, I equate that place as my place where I meet with God every morning.  When you know the location of your Bible study/prayer time, you will have everything you need nearby.  You will not have to search for your Bible, pen, paper, etc. In addition, you immediately settle in to the routine because your mind associates this as a special place. Notice that the place does not have to be fancy.  It is your spot!

What:  You can have a consistent time and place and still falter.  The "what" is a key component.  You need to decide what you will be doing during your time of study. Just like in the physical world, you could waste a lot of time trying to decide what exercises you will do in the gym. Or you could just "pre-decide." I am absolutely not suggesting that you take out the leading of the Holy Spirit in what scripture to study.  But to ensure your success in the beginning stages, I would decide ahead of time that you will be studying the book of John or The New Testament or the study of marriage. I spent the first 30 years, reading through the entire Bible each year.  Talk about stick-in-the-mud issues:) When something works for Mark and I, we stick with it!

Take what you like from this blog.  Don't be legalistic.  You are not doing this to check a box or to earn God's favor. You are doing this to be connected to the living vine. Your health depends on it. Your life depends on it.