Meditations

Do you want to make a big splash?

2012-02-12T19:22:00.000-08:00

My pastor preached on the story of Daniel this morning. He touched on an important topic in my repertoire of life lessons. I have given this illustration to my 8th grade students and felt impressed to cover it in my blog. The lesson is this...if you do not have a denial list, you are not an impact player in the game of life. To make a big splash, you must have a small, focused stream of force.
It is easily illustrated in the world around us. I just read an article about how to increase the water pressure of your shower. Guess what one of the suggestions was? Plug up some of the holes with epoxy to increase the pressure! Less is more.
How does that relate to our lives. If we want to have a higher impact on the world, and I certainly do, I must decrease the water flow. Of course, I am not talking about water flow, but the amount of things I allow in my life. I must have a denial list as Daniel did. The story of Daniel is inspiring.
He was exiled from his home and taken to Babylon. The story begins when he was chosen, with a group of Jewish exiles to be trained for leadership in Babylon. All the young men were equally likely candidates who could rise quickly to the top. Only four men did. Here is the story:
^8-10" But Daniel determined that he would not defile himself by eating the king's food or drinking his wine, so he asked the head of the palace staff to exempt him from the royal diet. The head of the palace staff, by God's grace, liked Daniel, but he warned him, "I'm afraid of what my master the king will do. He is the one who assigned this diet and if he sees that you are not as healthy as the rest, he'll have my head!"
^11-13 But Daniel appealed to a steward who had been assigned by the head of the palace staff to be in charge of Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah: "Try us out for ten days on a simple diet of vegetables and water. Then compare us with the young men who eat from the royal menu. Make your decision on the basis of what you see."
^14-16 The steward agreed to do it and fed them vegetables and water for ten days. At the end of the ten days they looked better and more robust than all the others who had been eating from the royal menu. So the steward continued to exempt them from the royal menu of food and drink and served them only vegetables.
^17-19 God gave these four young men knowledge and skill in both books and life. In addition, Daniel was gifted in understanding all sorts of visions and dreams. At the end of the time set by the king for their training, the head of the royal staff brought them in to Nebuchadnezzar. When the king interviewed them, he found them far superior to all the other young men. None were a match for Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. "
Their secret...they had a defilement list. How many of us have a defilement list? A pre-decided list of things that would be exempted from our life. If everything and anything is allowed, then our "water flow" will be low pressure. If I purposefully deny myself from certain things, I believe I will be more of a force on my environment.
My list may not be the same as yours. I actually do not like TV. If I did, most TV shows would be on my denial list. They add no value to my life whatsoever. Most movies are off my list. For me(notice I said me, not you) alcohol is off my list. The Bible does not forbid alcohol. I just forbid it in my life. It serves no purpose for me and could cause harm if a student saw me drinking alcohol in public. These are just examples. I like the idea of doing without things that the world thinks are a necessary part of life. Many folks think they are non-conformists. In actually, they look just like the world. You can't tell them apart from anyone else. What is on your list?

Weary and Burdened

2012-02-09T18:17:00.000-08:00

Matthew 11:28-30 states “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Wow, what a promise! Who would not want to have an easy yoke and a light burden? I have always imagined that I would like to trade my burdens and take on a more improved stack. I wanted that easy, light load...the one everyone else seemed to have.
I was out of town for 4 days recently. Upon returning, I was facing a giant pile of work. I was weary and burdened. I wanted to rest, write on my blog, eat stuff, and relax. But that was impossible. I even had to miss the Super Bowl party because I had about 6 hours of school work to complete. Life did not seem fair. Seemed that every else had that "light" load and I had to walk around with a heavy load.
However, I was talking to Luke and he brought new insight to this familiar passage. I wanted these verses to mean something else. I left out the middle, and most important, part of the passage. Jesus did indeed invite me to take his yoke upon me. But I conveniently skipped that part about learning from him. What did he ask me to learn? Jesus asked me to be gentle and humble in heart and then I would find rest for my soul.
That cast an entirely different light on the verse. Learn from Jesus. When I am gentle and humble in heart, I will find rest for my soul. He did not take long naps because he was worn out, demand his "rights," claim what he thought he "deserved," strive to be understood, envy the rich guy, want a better mission in life, or even get mad when we did not know how important he was. He was totally quiet when accused. He was absolutely submissive to his father. He gave up riches and glory and came to live among us to show us The Way, not a Way. He is everything I am not. He is gently asking me to learn from Him.

Wise Spending and Budgeting

2012-02-07T15:29:00.000-08:00

I am going to put nuggets of thought here. These are things I haveobserved and learned over the years about money. First of all, a non-negotiablewould be to give 10% of all you have to God. I am so blessed to have an awesome dad who gave away more than 10% and believed all that he had came from theLord. On top of that, I married a husband who believes the same so I have beenprotected my whole life by being under the umbrella of God’s protection. In Malachi 3:11, "I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the LORD Almighty. I have seen theevidence of that in my marriage. Giving provides a sense of stewardship rather than ownership. If you are not able to give,somehow money grips you and causes you to think that it is your money and not God’s.
Think of your money in terms of eternity spending. Matthew 6:19-20 states, "Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being." Try to invest in things that matter for the long haul.

      Another thing that Mark and I have done is invest in a child from another country. Compassion International feeds, clothes and educates children who would otherwise die of hunger. We started this when Ben was born, almost 29 years ago. Today we have added 4 sweet boys from India and Ecuador. Compare the amount you could spend going out to eat and the amount you could spend supporting a starving child. Literally, that is the amount it takes to save a life.That makes the decision a no-brainer.
     As far as budgeting, Mark and I went through a financial seminar when wewere newly married. There are a lot of good books on this topic. Many of thebudgeting principals from that class have stayed with us through the years.Find a Christian financial seminar and spend the time to set goals for yourfinances. At least once a year, sit down together as a couple and evaluate howyou are doing with your spending and what changes need to be made.
I am about to say something controversial. For a period of time in ourmarriage, I was in charge of the money. For us, it was totally out of God’swill. We made a decision at some point that Mark would take over this area. Icannot tell you how wise a decision this was for us. We do not have separatechecking accounts. Mark handles everything. Understand that I have a MastersDegree in Mathematics and I am fully capable of handling the money, but in myheart I knew that for us this was not good. I do not think I was beingsubmissive as long as I had that role. God has blessed us in many ways sincethen and I have thanked God for convicting us in that area. Ask God to help youmake the right decision.
    This is another area where Mark and I do not pretend to be experts...not even close. Start small. If your heart is gripped by money and materialism, start giving it away. That is the only known cure for greed.

She is up before dawn...are you kidding?

2012-01-31T19:54:00.000-08:00

Preparing for each day, Cooking for a family

"She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants." Proverbs 31:15(NIV)

"She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day." (The Message )

I am really intimidated by this one. Cooking is such an annoyance to me. My momwas a first class caterer and she is still the most unbelievable cook at age80(in May). However, she was always a little critical when I tried to cook (sorry mom,you were) so I developed a dislike for cooking. When I got married and then hadtwo hungry boys, I developed my own style of cooking. I kept it very simple andI still do. This is not Biblical advice…just my advice. I keep it very simple!When the boys were young, I had a calendar on the refrigerator that listed themeals for the month. It made shopping easier and the decision was made when itcame time for dinner. I cooked things that I knew that my family liked thatwere easy to make like spaghetti or oven baked chicken. Today the main, mainreason that I keep it simple is the most important…weight management! Istruggle with my weight and always will. However, I am more successful when ourmeals are kept to a routine of steamed vegetables, grilled meal, stir fry, allvegetable meals (Mark’s favorite night)…you get the picture. I am going to goout on a limb and say this…when the world is eating fast foods and hugeportions, run the other way. Have a discerning heart in what to cook. Godcertainly cares about what we eat!!!

To prepare for the day is like gettingyourself prepared for any event. I know women whose middle name is"prepare." They can prepare for a dinner party, a job, a familyvacation, even a marathon. They are the type of woman whose gift is being ableto think through all of the things that they will encounter and plan for it.They do not get "caught off guard" very often. This kind of personintimidates me and I think this is one reason why women think they can neverachieve the high standards of Proverbs 31.
However, I am thinking that this Proverbs woman prepares in a different way. Toprepare for a successful day means to start it by admitting that you are not capableof handling all the day will hold. We are not able to physically, emotionallyor spiritually handle everything all the time. Many years back, God showedgrace and mercy to me by getting me to see the importance of spending time eachmorning in the Word and in prayer. He prepares me by getting me to depend onHim and not myself to handle the day.

Many women get caught up thinking that ifthey get up earlier, work harder, and complete a checklist that they can beprepared for anything. This is simply not true. Satan would have us believethat we can handle life with little or no prayer, but loads of hard work andconfidence. So when we cannot seem to handle the meals, the shopping, and thecleaning …Satan accuses us of not being good enough. Well, we are not goodenough. This is why Christ died for us.
Start the day on your knees, acknowledging that you need Him to be the womanyou need to be today. I wanted to turn this around and give help on how toorganize your time, your priorities, your meals, etc. But every time I wouldthink about it, I felt like the Lord stopped me from doing that. Preparingourselves for the day is really about preparing our hearts to listen, todiscern the Holy Spirit’s voice, to be obedient if He calls you off-task to dosomething different. Being off-task would not be allowed on some of ourchecklists. I am not saying that this gives us permission to be lazy all dayand be unprepared to run our household. On the contrary, God would not lead usto do that if our desires line up with His. Start the day with the exquisitepleasure of spending time with your heavenly Father who knows what you willface today and will help you prepare for it.

P.S. I feel compelled to add to this topic. The saints that go unnoticed in this area are the single moms or dads. If you are in this category, my heart goes out to you. I sat here for so long, trying to find words to bring strength. I wanted to bring encouragement. Wow, I am inadequate. I am thankful that God is adequate to meet EVERY need that you have. Do not, even for a second, allow Satan to lie to you and tell you that you just cannot do this without a mate. Let finding a mate be a separate category for prayer, not the answer to the your need of help with running your household.

