I fixed it!  My blog is fixed.

Ordering Your World

I have not written in awhile. I know why. If you read my last post on "Making a Big Splash," I talked about having a denial list. I know that I work best when I am not allowing everything into my life.
This is what I am struggling with the past two weeks.  I allow so many things in my life, many of them actually good things.  I stay busy 24 hours a day...okay maybe I exaggerate a little. However, I have been dry in my writing because I have put no boundaries in my personal life lately. Also, I have put no boundaries in my eating.  I have a grip on that for now.
It brings me full circle to the topic that I started with in January. What is my life's vision? What are my goals?  What do I value? My top three are God, family and then ??? I need to decide what will come third, I guess.  It could be friends, job, ministry at church, health, etc. It goes without saying that I will have to put a top priority on my relationship with God, above all else, non-negotiable.  I want to place my relationship with Mark and my boys next.  They are my heart. Third place gets really tricky. Everything gets crammed into third, vying for my attention.
I love my ministry with young adults. They are like my kids, in a very real way. Mark and I talk about them and pray over them all the time.  They make me so proud. I love, love my job.  I have the most amazing job in the world.  I look forward to going to work everyday. I am keenly interested in my health. Five weeks ago, I started on a work out program with the YMCA and I am so proud.  I can do push ups now.  I do not want to ever miss.
My friends are amazing.  They are my pit crew.  They are there for me even when I drift away. They protect me. They pray for me and my family. I put them last place so often. I take them for granted many times.  But they stay with me.  Most of all, my parents and sisters are the most precious people on the planet. My nieces and nephew are part of my posterity. I want to impact their life. There are so many unwritten letters and unmailed birthday cards. I try to see them as often as possible. They definitely get the leftovers in my life and they deserve more.
So humor me and join me as we explore what is our life's vision and how can we order our world.
I will write more about this sometime this week.

The pictures above are from the young adult retreat.

The picture is of me and my precious students.

These are my sweet daughter-in-laws!

This is some of my family in Gulfshores, Alabama.

Do you want to make a big splash?

My pastor preached on the story of Daniel this morning. He touched on an important topic in my repertoire of life lessons. I have given this illustration to my 8th grade students and felt impressed to cover it in my blog. The lesson is this...if you do not have a denial list, you are not an impact player in the game of life. To make a big splash, you must have a small, focused stream of force.
It is easily illustrated in the world around us. I just read an article about how to increase the water pressure of your shower. Guess what one of the suggestions was? Plug up some of the holes with epoxy to increase the pressure! Less is more.
How does that relate to our lives. If we want to have a higher impact on the world, and I certainly do, I must decrease the water flow. Of course, I am not talking about water flow, but the amount of things I allow in my life. I must have a denial list as Daniel did. The story of Daniel is inspiring.
He was exiled from his home and taken to Babylon. The story begins when he was chosen, with a group of Jewish exiles to be trained for leadership in Babylon. All the young men were equally likely candidates who could rise quickly to the top. Only four men did. Here is the story:
^8-10" But Daniel determined that he would not defile himself by eating the king's food or drinking his wine, so he asked the head of the palace staff to exempt him from the royal diet. The head of the palace staff, by God's grace, liked Daniel, but he warned him, "I'm afraid of what my master the king will do. He is the one who assigned this diet and if he sees that you are not as healthy as the rest, he'll have my head!"
^11-13 But Daniel appealed to a steward who had been assigned by the head of the palace staff to be in charge of Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah: "Try us out for ten days on a simple diet of vegetables and water. Then compare us with the young men who eat from the royal menu. Make your decision on the basis of what you see."
^14-16 The steward agreed to do it and fed them vegetables and water for ten days. At the end of the ten days they looked better and more robust than all the others who had been eating from the royal menu. So the steward continued to exempt them from the royal menu of food and drink and served them only vegetables.
^17-19 God gave these four young men knowledge and skill in both books and life. In addition, Daniel was gifted in understanding all sorts of visions and dreams. At the end of the time set by the king for their training, the head of the royal staff brought them in to Nebuchadnezzar. When the king interviewed them, he found them far superior to all the other young men. None were a match for Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. "
Their secret...they had a defilement list. How many of us have a defilement list? A pre-decided list of things that would be exempted from our life. If everything and anything is allowed, then our "water flow" will be low pressure. If I purposefully deny myself from certain things, I believe I will be more of a force on my environment.
My list may not be the same as yours. I actually do not like TV. If I did, most TV shows would be on my denial list. They add no value to my life whatsoever. Most movies are off my list. For me(notice I said me, not you) alcohol is off my list. The Bible does not forbid alcohol. I just forbid it in my life. It serves no purpose for me and could cause harm if a student saw me drinking alcohol in public. These are just examples. I like the idea of doing without things that the world thinks are a necessary part of life. Many folks think they are non-conformists. In actually, they look just like the world. You can't tell them apart from anyone else. What is on your list?