Being Productive, Organization

2012-01-30T19:44:00.000-08:00

(v. 17, 27) Being Productive, Organization

"She sets about her work vigorously;her arms are strong for the task." v. 17

"She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." v. 27

I thought and prayed about this one for awhile. I kept getting stuck with theface that my role models are not necessarily the most organized and productivewomen. Then it hit me...the role model for us can never be the Proverbs 31woman. It will always be Jesus. So I thought about his life and what does itsay to us about productivity and organization. He packed more into a day thanany of us could ever hope to do. What were His secrets, not the woman’ssecrets?
For starters, he is the only person to walk the earth that ever totallyunderstood his purpose. Think about that. Wow! We can never hope to achievethat. However, we must seek God’s face constantly, daily, hourly...asking Him“what is my purpose for today, for my family, for my job?” Consider a previous blog that I wrote about the need for a focused life; a life's vision.

Jesuswas on his way to save the dying son of the leader of the local synagogue, whena woman who had been bleeding for many years touched his garment and washealed. He stopped. He asked who had touched him. He spoke to her. We can’torganize our day to the point where we do not stop and minister to the personwho God placed in our path.
He withdrew to pray. This secret cannot be overemphasized. Our productivitydepends on the amount that we pray. If prayer is a one minute sentence on theway to work, we will not be very productive for that day, no matter how manytasks we accomplish.

That being said, I constantly pray for God to make my brainorganized for the tasks I will face today. I do not allow procrastination tocreep into my life. Think back to our example of Jesus, he neverprocrastinated. When his father told him to do something, he did itimmediately. I try to finish what I start and not leave the task until later.Another principle backed up by scripture.

When God calls us to a job, we do notquit. When we get discouraged, we persevere. How many times in our home are wetempted to stop because a job got too big, too hard? The other secrets to beingorganized can be better stated by a truly organized person. I do not see thatas my strength. I hate calendars. I hate a checklist. I do what I have to do tosurvive the day. But keep in mind; do not let your goal be organization.Instead let your goal be to become more Christ-like.

For years, Mark and I used CalendarCreator. Mark and I would sit down the last day of the month and we wouldbrainstorm everything we knew was happening that month, especially birthdays.That calendar was posted on the refrigerator. It included the weekly menus.Keep in mind that I needed it to be simple and so the menus did not vary thatmuch. It only took about 30 minutes. Mark tries to keep me organized with my iphone and his iphone. I miss Calendar Creator, but also the season of life I was in.
I love my filing system. It helps me organize all my papers. We boughtpremade file tabs from The Container Store. I bought all the file folders andstuck on the labels that I needed. I try to file as often as possible. Thissystem enables me to find everything that would be lost on my desk if I had notinvested in this system. I could not survive without it. The hard part for me isthe decision anxiety. Once I have plans made, I am more successful in implementingthe plan.

When reading these verses in Proverbs, keep in mind that God's plans for our lives are not to be a machine, moving through the day with precision and no wasted movements. God's plan is to produce for the kingdom, not produce for the sake of producing.

when life is not perfect

2012-01-30T19:35:00.000-08:00

Sometimes marriage disappoints...
My sweet baby sister, Judy-Bug, was talking about my blog. You know how sisters know you better than anyone else? She suggested that I tell about times when Mark and I struggle. I totally agree. When I wrote my last blog, I was not speaking to Mark because I was so mad at him. Sometimes when I can't stand the sight of Mark, I type all my thoughts. Once when I did this, I made a list of all the reasons I was mad. Then I wrote "reasons why I love Mark." Underneath, I typed in large, red font "Nothing. I do not like anything about you today!" I felt a lot better. I showed it to him the next morning so he would know how I felt. By the time, he had read the 28 things that I did not like about him and then read that I did not like anything about him(in large, red font)...well, I fell out laughing because I thought that maybe he may have a list about me.
Favorite sayings are "Mark, I have not had a happy day since college!" Really? Another famous saying is when I kept asking for a "knife" and Mark finally yelled "I can't help it if you don't have a "life." I meekly responded that I was not asking for a "new life." I just wanted a knife to cut my meat.
Sometimes when we are arguing and we decide to pray about it, I feel that there is no hope. But God always, always restores our joy. Always! I realize that there are people reading this blog that feel like if they had a sweet, kind husband then they would do what the Bible says about wives. It does not work that way. You cannot say, "God, I will be faithful to your commands WHEN you change my husband." We must say to God, "I will be faithful, whether or not I know the outcome.
I can remember in college when Mark asked a gorgeous girl to be his date to Homecoming. I was not that gorgeous girl. I was devastated!!! I cried my eyes out for two days. Then I drew a line in the sand and said "I will trust you no matter what the outcome of our relationship." I wanted the trust to be in place first.

resourcefulness

2012-01-29T19:20:00.000-08:00

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.
She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.

(v.13,19, 22, 24) Being Creative and Resourceful

Ilove this one. Do not be intimidated by the stuff this woman does. Every verse in the Bible has a principal behind it. I believe these verses are encouraging us to be resourceful. I do not think many people would call themselves creative and resourceful.Society has taken the fun and creativity out of our homes. The best part of mytraining to be a wife and mom was the early years of our marriage. Since Markand I are both teachers, we were a little on the poverty side.:):):) When theboys were born, we decided that I would stay home for a few years. Unbelievableand so awesome. I am convinced that God wants us to be resourceful!

The answerto every question about a purchase was always no. But the joy in discoveringhow to make do was worth the journey. I will give you examples of how this has stayed with me...my favorite plants are theones I have taken a cutting and grown it myself. More than half my plants arenot bought. A store-bought plant is not as special.

My favorite furniture is the 65 year old bedroom furniture thatMark's mom and dad bought when they were first married. Mark and I refinishedit and it is gorgeous. Since we did not have money for a kitchen table when wefirst married, I asked my mom and mother-in-law to save up all our gifts theywould have given us and donate to the table fund. That 33 year old table is myprized possession!

Mark and I got used to never being able to afford a movie oreat out so now we are so much more content even though we can do that now. Weused cloth diapers(easier than you think) and I nursed the boys and saved a ton of money on diapers and formula. We drove oldcars and took vacations to see family. We could not afford to make a minimum payment on anything so we did not even have a credit card. The lessons I learned then wereinvaluable to our marriage.

Mark and I don't have such a longing for materialthings because we were so happy without them Develop a sense of contentment.Try to find ways to not spend money. Creativity and resourcefulness are theproducts of not conforming to the world.

I have this rebellious nature aboutthe world...if the world does it one way, I will rebel and go the other way.When you get married and have a family, the world will tell you thatyou will only be happy if you take the kids to Disney world, drive a nice car,have a gorgeous home,etc. If you have the money, do it! But if you do not, pushit out of the head! Your brain is made to be creative. You are smart enough notto fall for that. Be resourceful. God gave us the ability to problem-solve.

I wish this for every young couple...to have to do without things and learn to enjoy it. I am a little sad for the young couples who start off with everything. What do they have to look forward to? Later on when you do have a little more money, it won't have such a hold on you and you can give it away a little easier.

This is 33rd anniversary picture...

worth repeating

2012-01-29T17:16:00.000-08:00

This is so crazy. About 3 or 4 years ago, a precious young friend of mine asked me to write some advice for her about marriage. I asked her if she kept a copy of my answer and she sent this to me. I haven't changed much in the way that I felt about these Biblical principals. They have been my standard for many years. These words bear repeating. Not because I said them but because this is God's word.

(v.11-12) Being a Trustworthy wife
I am thinking of ways that Mark can trust me.
a) financially. A wise wife will spend according to their income. Many a wifewill coax her husband to spend more than what they can afford so she will havenice clothes, car, house. Our husbands depend on us to have a contentment inall things, just like the apostle Paul. This also makes our husbands feel likewe respect his job and his income. Never let your husband feel like he does notmake enough to support you in the way you want to live. I can talk about thatone awhile.

b)gossip. Never talk about your husband's weakness to anyone else, unless it isa professional couseling situation. Especially do not talk to your parentsabout his weakness. You are the PR person for your husband. Represent him tothe world as the most wonderful gift that God has given you. He will love youso much for that.

c)sexually. This is a topic that may not be made clear to young wives so I wantto get it out in the open. Your husband will trust you to meet his needssexually. So be faithful to that. Obviously, do not have an inappropriatefriendship with a guy. But more than that...have sex when your husband needs tohave sex. You won't understand ever how he feels about sex. Men are mysteriesto me in that area. But I want Mark to trust me that I will do everything tofulfill that need for him. He will love you forever if you let him know he cantrust you to meet that need for him.

d)respect. Your husband needs to trust you that you are going to respect himeven when he does not feel like he is worthy of your respect. Think about thereverse...don't you want him to love you even when you do not feel worthy ofbeing loved? Respect your husband out of obedience to God's word. This may bethe hardest thing to do.

I wrote her several other things and I will blog about the others, as well.

Trust

2012-01-25T19:10:00.000-08:00

"Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it." (Proverbs 31:11) I think of all the attributes that we can ascribe to wives, trust must top the list. Our husbands must trust in us fully. Again, we are not negotiating that he has to earn our trust. God wrote that our husbands can trust us.
I have thought of many things our husbands must trust us with. I think the most important area is that he will trust us to love the Lord more than him. Mark does not need to constantly remind me to read my Bible and pray. He trusts that I am growing in the Lord everyday. He does not want to be put on a pedestal and expected to be everything. He wants the Lord to be my everything.
Mark needs to trust me that I will take care of his needs. This is a tricky topic. Our culture has clouded the roles with husband and wives in the home. I researched the Bible to see what it actually says about this. I could not find anything definitive about women doing all the cleaning, cooking and housework, much to Mark's dismay. Therefore, this will be our situation, not a law. I generally do all the cooking and housework. I do not mind this arrangement. Therefore in our house, Mark trusts me to cook and take care of his laundry. In your marriage, your husband may trust you to cut the grass, if that is your arrangement. Just do not be a lazy wife that our mate cannot depend on.
Our husbands need to trust us that we will spend within our means. For us, this means that when I know we can't afford something, I do not need to beg for it. What I have noticed in our marriage is that if I really would like to spend money on an item, Mark would move heaven and earth to get it. This causes problems. I can sway Mark to buy something that we cannot afford and do not need. Mark needs to trust me that I will not make him feel guilty that we cannot buy something.
Next is the R-rated area. I believe that our husbands need to trust us that we will meet his sexual needs. The world bombards our husband's vision with scantly clad women, magazine covers. billboards, TV commercials, etc. Sex sells everything. I realize that you could argue that our husbands need to guard his eyes. That is another blog. But I know that we are trusted with a fragile role in meeting our husband's needs and the Bible is clear about this issue. I Cor 7:5, states that we do not hold back from giving to our spouse unless we are fasting or by mutual consent. This is a wise command from God because He knows what makes for a healthy marriage.
I am totally naive on what goes on in other marriages in the area of sex. Again, I am totally focusing today on wives, not husband's role. However, I was researching this topic and it was so sad to see all the confused wives who do not see a need for sex. This is another non-negotiable. I certainly realize that you could come up with a million reasons why this does not apply to your marriage. Your husband is selfish, your husband is lazy, your husband does not understand how tired you are, your husband does not help with the kids or the laundry, etc. I can imagine me standing in front of God in the future and explaining that I was not obedient because my husband did not cut the grass. It is not going to fly.
In the big picture, we are talking about how can we be obedient and build healthy marriages. This is a healthy marriage requirement. When we are obedient, we are allowing God to work in our husband's heart. It is not in reverse. We do not wait until he works in our husband's heart before we are obedient.
Because I am talking to single women as well as married, I must add that your husband will trust that you kept yourself pure for him. If you have not done this, the good news is that there is abundant forgiveness for your past. Another blog topic.
One last, painful area. Our husbands trust that we will stay beautiful for him. Do I need to back that up with a Bible verse? Quit making up excuses why you do not wear make-up, do not exercise, do not watch what you eat. I am so far from perfect, but I am always on the next diet:) I know that I sound like a know-it-all on the subject of marriage. I must stress that my marriage is so far from perfect. However, without question, when I am obedient to anything stated in God's word, God just absolutely delights me. When I am more in love with God, I am more in love with Mark.
This picture says it all:) I am dancing with the one I love!!!

noble women

2012-01-22T18:21:00.000-08:00

I am wanting to continue in my marriage thoughts. I want to share more about the role of a wife in marriage. I am going to use some scripture from Proverbs. I have read many lessons, blogs, and devotionals on these famous passages of scripture. While I will remain true to the scripture, I want to share things that I have learned from thinking about these verses and applying them to my marriage.

Starting with Proverbs 31:10, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."

The connotation is that a wife with strong character is a rare find, not an everyday occurrence. She is worth far more than rubies. Let's start with the ruby part. I do not know a lot about rubies. I googled "rubies" and I was shocked to discover that a clear, transparent, and faultless ruby with a uniform deep red color is at the present time the most valuable precious stone known! The writer of Proverbs is stating that when we are a noble woman, our value is immeasurable to our husband. We are more valuable to our husband than any other thing. That is a tall order.

Let's talk about the word noble and see if we have a prayer:) The definition of noble is a person of noble birth or rank; imposing; magnificent; of an exalted moral character or excellence. Did you see what I saw? Nobility has something to do with our birth. To be born a son or daughter of a king gives us qualities of exalted character or excellence. We act different when we a part of a noble heritage. I don't know about you, but I know that I act different when I realize that my Saviour is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I will hold my head up a little higher when I remember that my Father owns the "cattle on a thousand hills." I need to be reminded that in Psalms 45:11, "The king is enthralled by my beauty." I could go on and on but the point is that when I act like the daughter of the King, I will be a wife of noble character.

In Proverbs 12:4, "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." The highest challenge for me, the life-long challenge for me is to be a wife of noble character. Notice that I am not doing this for my benefit, but for Mark's benefit. I cannot do this to receive anything. Mark is the one that walks around wearing a crown. We need to know this from the beginning. Remember a couple of blogs ago, I warned you that marriage is not what you think and yet it is so much better than you think. Continue with that verse. "A disgraceful wife is like decay to his bones." Some versions state that a disgraceful wife is like cancer. Strong words but you can you see the truth in them. We all know someone who is so negative and ungrateful that she causes her husband to slump his shoulders a little more everyday under the weight of her poison comments. My desire for Mark is to see him grow, not see him decline.

In Proverbs 18:22,"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD." Again this last promise is all about Mark and what I can add to his life. I can be his highest joy on this earth, his greatest blessing. A blessed, happy husband who thinks, even in a small way, that I am a good thing that God gave him is a man that I will love being married to. I want Mark to feel that God has "favored" him with a wife and not cursed him with a weight to carry around for the duration.

Begin today to become a woman of "noble character." Immerse yourself in the word to grow in your knowledge of your nobility. Speak often to the Father to deepen your relationship with Him. Walk proudly and boldly before the throne of grace and ask him to transform your thinking if it is skewed about who you are. The verse that says "Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you," means that you have to be seeking God before you seek the husband you are praying for. Tomorrow I have a R rated blog. Women only need to read my blog for awhile:)

Guest blogger today!

2012-01-21T17:45:00.000-08:00

Three years ago, I blogged about the incredible transformation of my son, Luke. God did such a work in my heart when my husband and I went through a period of 6 years of Luke's rebellion and subsequent depression. It was a turning point in my prayer life. Luke gave me permission to put one of his emails on my blog. Not only is it compelling in its message, but it validates the power of God to dramatically change a life. Here are Luke's words.

"Mom,

Alright so the purpose of the list is that we don't lower the historical standard of adulthood simply because we have largely failed as a nation of producing adults.

So with this list in mind, begin to think less about how old someone is and more about maturity. I want to move away from the term "immature adults" because that I believe is an oxymoron. Maturity is the mark of adulthood, not age.

Also, I think all of these are necessary for the continuing success of a society as well as that of a nation seeking righteousness and following God's laws and when they fade so does that nation, but these are all biblical standards anyways. The very foundation of a successful society is found in biblical principles of living.

1. Hard work. As a teenager we loved sleep and aimless living. Hard work is critical to becoming an adult. Our current over-emphasis of lawsuits, the corporate theft, and the increasing frustration seen in the Wall Street movement is a result of this point. The ridiculous misuse of the legal system with lawsuits is derived from the "make a quick buck" thinking. The insider trading happens because when you work hard it leads to a profit but it takes longer and sometimes is not as much as we want. When hard work is not a value in your life, you will throw off simple societal restraint in order to get ahead by doing less. Also this "Occupy Wall Street nonsense... quit complaining without a vision and get a job.

2. Be Reliable. This includes being on time and doing what you say you will do. Right now my generation is in the middle of a crisis and everyone is so afraid of commitment that it will continue to get worse. To expect someone to do what they say they will do is more than reasonable. It is the only way things actually get done. To expect someone to be on time and do what they are supposed is critical for a business, school, government, etc. to actually make progress. Not paying bills on time (I understand people lose their jobs and such things happen) but the outstanding debt of our nation and so many bankruptcy's are a mark of immaturity. This is a non-negotiable part of being an adult.

3. Be Reasonable. Be a little patient with people. Think outside of self preservation for 30 minutes a week(I understand this will take some time for most of us). Don't be angry all the time because it rubs off on people. It's amazing the insanity of angry people because they openly admit to having a bad temper, but refuse to actually self-examine why they are mostly mad. They continue to do the same thing and expect a different result.

4. Correction. To be an adult you must be able to receive correction and be able to give it. Our nation has the most "thin-skinned chip on a shoulder attitude" about getting corrected. It's becoming more and more common that instead of receiving correction and improving, we get mad, avoid that person, gossip about them, hold a grudge against them. This attitude shows no prejudice with regard to that person being your boss, your spouse, your parent, etc. This is increasingly alarming. Fights have begun breaking out after basketball games. I think I have read of three or four different ones around the nation in the past two weeks. It is because you have a society that largely doesn't have any respect for anything anymore and this includes our legal system and common compassion. Adults are supposed to be able to give correction. Try and imagine how Ben and I would turn out if we never received correction growing up. That's exactly what is happening right now, with kids left to decide what morality is to them with no actual moral guide.

5. Mentor. Take an active role in the generation below yours. If we just did this one, these other four would never have had to be on the list. However, this was neglected. These first four points have largely been thrown off. Whether you invest into your own kids, or other kids that are in your sphere of influence, helping to instill mature values is critical in young ages for forming healthy competent adults.