Weary and Burdened

Matthew 11:28-30 states “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Wow, what a promise! Who would not want to have an easy yoke and a light burden? I have always imagined that I would like to trade my burdens and take on a more improved stack. I wanted that easy, light load...the one everyone else seemed to have.
I was out of town for 4 days recently.  Upon returning, I was facing a giant pile of work. I was weary and burdened. I wanted to rest, write on my blog, eat stuff, and relax. But that was impossible.  I even had to miss the Super Bowl party because I had about 6 hours of school work to complete.  Life did not seem fair. Seemed that every else had that "light" load and I had to walk around with a heavy load.
However, I was talking to Luke and he brought new insight to this familiar passage.  I wanted these verses to mean something else. I left out the middle, and most important, part of the passage.  Jesus did indeed invite me to take his yoke upon me.  But I conveniently skipped that part about learning from him.  What did he ask me to learn?  Jesus asked me to be gentle and humble in heart and then I would find rest for my soul.
That cast an entirely different light on the verse. Learn from Jesus. When I am gentle and humble in heart, I will find rest for my soul. He did not take long naps because he was worn out, demand his "rights," claim what he thought he "deserved," strive to be understood, envy the rich guy, want a better mission in life, or even get mad when we did not know how important he was. He was totally quiet when accused.  He was absolutely submissive to his father. He gave up riches and glory and came to live among us to show us The Way, not a Way. He is everything I am not.  He is gently asking me to learn from Him. 

Wise Spending and Budgeting

I am going to put nuggets of thought here. These are things I have observed and learned over the years about money. First of all, a non-negotiable would be to give 10% of all you have to God. I am so blessed to have an awesome dad who gave away more than 10% and believed all that he had came from the Lord. On top of that, I married a husband who believes the same so I have been protected my whole life by being under the umbrella of God’s protection. In Malachi 3:11, "I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the LORD Almighty. I have seen the evidence of that in my marriage. Giving provides a sense of stewardship rather than ownership. If you are not able to give, somehow money grips you and causes you to think that it is your money and not God’s.
Think of your money in terms of eternity spending. Matthew 6:19-20 states, "Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being." Try to invest in things that matter for the long haul. 

      Another thing that Mark and I have done is invest in a child from another country.  Compassion International feeds, clothes and educates children who would otherwise die of hunger.  We started this when Ben was born, almost 29 years ago.  Today we have added 4 sweet boys from India and Ecuador.  Compare the amount you could spend going out to eat and the amount you could spend supporting a starving child.  Literally, that is the amount it takes to save a life.That makes the decision a no-brainer.
     As far as budgeting, Mark and I went through a financial seminar when we were newly married. There are a lot of good books on this topic. Many of the budgeting principals from that class have stayed with us through the years. Find a Christian financial seminar and spend the time to set goals for your finances. At least once a year, sit down together as a couple and evaluate how you are doing with your spending and what changes need to be made.
I am about to say something controversial. For a period of time in our marriage, I was in charge of the money. For us, it was totally out of God’s will. We made a decision at some point that Mark would take over this area. I cannot tell you how wise a decision this was for us. We do not have separate checking accounts. Mark handles everything. Understand that I have a Masters Degree in Mathematics and I am fully capable of handling the money, but in my heart I knew that for us this was not good. I do not think I was being submissive as long as I had that role. God has blessed us in many ways since then and I have thanked God for convicting us in that area. Ask God to help you make the right decision.
    This is another area where Mark and I do not pretend to be experts...not even close.  Start small. If your heart is gripped by money and materialism, start giving it away.  That is the only known cure for greed.

She is up before dawn...are you kidding?

Preparing for each day, Cooking for a family

"She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants." Proverbs 31:15(NIV)

"She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day." (The Message )

I am really intimidated by this one. Cooking is such an annoyance to me. My mom was a first class caterer and she is still the most unbelievable cook at age 80(in May). However, she was always a little critical when I tried to cook (sorry mom, you were) so I developed a dislike for cooking. When I got married and then had two hungry boys, I developed my own style of cooking. I kept it very simple and I still do. This is not Biblical advice…just my advice. I keep it very simple! When the boys were young, I had a calendar on the refrigerator that listed the meals for the month. It made shopping easier and the decision was made when it came time for dinner. I cooked things that I knew that my family liked that were easy to make like spaghetti or oven baked chicken. Today the main, main reason that I keep it simple is the most important…weight management! I struggle with my weight and always will. However, I am more successful when our meals are kept to a routine of steamed vegetables, grilled meal, stir fry, all vegetable meals (Mark’s favorite night)…you get the picture. I am going to go out on a limb and say this…when the world is eating fast foods and huge portions, run the other way. Have a discerning heart in what to cook. God certainly cares about what we eat!!!