That's my list. I think these are the markers of what an adult looks like. Notice a couple of things. They do not have anything to do with education, monetary success, social standing, etc. I think these apply for every single class of society. Love you so much mom, and I am so thankful for the values that you and dad taught,but more so you modeled them day after day for decades and set a standard of consistency that I hope to follow. Let me know your thoughts. "

That is my younger son, Luke. I love my sons so much!!!Maybe I can get Ben to do a guest blog...

husband-marriage

2012-01-18T19:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I left off with a promise to try to write to any males in my blogging audience. I am most assuredly not qualified to speak about the topic of being a great husband. However, I can tell you the things about Mark that make me fall more in love with him everyday.
In Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church-a love marked by giving, not getting. For Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring out the best in her.".”In Ephesians 5:23 it states "The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing." Wow, a tall order! It seems unattainable. I don't feel worthy of that kind of love. Come to think of it, I don't feel worthy of Christ's love either. What a gift of grace.
I believe the secret to being this kind of husband is to spend his life trying to know Christ better. I am not sure how a husband can love his wife exactly the way Christ loves if he does not know Christ. That is what Mark has tried to do over our 33 years of marriage. He has tried to know Christ more deeply so in turn he understands how to love me more deeply.
Mark's love is characterized by giving...except during a football game:) Mark fights for me. Husband can't fight for their wives on their terms or give on their terms. Mark has to fight for me in ways that matter to me. He tries to serve me in a way that shows he understands what is important to me, not necessarily to him.
Mark sits on the couch with me every morning and prays with me. He makes my coffee everyday and brings my coffee mug filled each morning. He dances with me when the slow song plays at the end of the movies. He provides leadership, but in a humble way.
I believe that Mark has been a great role model to our sons and more importantly our sons know Christ and put him first in their life, In turn, they are the best husbands! I love to see how my sons are devoting their lives to bringing out the best in my daughter-in-laws.
Mark says that this is not my strongest blog because I am talking too much about him. However, this is just who he is. I am married to an awesome guy!

wives-marriage

2012-01-17T19:55:00.000-08:00

Wow, I feel like my first blog on marriage was a shock to some. I stripped away the fairy tale view that is prevalent in our society. The view that our marriage will complete us, will bring us affirmation, will cure our loneliness and will have a fairy tale ending. However, remember I wanted to tell you some truths about marriage, not myths. The incredible thing about knowing the truth is that it does free us and our spouse to really enjoy a healthy marriage. You will have a more fulfilling marriage than you would have dreamed. God does not invent something as high priority as marriage and then let it be a disappointment. The problem is that we have to do it His way, not our way.
As I stated in my blog, I am looking forward to writing about marriage. I am more in love with Mark than I have ever been in my life. He is the “love of my life.” As I promised the things I will share will have nothing to do with Mark or I. The answers are found in God’s word and they are nonnegotiable. We cannot follow them when we feel like we think they make sense or when they are easy or when they are convenient.
Without further digressing, I will talk about one of those nonnegotiables. In Colossians 3:18, it states “Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honors the Master.” (The Message version) It follows in verse 19, “Husbands go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them.”

As a wife, one of the most difficult things to learn is how to respect your husband, Especially in the early years of marriage, you will struggle with truly encouraging your husband because when he makes a mistake your first response will not be to respect him. That is a natural response. However, we are not talking about a natural response, but a supernatural response. You cannot say "But God, he is not worthy of my respect today because of ___(fill in the blank). How often have you heard a wife make a disrespectful remark about her husband, sometimes pretending to be joking? The first time it happens, you are being disobedient to a command. It will become a life-long pattern if you do not stop and make a deliberate vow to encourage your husband.

As women, we cannot fatham how much our respect means to our husband. In the same way that love is what women desire, guys must feel respected. You can criticize me and I will go on with life, but if you don't love me, I will do anything to earn that love. Flip that with husbands. If they do not feel respect, the love they feel for you will be damaged.

Sometimes wives do not respect the amount of money that their husbands earn. Even though we do not openly speak it, we show it by spending too much money or even worse, complaining about our homes or cars, giving the impression that our husband is not providing the standard of living that we deserve. I cringe when I hear a wife criticizing their husband's brains, looks, work habits, or even some personal habits. You talk to the Lord about it, but not others.

One of the smartest things you can ever do is be your husband's biggest fan, especially in front of your family. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT share your husband's faults with your mom or other family member. Long after you have forgiven them, your mom will remember what you said about him (quote from a dear friend).

Unless you really make up your mind to respect, honor and encourage your husband, you will always settle for less in your marriage and your husband will not reach his full potential in Christ, which means that he will not be the husband you have desired.

Tomorrow in my blog, I will ask Mark to help me to discuss the husband's roll in marriage. Guys, you did not think you got off the hook, did you?

Meditations on Marriage

2012-01-16T09:59:00.000-08:00

I promised to write about marriage and to tell the truth, I almost chickened out. After all, it is like opening myself to criticism and anger from people that disagree. However, from the beginning I will set up the parameters of this advice. This will not be about divorce. It will be about marriage. There is a big difference. I am sure there are plenty of blogs and books about divorce. This will not be one of those.
Secondly, I am determined to only quote the ultimate truth, God's word, not my opinion. That being said, I will jump right in.
As I said, last night I thought to myself "why did I set myself up to write about marriage?" No other relationship causes so much grief and yet promises so much joy. Correct that...having kids is much the same. You just cannot divorce your kids:) Due to my determination to speak truth, I prayed earnestly that God would give me the words to say. It was no surprise this morning, that the very scripture passage I read dealt with marriage. I am not kidding. I smiled and thought "God, this is so you."
In Matthew 18: 2-12, it tells the story of the Pharisees asking Jesus if divorce was okay. He stated the much quoted line that we hear so often at marriage ceremonies, "What God has put together, let no one separate." The disciples remarked that if this is the situation, then it is better not to marry. Jesus then replied with an often overlooked statement. "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to who it has been given." In the Message version, it says "Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage is not for everyone."
Okay, put your guns away. I am only quoting what the Bible says. I believe that this is the first, and most important, advice I would give about marriage. Enter into marriage with the idea that NO MATTER WHAT you will hang in there. Now here is where you can go back to the beginning of this blog and listen to this blog as it speaks about marriage and not divorce. Get past what you have done in the past and focus on what the future will be like.
I wonder if Jesus said that because he knew that marriage would be about santification, not about affirming how wonderful you are because someone chose you to spend their life together. God does not waste anything. There are no relationships, jobs, suffering or even obstacles that he does not use to santify you. Go into marriage with this in mind. God will use the marriage relationship to humble you and show you how selfish you are. He will use marriage to show you how we are all wretched sinners in need of a Saviour. Our first thought will be that our spouse is a wretched sinner and that we were mislead into thinking they were perfect. If we are wise, we will quickly come to the conclusion that we are ALL wretched sinners and that our spouse is discovering that we were not perfect either. Accept that this discovery as the beginning of our great adventure with marriage. Don't be shocked. We were warned in Matthew 18: 11.
I am asking this humbly. Please refer this blog to someone who is contemplating marriage. I am asking that God will change the divorce rate, maybe by slowing down the marriage rate. I am the biggest fan in the universe on marriage! However, let's go into marriage with a correct perspective. It is not about buidling you up, making you feel good about yourself. God has much different and bigger plans than that.

Love of My Life

2012-01-15T19:27:00.000-08:00

My husband is Superman. He is an anomaly, according to our son, Ben. An anomaly is a deviation from the common rule; something different, abnormal, peculiar, or not easily classified. I am not exaggerating. I put his link to his website to the right of my blog. At age 57, he can do amazing things that 20 year olds can't do. Because I am used to him and his ways, I forget that everybody's husband is not like Mark.
As you can tell from my blogs, I am the opposite of Mark. I am a pathetic example of a physically fit person.I can walk without tripping and that is about it. No other athletic ability. He likes to drink Shakeology. I like to eat real food. He likes football seaon so much that he almost cries when it somes to an end. He told me one time that if something happened to me, he could almost make it as long as it was football season. I jump for joy when the season is finally over. So how do we make it work?
That is what I want to write about for awhile. No more talk about my diet or lack of dieting. Just things that I have learned over the past 33, almost 34, years of marriage. The simplicity may surprise you and it certainly will not have anything to do with the cleverness of Mark and Pat. No way. Stay tuned and mention this blog to your married friends or friends that are wanting to get married.

Meltdown

2012-01-15T19:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, after 12 days on a perfect diet plan, complete with exercise, the worse happened. I stepped on the scales and I had gained 2 pounds! So I did what most of us would do, I threw that diet out the window, did not go to the gym and stayed mad. What is the correct response to utter failure?
We all experience disappointment in ourselves when we do the exact opposite of what we wanted to change. We quit our diets, we spent money that we shouldn’t have sent, we did not keep up with our plan to study the Bible on a daily basis, etc. We may have made promises to ourselves to break a cycle of sin that has brought us shame and condemnation.
Our response is human. We want to give up. We need to recognize that we were expecting an instant, miraculous change. Think about what the scripture tells us in Hebrews. (Hebrews 12:1) "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us," Because I am not a runner, I missed that lesson on running. Runners seem to train with patience. They do not expect to run a respectable race the first day out. They have the mentality that they will train until they can run a race and then they train some more. They see the big picture. A race does not end their training. It may be a marker to measure their progress but it is not an end in itself
.My diet is usually like this…I will diet until I lose “x” amount of pounds or fit into a certain size and then I am done. I struggle to see it as a life change. I will not ever eat like that again. The word “quit” should not be in my vocabulary. In Galatians 6:9, it states, “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Today was a new start. God loves to give us new starts.

2012-01-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

I guess since it is my blog, I can change topics again, right? I was thinking today about my new goal of eating healthy and exercising. I am actually doing quite well. Shock! Of course, it has only been 10 days into the New Year. I am forcing my car to drive to the gym this week and ride the treadmill. The reward is that I read a book while I am exercising.The purpose of this blog today, in case it helps even one person, is to analyze why I think I am being successful. The biggest reason is because I am allowing accountability in my life. Do you have any idea of the power of accountability? In 1 Thessalonians 5:11 it says "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, “It is better to have a partner than go it alone. If one falls down, the other helps. But if there's no one to help, tough. By yourself you are unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope is not easily snapped." We tend to want to keep our goals a secret. Obviously if we fail, there is no face to lose if we have not shared our goal. I ask my students to send me 5 goals for the second semester of school. I also ask them to mention the person that will hold them accountable for that goal. It increases the chances of their success if they have asked someone to hold them accountable. If one of your goals is to get out of debt in 2012, the last thing you want to do is to admit to a trusted friend the amount of debt you may have. However, the power of partnering with another person to conquer that debt would be amazing. If my goal is to begin to have a quiet time of reading the Bible and praying every day, I need to let another friend know this. Maybe a goal for someone might be to start a blog! Tell a friend to nag you. Allowing accountability is like opening the windows and allowing lots of sunlight to enter your house. Let the sun (Son) hit every room this week!

Revaluate

2012-01-08T13:24:00.000-08:00

Since it’s officially the end of week one of 2012, it is a great time to assess the damage. If you set goals, how did it go? If things have already fallen apart, ask yourself why. Were your goals unrealistic? Was it really a goal of yours? I know that sounds strange, but sometimes our goals are not consistent with our core values. If that is the case, then something needs to change…either our goals or our values! It may help to go back to square one and define what do you really value, not what you give lip service to. My last blog talked about writing a life vision. If you completed exercise one and are still unsure about what your vision is, try to complete exercise two. What do you want to true at 40? 50? 60? Once again, I am giving examples of what I put. I could be on a different planet from you but I think you can still get a lot from this exercise.At age 60, • I want a friendship with my family• Still have a pit crew that sharpens me(I hope I don’t run them off)• Meaningful prayer life• Know the Word of God(and apply it)• Give away a large % of my income. Be content to live on a small amount• Still having an exciting ministry, “not slowed down to retire”• Physically fit, so I can have the energy to serve. Do you need to revise your life vision? I think it is important to grow up and figure out that being an impact player in this world requires sacrifice, hard work, and discipline. But the reward is to look back with less regrets.

The Power of a Focused Life

2012-01-07T18:05:00.000-08:00

My blog this week will take a different turn. I will return to my goal of healthy eating after I visit this new topic. Last summer I wanted to teach a Bible study and I asked my son, Luke, about ideas. He referred me to the International House of Prayer website. He suggested that I research the ideas on the Power of a Focused Life. I will share some things that I learned from a summer of research on this topic.First of all, we all need a life vision. In Proverbs 29:18 “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (KJV) “Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint.”( NIV)Your vision statement or life vision serves as a compass to keep things going in the right direction. It helps you measure your progress, set goals, establish priorities, and know when to use one of the most important words in your vocabulary: NoMake a life vision!Look at this in different ways. Start by writing down a short paragraph that summarizes your life’s vision. Whatever you have already written down, revise at the end of this exercise. You may revise it several times. On my next blog, I will give you another way to grade your life vision and revise it, if necessary.Exercise I. What would you want those who knew you to say about you at the end of your life? These are 5 suggested categories of people in your life. I included what I put, as a starting point. Person: GodStatement: Loved me with all her heart, soul, and mind. Trusted me. Lived radically. Servant. Was about doing my work. Enjoyed being in my presence. Had a heart of gratitude. Joyful heart. Wanted to please me more than man.Person: Mark, Ben and Luke and extended familyStatement: prayed about everything, humble, not vain, servant, consistent- acted the same around everyone, lived as she taught, (these are the hardest ones –they know me too well)Person: coworkers Statement: Not a complainer, added joy to faculty, hardest worker, encourage my coworkers, Person: friends that you socialize with (if different from job)Statement: was not afraid to be different, not a conformist, loved the Lord, really knew the Lord and had a vibrant relationship with himPerson: ministry (young adults at church)Statement: she lived in such a way that I could see how to be a lover of Christ, understood the importance of prayer and reading the Word, she inspired me to want to trust God with everythingAfter you complete these (and I hope they will take a long time), look at your life vision. Do you have a better idea of your life vision? If you are still with me, I will give you a different exercise on my next blog.

Quotes

2012-01-06T11:30:00.000-08:00

Being married to a former football coach, I have been “blessed” to hear many quotes over our years of marriage. I guess coaches are just born to quote. Mark says things to me like “don’t count the score at halftime, babe.” He would say that a lot when our boys were teenagers. He used to tell our sons “get a plan and work the plan.” Needless to say, they would not always want to hear that lecture. He really likes to say “Fatigue makes cowards of us all,” one of the most famous quotes, attributed to Vince Lombardi. That quote is stuck in my mind the past couple of days. I have been sick. Fever, chills, sore throat…you name it. As a result, my courage is waning. I can’t go to the gym and exercise. My throat hurts too bad to swallow anything, much less anything healthy. However, I will roll with the punches. Another famous Mark Cooper saying is “Get bitter or get better.” Instead of being bitter about being sick, I can rejoice in the fact that I am almost never sick. I am so thankful for that. Better blogs to come!

Discourage vs Courage

2012-01-03T18:42:00.000-08:00

Well by now many of us are getting discouraged about our goals for the year. They seemed so reachable 2 or 3 days ago and now they seem impossible. 1 Corinthians 16:13 says "Be on your guard; stand firm in your faith, be courageous; be strong." We should make note that the verse does not simply say to "be courageous." It starts by stating to "be on your guard." I do not know the first thing about being a soldier, but I think the courage of a solider has a lot to do with being on guard. A solider would be foolish to attempt to be courageous, without being on the lookout for things that would be dangerous. His courage comes from being informed and being smart about the dangers he will face. He will have a plan. Because I am trying to eat healthy, I will use that for my example. I will lesson my discouragement if I am on guard with the food or situations that will be my downfall. For example, I started this year with a specific "box" in mind of what I would allow myself to eat. If I did not put chips in my box, then I need to be on guard against chips being in front of me, surrounding me. The next part of the verse says to “stand firm.” To stand firm in my faith means that I will trust that God will give me a way to escape when confronted with a really bad food choice. Faith implies going all the way in your belief. This is not a job for sissies! No one ever promised us that changing a destructive habit would be easy. It takes courage. Obviously, we will face discouragement. But we do not have to stay in that mode. We CAN turn things around.

Long Day

2012-01-02T13:22:00.000-08:00

I am not going to post everyday but I may need to express my failures and successes a little more often at first. I made it through yesterday, achieving all the small goals I had set. I do not think anyone would be interested in reading about what I eat everyday so I will simply say that yesterday seemed like the longest day! However, my motto kept coming throught my mind...I do not eat like that anymore. From a spiritual aspect, we need to realize that we are wretched sinners who are set free from the sin that so easily entangles us. In 1 Peter 2, it says to "Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God's slaves." Can we say outloud that overeating is a sin, to eat unhealthy is a sin, to eat fast food and junk food is a sin? Why...simply because of the ramifications of these actions. We put our health at risk. We put our ministry at risk. We may put our marriage at risk. We may be putting our future marriage at risk. Satan knows that he can accuse us the minute we do the very thing he has tempted us to do in the first place. In Christ there is no condemnation so that is not condemnation from him. The Holy Spirit convicts, not condemns. Big difference. One is the recipe to give up, while conviction brings hope that you can overcome that sin. Reading the Bible and praying were firmly in place for me in 2011, but this area of health was creeping out of balance. I will have to have a lot of accountability in this area to turn the ship around. Please use this blog as an area of accountability for you, if you desire. No judgement here if you feel that your devotional times are nonexistence. It would be amazing if this blog helps someone come to know Christ this year! As I stated yesterday, I am writing out of obedience, not because I want to show my weaknesses to the world. That is exactly why I quit writing 3 years ago. I could not stand to put my heart out there for people to read. It is too embarrassing. I read something about a month ago that made me want to start writing again. In 1st and 2nd Peter, you get the impression that these books were his swan song. He realized that he was probably going to die soon and wanted to say all that God had told him to say. Even though I do not feel like my time is close(hope not, I have a grandson to meet!), the devotional pierced my heart when it challenged me to do anything I had put off. What was I waiting for? Retirement? That is the lamest excuse I have ever heard. Debts paid? Pitiful reason. Some of us may say, "When I marry, I will have quiet times with my husband and be more committted." Really??? Whatever the reason we have used to put off living, it is time to write it down and light a match to it! I have a lot more to say, but I have to finish schoolwork:):):)

A New Start to This Blog and This Year

2012-01-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

God has been prompting me for a long time to add to this blog. I just did not know how to pick it up after 6 months, then a year, then 2 years, then 3. So I decided that to simply be obedient and get going.
God has been faithful! He has been so faithful. As I start this new year, I have some areas that are screaming to be shared. If no one reads this blog, it really will not matter. I just want to be obedient to share some truths.
The main topics that are on my heart are being a Proverbs 31 woman, taking care of our bodies, and the power of a focused life. I am going to try to stay focused on those three areas.
Since it is New Year's Day, the one that is on my mind today is being more balanced. As I get older, I realize that my ministry will be more difficult if I am unhealthy in any area. If I allow my prayer life, my Bible study,and even my eating plan to get out of wack...my ministry will suffer. For the past couple of weeks I have tried to make changes to any area that needs tweaking. It is so hard to change! Yikes! I started a new Bible study plan to dig deep into the New Testament this year. If I spend a month on one verse, then I will allow myself to do that. For the past 33 years, I have read through the Bible every year. I am realizing that I need to slow down and let each verse change my life. As far as my prayer life...I want to keep on trusting and praying and having a heart of gratitude. Turn my thinking around as quick as I can when life gets rough and see things from an eternal perspective, not temporary.
Lastly, my eating and exercise are way out of balance. The past three days, I have fasted and prayed to get my head neutral and hear what God is wanting to teach me in this area. I will try to actually write more about this area because I want to be accountable to others. I am thankful that God is so patient with our shortcomings and failures. I believe that any efforts that we make to please Him are magnified 1000 times in his eyes. He is the perfect Father.
If you read this blog, two things are happening. You are thinking that you need to make courageous changes this year. I cannot imagine what your weak areas are. They are probably different than mine. However, the second thing that is happening is that the liar and accuser is already convincing you that you cannot change. Test the voice you are listening to. The only voice that is worth acknowledging is the voice of your Heavenly Father. What would He be speaking to your heart?
Lastly, I am a prayer and lover of people. If you need me to pray for you, I would be honored.