To prepare for the day is like getting yourself prepared for any event. I know women whose middle name is "prepare." They can prepare for a dinner party, a job, a family vacation, even a marathon. They are the type of woman whose gift is being able to think through all of the things that they will encounter and plan for it. They do not get "caught off guard" very often. This kind of person intimidates me and I think this is one reason why women think they can never achieve the high standards of Proverbs 31.
However, I am thinking that this Proverbs woman prepares in a different way. To prepare for a successful day means to start it by admitting that you are not capable of handling all the day will hold. We are not able to physically, emotionally or spiritually handle everything all the time. Many years back, God showed grace and mercy to me by getting me to see the importance of spending time each morning in the Word and in prayer. He prepares me by getting me to depend on Him and not myself to handle the day.

Many women get caught up thinking that if they get up earlier, work harder, and complete a checklist that they can be prepared for anything. This is simply not true. Satan would have us believe that we can handle life with little or no prayer, but loads of hard work and confidence. So when we cannot seem to handle the meals, the shopping, and the cleaning …Satan accuses us of not being good enough. Well, we are not good enough. This is why Christ died for us.
Start the day on your knees, acknowledging that you need Him to be the woman you need to be today. I wanted to turn this around and give help on how to organize your time, your priorities, your meals, etc. But every time I would think about it, I felt like the Lord stopped me from doing that. Preparing ourselves for the day is really about preparing our hearts to listen, to discern the Holy Spirit’s voice, to be obedient if He calls you off-task to do something different. Being off-task would not be allowed on some of our checklists. I am not saying that this gives us permission to be lazy all day and be unprepared to run our household. On the contrary, God would not lead us to do that if our desires line up with His. Start the day with the exquisite pleasure of spending time with your heavenly Father who knows what you will face today and will help you prepare for it.

P.S.  I feel compelled to add to this topic.  The saints that go unnoticed in this area are the single moms or dads. If you are in this category, my heart goes out to you.  I sat here for so long, trying to find words to bring strength.  I wanted to bring encouragement. Wow, I am inadequate. I am thankful that God is adequate to meet EVERY need that you have. Do not, even for a second, allow Satan to lie to you and tell you that you just cannot do this without a mate.  Let finding a mate be a separate category for prayer, not the answer to the your need of help with running your household.

Being Productive, Organization

(v. 17, 27) Being Productive, Organization

"She sets about her work vigorously;her arms are strong for the task."  v. 17

"She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."  v. 27

I thought and prayed about this one for awhile. I kept getting stuck with the face that my role models are not necessarily the most organized and productive women. Then it hit me...the role model for us can never be the Proverbs 31 woman. It will always be Jesus. So I thought about his life and what does it say to us about productivity and organization. He packed more into a day than any of us could ever hope to do. What were His secrets, not the woman’s secrets?
For starters, he is the only person to walk the earth that ever totally understood his purpose. Think about that. Wow! We can never hope to achieve that. However, we must seek God’s face constantly, daily, hourly...asking Him “what is my purpose for today, for my family, for my job?” Consider a previous blog that I wrote about the need for a focused life; a life's vision. 

    Jesus was on his way to save the dying son of the leader of the local synagogue, when a woman who had been bleeding for many years touched his garment and was healed. He stopped. He asked who had touched him. He spoke to her. We can’t organize our day to the point where we do not stop and minister to the person who God placed in our path.
He withdrew to pray. This secret cannot be overemphasized. Our productivity depends on the amount that we pray. If prayer is a one minute sentence on the way to work, we will not be very productive for that day, no matter how many tasks we accomplish.

   That being said, I constantly pray for God to make my brain organized for the tasks I will face today. I do not allow procrastination to creep into my life. Think back to our example of Jesus, he never procrastinated. When his father told him to do something, he did it immediately. I try to finish what I start and not leave the task until later. Another principle backed up by scripture.

    When God calls us to a job, we do not quit. When we get discouraged, we persevere. How many times in our home are we tempted to stop because a job got too big, too hard? The other secrets to being organized can be better stated by a truly organized person. I do not see that as my strength. I hate calendars. I hate a checklist. I do what I have to do to survive the day. But keep in mind; do not let your goal be organization. Instead let your goal be to become more Christ-like.

    For years, Mark and I used Calendar Creator. Mark and I would sit down the last day of the month and we would brainstorm everything we knew was happening that month, especially birthdays. That calendar was posted on the refrigerator. It included the weekly menus. Keep in mind that I needed it to be simple and so the menus did not vary that much. It only took about 30 minutes. Mark tries to keep me organized with my iphone and his iphone. I miss Calendar Creator, but also the season of life I was in.
I love my filing system. It helps me organize all my papers. We bought premade file tabs from The Container Store. I bought all the file folders and stuck on the labels that I needed. I try to file as often as possible. This system enables me to find everything that would be lost on my desk if I had not invested in this system. I could not survive without it. The hard part for me is the decision anxiety. Once I have plans made, I am more successful in implementing the plan.

   When reading these verses in Proverbs, keep in mind that God's plans for our lives are not to be a machine, moving through the day with precision and no wasted movements.  God's plan is to produce for the kingdom, not produce for the sake of producing.