Change Your Thinking

2009-01-24T17:24:00.000-08:00

Change your thinking

Have you ever considered that you may need to change your thinking? Most of us are comfortable with our beliefs and have lived with them so long that they "seem" right. We love when people confirm our belief system. However, when they say anything contrary to what we have always thought, we usually bristle inside. A lot of people bristled during Jesus' messages. Jesus would say things like,"you have heard it said...but I say..." He wanted us to change our thinking.
The Jewish nation was not ready to change. They wanted God to be all on the "outside." The old covenant deals with our outside. Things like sacrifices, circumcision, outwardly blessing with riches, even following the law. Check on your beliefs. Do you feel that God owes you something because you are faithful? Do you feel cheated when you get sick or suffer financial hardship and not the ungodly neighbor who is prospering.That is outside covenant living. Think for a minute about every Old Testament story. God's people ALWAYS won every battle. Abraham's family and descendants were wealthy. Job was a rich man and God returned all that he had lost. Does that always happen today? I don't think so.
He is concerned with what is going on inside when we are in a new covenant relationship. There are plenty of godly people who are poor. I DO NOT subscribe to the "prosperity principal." It is old covenant thinking. Jesus said some radical things about life. He said things like "deny yourself." Jesus was never mentioned as wealthy. Paul was ship-wrecked, beaten, had a thorn in the flesh, which God refused to remove. Why? God wants to improve our inside, not our outside. He commands us to rejoice in every trial because it does plastic surgery on our inside.
Being cut open is painful but it heals. Quit holding on to old ideas, like the Pharisees. God cares more about our holiness,than our happiness. He cares more about our posterity, than our prosperity. He cares more about our sanctification, than our level of comfort. He cares more about showing His strength in our weaknesses than us helping us hide our weaknesses.
"Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

The Transforming God

2009-01-19T13:09:00.000-08:00

You know I wouldn't leave you hanging on like that. There is a happy ending to the story and it certainly had nothing to do with my husband and I. I can still remember doing a Beth Moore Bible study on Believing God. One verse we studied was Hebrews 11:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." It hit me like a ton of bricks. Without faith, I was not pleasing to God. I only had fear about the future. I started retraining my thoughts. When fear came over me, I forced myself to remember who God was, regardless of what I thought he was. I started praying about the unseen and not the seen, the eternal and not the temporary. In other words, I remembered WHO GOD IS and not who I was!
Can't tell if God was waiting on that or not. I just will tell you that if I had not seen it with my own eyes, I would not believe it. God gave my son a new everything! He transformed him. He remade him. He threw out the old and gave him the new. You could brag that you witnessed the parting of the Red Sea and I would not be as impressed as I was when I saw God take a person' s life and remake it totally.
My son knows he has been rescued. He loves the Lord more than anyone I know. That is all he talks about. He has a great job, owns his own home and was married to a precious girl in our living room a year ago. If you ask me to explain it, I would simply not be able to. However, God doesn't need explaining...he just needs to be trusted and for me to realize that He is always good. He does not care whether I am happy and have a perfect life. He cares that I am holy and reflect his glory. Thank you God for remaking me.

2009-01-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

I felt the prompting to clarify some things about my prayer life. Interesting enough, I wrote the thoughts on prayer(yesterday's blog) when I was at an all time low in my life. I am not sure if I am emotionally ready to write about this but maybe someone needs to read it to help them through a hard time.
I guess you could say that I am a person who likes to control things. I like to be in control of the outcome. If I am in a group or organization and I sense that no one is taking charge, I will step up to the plate and take over. When I became a mom, I immediately quit my teaching job and stayed home to "do it right." I was positive that no one else could raise my children better than me and I guess I still feel that way.
As time went on, I returned to teaching thinking that I could check that off my checklist. I had a checklist of items that a mom had to do to insure that her children turned out okay. My husband and I get up early every morning and read the Bible together and pray together. We have taught Sunday School together for 30 years...singles, then 12th grade youth and now college. We try to really lived out our faith for our sons to see.
I was completely unprepared for the failure I felt as a parent when our younger son was caught using drugs and put in an alternative school for 6 weeks. My husband and I felt such shame because we both teach school and everyone in town knew about our "failure" as parents. It did not get any better. In fact, it became much worse. Our son became more rebellious as time went on. I can still remember the profound grief that Mark and I felt that we had failed as parents. We were losing the precious son that we had raised. Our endless prayers seemed to fail on deaf ears.Some nights we did not know where he was and we were filled with fear. God, where are you?
I found myself thinking so often, what had we done wrong? Where had we failed? What did I leave out? What item on the checklist went unchecked? I had no idea that it would become even worse. Our son fell into a deep depression from which there seemed to be no escape. He did not want to live. He finally attempted suicide and was in intensive care for three days before we knew that he would make it. Ironically, he attempted to take his life at the end of a Bible study that we held in our home for his 11th grade class at church. Again, I weakly cried out to God, asking Him when he would answer me. The next few years were filled with sadness, bewilderment, shame, insecurity. Why did Mark and I have no control over how our son would turn out? He had no hope. I resigned myself to the fact that he would not marry, much less hold a job or move out of our home.I know what you are thinking...you were too busy doing the right things and had no time for your kids or you were a control freak and your son rebelled. I read every book or article I could get my hands on to find out how to change. We went to counseling. I had a young mom ask me do I regret going back to work when I did and do I think that if she stayed home from work that her son would not turn out like my son. See, that is what we do. We all try to control the outcome. We try to come up with a reason why we see a child turning out like he does. We are certain that if we can come up with a logical explanation and try not to do that ourselves that we are "safe" and that it won't happen to our children.
I wrote the thoughts on prayer(yesterday's blog) during this difficult time. I had no answers...just faith in the one who had all the answers.

Thoughts on Prayer

2009-01-18T16:26:00.000-08:00

When God doesn’t make sense, when you feel like God is silent, when you don’t understand why nothing is changing about your situation,
Remember that it makes no difference if I understand God or not. That does not change the fact that He is God . My shabby belief system has no bearing on the fact that God is who He says He is. God’s power is not based on my belief in Him. His arm is never too short, His timing is never off. It simply does not matter whether I accept those facts; they are true anyway.
I can make things easier on myself by accepting them as truth in ANY given situation or I can make things difficult by rejecting those truths…my choice.
God’s power is not contingent on my being able to “figure out” what is God doing in all of these problems. He exists apart from me and my beliefs. How arrogant am I to think that whether I can see His hands move as a result of my prayer is the evidence of His answering my prayer. His answer to my prayer is based on His word that He is a God who “gives to those who ask.” He is a God who works ALL things for good to those who love Him.

2009-01-06T17:56:00.000-08:00

Being a teacher, I constantly think about how to improve my teaching. One thing that I encourage my students to do is to be an active participant in the process of learning. This may sound like common sense. However, if you have ever visited in the typical 8th classroom, you will see that the teacher is the only one being active in the learning process! The students are wanting to absorb the material through osmosis, not active involvement.
I was reading the other day about neuroplasticity. It caught my attention because I am always trying to understand how the brain "files" and "retrieves files" at a later time. If I could get my students to properly "file" the new concept I am teaching, they could "retrieve" that file when they needed the information for a test or quiz.
Neuroplasticity, or brain plasticity, is the brain's ability to reorganize neural pathways based on new experiences. Simply put, every day we experience and learn new things. In order to incorporate this new information into our brains, the brain must reorganize the way it processes that information. Thus, as we learn things, the brain changes.
Now, how in the world does this apply to you? We can change our brain or retrain our brain. This is the goal of physical therapy or speech therapy. With enough practice, your brain could more easily get to the file that it needed so that it becomes second nature to perform in this manner.
I believe that spiritually we can take advantage of this ability of our brain to learn to do things differently. I think that if I practiced "praying without ceasing," it would soon be second nature for me to pray without ceasing. If I seriously practice "rejoicing always in the Lord," it would be my first reaction(instead of my delayed reaction) to rejoice when I am hit with a unexpected pain or trial. I would like to train myself to "be thankful in everything" instead of living a life without recognizing how blessed I am. I have not experienced speech therapy but I can imagine that it is hard work and requires a strong commitment to improve. Why should I think that it will be easy for me to change the way my brain reacts when confronted with the problems of everyday life?
As I made New Year's resolutions this year, I decided I would try to work hard at retraining my brain to do the things that God commanded me to do. I am not trying to do this in my own strength. However, I will have to be a part of the prayer. Sanctification is a life-long process. It does not happen overnight. I would like to be one step closer when 2009 comes to a close.

Settling...A Dangerous Mistake

2008-11-23T17:17:00.000-08:00

The Bible has a resounding theme throughout its pages. God has a promise land for us and we need to trust Him to reach it. Sad to say, very few of us want to trust him that much. From the beginning pages of Genesis to the last word of Revelation, we see countless examples of individuals who either took God at his word or decided the cost was too high. I have been thinking a lot about the ones of us who "settle" and thereby forfeit many of the promises that God has for us.
A story that comes to mind is in Numbers, chapter 13. Moses charged 12 men, one from each of the tribes of Israel, to scope out the land PROMISED to them. There was never a question about the chosen ones taking ownership. It was just a matter of waiting on God to reveal the hows and whens and wheres. When they returned, you remember the response from 10 of the men. "We can't attack those people! They are stronger than we are!" Only Joshua and Caleb trusted God to follow through with his promise to give them the land. You know the rest of the sad story...they wander 40 years until all the doubters and naysayers died off. They chose to forfeit their promise land. They decided that God could not be trusted and they were looking for an easier way.
Back up a few books and take a peek at Abraham. In Genesis, chapter 16, Abraham and Sarai decided to settle for an heir through Sarai's maidservant, Hagar. However, when Ishmael was born, God assured Abraham that this was not the way he intended. Later he reaffirmed the promise to give Abraham and Sarai their own son. "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. Abraham took him at his word this time and Isaac was born. God never intended on settling. Too much was at stake. From this man came the descendants "as numerous as the stars and as countless as the sand."
We read in God's word that "he knew us in our mother's womb" and that "he knows the plans he has for us, plans to prosper us and not harm us." Sounds like we all have a promised land. That is not the question. The question will always be whether we want to settle for less or wait on God to deliver the real thing.
The problem with me is always that I want to believe in "the seen, rather than the unseen." The impossible, miraculous, unseen things are meant for someone else. I purposely decide to settle on something a little more in line with what I can figure out on my own. Even in my prayers, I tend to pray small. I pray for things that seem "reasonable." The times I have stepped out on a limb and prayed for all out ridiculous...I was blown away with how God showed himself to be powerful, mighty, faithful to his promises.
There is this significant thing about promises. When God promises something, he delivers. He never intends on us to settle. I love the 11th chapter in Hebrews! In verse 13 it states that "all these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised." Wait a minute...did I just say that they did not receive a promised thing? No way. The verse goes on to say that they saw them from a distance. There will be a total fulfilling of promises that will only happen when I am with the Lord. This is eternal thinking, not temporary thinking.
What areas of your life are you simply "settling?" If living your life is not requiring any faith at all, then you are DEFINITELY SETTLING! A question to ask yourself(I will ask myself, as well)...are you uncomfortable? Is your life requiring loads of prayer to get through the day? Don't settle. Stay the course. Wait on the Lord. He will blow your socks off..in this life and the life to come.

2008-10-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

When you haven't blogged in awhile, then every time you sit down to blog you begin to second guess yourself. You doubt if the blog you are about to write is worthy of anyone reading it. I decided to get past this thought and just write about stuff.
This morning I was working on my Beth Moore Bible study, Stepping Up. This is a study of fifteen books in the book of Psalms. My mind was wandering, as it often does when I have two minutes of free time. I was imagining what I would speak about if I were a famous Bible study teacher like Beth Moore. I decided that I would want all of the vast listeners(I said I was going to be a famous speaker!) to know all of my weakness right up front. I would need them to know of my imperfections, right off the bat.
We all tend to glamorize public speakers and think that they are super Christians. We imagine that they do not struggle as we do. We think that they do not have a weight problem or a jealousy problem or a gossip problem or whatever. The fact that Beth Moore asks us to lie face down and pray everyday that we are completing her Bible study makes me feel inferior to her as far as my prayer life. I do not lie face down ever when I pray and so I must not have the powerful prayer life that she does. I do not even have hours to study the Bible and pour over every principal that I would like to ponder over. I am busy every second of every day. I am way over committed and do not seem to have any margins in my life.
I say all this to make a point. God is so marvelous, oh so marvelous! He takes my weaknesses and weirdness and uses them to bring glory to His name. I really am going to name some of my many weaknesses.
1) I am so prideful and arrogant. I always think I am right...always.
2) I am jealous of all the people that seem to have free time.
3) I do not have compassion. Teaching 8th grade for so long seems to drive the compassion out. I want them to tell me the "short" version of their story about why they do not have their homework again.
4) I am judgemental. I would have been a Pharisee. I love rules!
5) I am black and white, no gray areas.
That being said, I wonder why I have any friends at all. If I do have a friend it is because of this marvelous God I am in love with. Listen to what He does.
When I grow closer to God and really abide with him daily, he reveals my horrible weaknesses. In John 16:15 Jesus said, "you justify yourself in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight." I DO NOT want to be detested by God!
He gives me a new perspective on "free time." He takes away the jealousy and reveals to me that my life is all about giving away my time, my money, my energy. Try to die broke, all used up, no regrets, etc. I won't be at my death bed thinking that I wished I had been blessed with more free time, more money to remodel, more expensive trips. Instead I would be wishing that I would have invested more in eternal things that involved giving my money away, giving my time away, and giving my heart away.
As far as the judgemental side of me, he changes my perspective and constantly reveals my wretchedness, my need for a Saviour. He shows me that I am comparing myself to others, instead of to His holy nature! That slaps me in the face and gets me kicked off the pedestal really quick.
One more thing I realize about myself. In John, chapter 1, Philip ran to find his brother, Nathaniel. He tells him that he has found the Messiah! Nathaniel answers him with this arrogant statement, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" Nathaniel answered the same way I would have. He thinks that Philip could not possibly be right. Thank goodness the story continues. Philip humbly answers,"Just come and see for yourself." Nathaniel comes face to face with the Saviour, the Messiah, the Son of God and gets knocked off his pedestal. God, keep knocking me down to my knees. I am going to miss so much of the goodness of life if I think I know it all.

Who Do You Cry To?

2008-09-08T17:58:00.000-07:00

Hosea 7:14a "They do not cry out to me from their hearts but wail upon their beds."

Wow, I was reading from Hosea this morning and I stopped when I read this verse. Listen to what it says. I will paraphrase…
When I am crying out in pain or confusion or suffering…I sometimes do not even cry to the right source. God is accusing Israel of wailing upon their bed because of their captivity, but they do not cry out to him from their hearts.
What a revealing statement! You know what you turn to first and it is not always your heavenly Father.
The prophets call this what it is…idols! Israel turned to idols that they had made to solve their worries. Idols are what you worship. My first response to a problem that causes me to “wail” is often to turn to others or mind numbing entertainment or shopping or whatever. Those are my idols.
Think of the last time you were going through a bad time in your life. Maybe it involved finances, a broken relationship, health issues, you name it. To "wail upon our bed" could be a literal wailing or just experiencing a pain with no hope, no end in sight. God is asking us "How long will you wait until you cry out from your heart to me?" How long will it take for us to completely turn to the one who has the solution?
When we pray to God, do we think of him as human, like us? We need to realize, deep in our being, that we are asking help from someone who is NOTHING like us. Can't you just imagine that God is watching us with utter amazement, thinking "Why are you turning to some wooden idol to solve your problem, when you could be turning to me?"
Notice that he said to cry from our hearts and not our mind. Our minds may rationalize that just because we can't see a solution in sight, it must be hopeless. Learn to pray for the unseen, not the seen. Our minds can't grasp the unseen...a heart that trusts in a mighty God can see the future through his eyes. He will keep us in that perfect peace if our heart is stayed on him.

Third Alternative Thinking

2008-08-26T18:10:00.000-07:00

I am not sure who coined the phrase "third alternative thinking." I want to explain what it means, if case you have never heard of it before. It is a very powerful concept.
I am going to explain it using dieting terms because that is the way I am most familiar. If you don't like the size that you are, you have one choice. You can eat less calories and exercise more. You will either choose this alternative and be successful or you will not change a thing and not lose weight. Only two alternatives exist...change your habits and lose weight or don't change a thing and do not lose weight. Some people decide that there is a "third alternative." They can eat the same way and lose weight. This possibility DOES NOT EXIST. However, people pretend that it does.
I tell my students the same thing. If you want to improve your grades, you must make changes in your study habits. If you do not want to change, your grade will not change. Many of my students want to improve their grades, but they do not want to study more. That is third alternative thinking, which does not exist. The only two alternatives are to change your study habits(and your grade will improve) or do not change a thing(and your grade will not improve).
Do you find yourself using "third alternative thinking" sometimes? I do it all the time. I want to lose 10 pounds but I eat a slice of Friendship Bread. I say,"Oh,it won't matter." I want to save money but I buy some new clothes. I rationalize that I will just save next month. This is third alternative thinking. Unless I actively change a behaviour, nothing will change.
The dangerous thing is that we apply this principal to our spiritual life. We want to be closer to the LORD, but we do not want to make any changes. We want to become prayer warriors, but we don't really want to spend any more time in prayer. We want to know what God is like, but we don't want to get up early and spend time reading the Bible. We want to live abundant, changed, joy filled lives...but we do not want to trust God with all of our trials. We want to conquer areas of sin in our lives, but we do not want to wake up everyday and put on the "full armour" of God. What are we thinking? We have got to quit living in la-la land. We need to confront what we are doing. There is no third alternative.
Jesus puts it plainly, "Deny yourself or don't claim to be following after me!" Choose life or choose death. Choose trust or choose fear. Choose to lose your life and gain the whole world or gain the whole world and lose your life. Quit making up third options that do not exist.
Keep this in mind...the painful, difficult, risky options are not chosen very much because the reward comes much later. I can't see it right away. It is not instant. When I choose eat a brownie, I get an instant reward. The painful consequence does not hit me until later when I check the scales to see if I lost a pound. If I decide not to eat the brownie, I get the painful consequence immediately. The reward will be much later.
Same with the Christian walk. If I choose to wake up early and spend time in God's word, I will suffer at that time by being very sleepy. But over time, I will get the beautiful reward of really knowing who God is. Payday is slower when you make the right choice. But the rewards are out of this world!

A Sweet Story

2008-08-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone loves a sweet story. I want to tell you about my mother-in-law, Betty. She was widowed at about age 50. I had seen Mark's father a couple of times before he died of a sudden heart attack. We were dating at the time and not engaged yet. Most of my married life, Mark's mom was a widow.
Almost 11 years ago, she attended her 50th high school reunion. A high school friend, named O.W. Miller, was also attending. You may be interested in the fact that O.W. had asked Betty to her high school prom but she had already accepted a date. Both had gone their separate ways. O.W.had been a widower for many years following the death of his wife.
Well, O.W. drove three hours to see Betty following that reunion. At the time, she had a male salesman at her home. O.W. mistakenly thought the salesman was a current boyfriend. He turned around and drove home without stopping to see Betty.
Fast forward to the 51st high school reunion the following year. Betty made it clear that she was NOT dating anyone. She and O.W. began calling each other nightly and talking for hours. O.W. would take Betty to Mississippi State baseball games. My mother-in-law going to a college baseball game???
After a whirlwind courtship, they were married. They have recently celebrated their 10th anniversary. Last weekend, we drove to Memphis to help celebrate Betty's 80th birthday. I am including a few pictures from that precious event. Betty is recovering from a year of chemotherapy and radiation after being diagnosed with breast cancer. God is so good and His plans can make you smile!
This is a picture of Mark and I, my sons, their wives and Betty.

Mark and I, standing with Betty.

President Bush and Luara Bush sent her a birthday card!

Some of O.W.'s family and most of Betty's family were able to attend.

What Do I Boast In?

2008-08-11T11:08:00.000-07:00

In Jeremiah 9:23-24, it dismantles some popular thinking about where to find our value. "The LORD says: Let not the wise man bask in his wisdom, nor the mighty man in his might,nor the rich man in his riches. Let them boast in this alone. That they truly know me, and understand that I am the LORD of justice and of righteousness whose love is steadfast; and that I love to be this way." Just sit in a group of people telling stories and you will quickly observe that everyone wants to boast about something. Even though I talk a lot in a group setting, I am by far the quietest one in my school lunch group. I eat lunch with a group of people that love to tell stories about their lives and try to "better" every one's story. I love these folks but they definitely can top my story any day.
What is interesting is what we all tend to boast in. I am thinking that God carefully chose his examples. This passage specifically mentioned wisdom, might and riches. The world highly values wisdom, might and riches! The world does not value the thoughts of a child(not wise enough), a weak person or a poor person. These categories of people need to depend on others. They are considered needy. They need someone to take care of them. Get the picture? I think I understand why God is pleading with the rich, wise or mighty people to not consider that something to find their value in. Those are the very things that cause them to not depend on Him.
So what does God want me to boast in? "That they truly know me." I have mentioned this so many times in my blog but it bears repeating. You can never truly know God without spending hours in His word. There is no substitute. You do not truly know God through hearsay or listening to a pastor or listening to your parents talk about God. If you are not disciplining yourself to spend time in the word, you are vulnerable to Satan's attacks. You will not know when he is lying to you.You will not know how mighty to save that our God is. God says boast or find value that "you truly know him."
Jeremiah also states that we need to "understand that I am the LORD of justice and righteousness." Sit on that fact for a minute. The world thinks erroneously that God will send everyone to heaven. In the newspaper a few days ago, I read an article concerning evangelical Christians, The author was pleased to report that many Christians now believe that they are not the only ones going to heaven.Trusting Jesus as Lord and Saviour is no longer the way,the truth and the light, according to the writer.
But God is not that way. God brings judgement on sin with an iron fist. When you read the Bible from cover to cover,your perception of God as non-judgemental will be shattered. Society preaches to our kids to be accepting of all sin and all beliefs. God is not like that at all. He brings judgement! However, remember he is the all-knowing judge who judges with fairness. He loves righteousness. We must know this about God. He does not ignore sin. He loves when I do the right thing and make right decisions.
The best is last..."his love is steadfast and he loves to be that way!" I cannot think of a thing to add. That is something to boast in...that God loves to be loving towards me.

What Do You Boast In?

2008-08-04T06:57:00.000-07:00

I believe that we all have something about ourselves that we "boast" in. If we do not, then we are desperately searching for that item. It is human nature to cling to the one area that we can truly "boast" about. Child psychologists strongly recommend that you get your child involved in things that they can be confident about. This will help them weather the adolescent years when their self esteem is under fierce attack.
We say to ourselves, "I am not as beautiful as I would like to be, but at least I am athletic or smart or rich, etc." Human nature seems to compel us to find our value by what we have to offer to society. We place greater value on those who have more to offer. Is this wrong?
In Jeremiah 9:23-24, "The LORD says: Let not the wise man bask in his wisdom, nor the mighty man in his might, not the rich man in his riches. Let them boast in this alone: That they truly know me, and understand that I am the Lord of justice and of righteousness whose love is steadfast; and that I love to be this way." God always surprises us with His perspective. That is why, deep down, I always say, "If the world thinks this way, God thinks the opposite."
This is hard to take. When we spend our whole lives carefully building our self-esteem to the point where we finally feel good about ourselves 99% of the time...and God throws a curve ball. I hate that sometimes. I like to get my life together and feel good about it for the next ten or twenty years. I want to boast about myself. It took a lot of work to find something to boast about. I do not naturally have anything that the world would look at and admire...no beauty, riches, power, etc.
But there is good news. In fact, it is fantastic news! When God dismantles a false idea, he replaces it with an out-of-this world truth. I do NOT have to find my value in beauty or riches or the world's wisdom! What a relief! Probably not good news for the beauty queens or Bill Gates. That concept would not resonate very well with them if you told them this nugget of truth. But truth is truth. You can't change it just because you don't agree with it.
So why is this so exciting? Because there is something very precious to boast about. Everyone can boast about it...not just a select few. Verse 24 says, "Let them boast in me alone!" God is enough to boast about! Again, you must look at this with spiritual eyes and not the deceiving colored glasses of society. Picture a rich and powerful man who does not know the LORD. Next to him place a financially struggling young man who has decided that Jesus Christ alone is LORD of his life and is passionate in his pursuit of him. Society will find no value in the poor man, but will quote the rich man and will desire to know his "secrets to success." But who has actually has something to boast about? The man who has access to the creator of the universe! He can "walk boldly before the throne of grace" anytime he wants. God has invited him to "ask for wisdom" anytime he needs it. God has reminded the poor man that he owns the "cattle on a thousand hills." I would rather be hooked up with the poor man anyday. He has more to boast about.
I haven't done a cliff-hanger in a few weeks. My next blog will continue with the way to find our value.

Ode to My Daughter-in-Laws

2008-07-31T16:08:00.000-07:00

I was reading Proverbs 31 the other day for the millionth time. Usually I try to squeeze out any little morsel of wisdom that I want to apply to my life. However, this time, I read it through different eyes. I thought about my sweet daughter-in-laws and was amazed at the resemblance.
Mark and I prayed for godly wives for our sons for years! By the way, we also asked for our sons to be in love with the Bible and live by its wisdom as if their life depended on it. We cared more about their hearts than we cared about their grades, their athletic successes, their popularity, etc. God answered a huge prayer request. Both of our sons got married this past year!
I want to devote a blog to telling you about the precious girls that they married.
Luke is married to Cherish.

Ben is married to Lynn.

Are they adorable or what?

Proverbs 31 says that if "you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems." Both of our sons found a truly good wife.

"Her husband can trust her and she will richly satisfy his needs."
Wow! Ben and Luke trust their wives and know that they will be faithful to them and will delight them through the years with their adorable personalities.

"She will not hinder him, but will help him all of her life." Understatement!!! Lynn and Cherish are more devoted to my sons'success than they are their own.

"She buys wool and flax and busily spins it." I realize that they do not buy much wool or flax, but I love the way these amazing women have taken care of their homes and made it a nice place to come home to.

"She is energetic and a hard worker." Both Lynn and Cherish work 40 hours a week, are very active in their ministries at church and manage to cook, do laundry and keep their home clean. Wow!

"She sews for the poor and generously helps those in need." Lynn was recently involved in The Houston Project. She went out every night for a week and shared the gospel to those in need. Read all about it on her blog. Cherish provided peanut butter cookies and drinks to the men who stand on Cooper Street waiting on a daily job. Both of these godly women have a compassionate heart for the poor.They live it on a daily basis.

"She is a woman of strength and dignity." I love the way my sweet daughter-in-laws dress and conduct themselves with dignity. They have an inner strength that comes from the LORD.

"When she speaks, her words are wise and kindness is the rule for everything she says." I love to hear what Lynn and Cherish have to say. Because they study the Bible on a daily basis, they speak truth and wisdom. I know that there are many girls that would not pass the next test...being kind. Girls can be downright mean at times. I have NEVER heard Lynn or Cherish gossip or make hateful comments about others. People that know them would characterize them as incredibly sweet natured.

"Her children stand and bless her and so does her husband, He praises her with these words.There are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all."
I am anxious to say that my future grandchildren will stand and bless their moms! However, I know that my sons feel that they have been given a gift from God.
Their In-laws think that they are beautiful, clever, and wise beyond their years. They have brought joy and happiness to our sons. I am so thankful that God wisely chose these girls to marry our sons.

Empty Stables

2008-07-30T15:02:00.000-07:00

I have always loved this verse from Proverbs 14. "An empty stable stays clean...but there is no income from an empty stable." It is such a simple concept and yet it speaks to each of us in different ways.
For example, my empty stable could be my home. I have always thought that God is interested in the place that we chose to live. We prayed much over the choice of buying a home when we moved to Texas and know that this particular house was the right choice for us. We have made many changes but one thing has not changed, it is a home for God's use and not ours. If we did not open our home to guests, our carpet would not be stained, our furniture would not sag in the middle, and there would be no scratches on our wood floor. In other words, our empty stable would be clean. But we would miss the harvest that follows. We would miss the opportunity to invest. The whole point of a stable is to provide housing for animals. The whole point of our possessions is to provide things that God can use. How foolish to long for an empty, clean stable that no one has "messed up" or "used up."
For some folks the empty stable could be our calendar. It is a thrill to see more free time in our busy lives. I am not saying that we do not need a time to relax and replenish. I am saying that it is tempting to look at a calendar and want to hoard the time for our own pursuits...our own amusements.
I heard a speaker say that we need to invest our days and not spend our days. I am guilty of spending my day recklessly and not investing my day into things that will count for eternity. Our churches are filled with people that spend their time on themselves and do not invest their time in service. The empty stable to them is a clean calendar, but when there is no messy acts of service(and service does get messy) there is also no eternal rewards. The point of our time is investing in eternal things and not an empty calendar to spend on our time on ourselves. "Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should."
The saddest empty stable is the empty heart. Many people do not take the risk of giving away our heart. It seems safer to keep our distance. We throw ourselves into our jobs, our recreation, or our next meal. We go to great lengths to shield ourselves from pain. But an empty heart yields no income. I realize that getting my heart filled up will be messy and scary. But the income will be worth the mess that is created.
The next time you are tempted to take the safe way of an empty stable, reconsider. An empty stable yields no income, no rewards.

Above All Else, Guard Your Affections!

2008-07-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

"Above all else, guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life." Proverbs 4:23
Strong words from King Solomon. I think it is worth spending some time, thinking more about this topic if it is going to influence EVERYTHING else in our life. For the sake of simplicity, let's think of the word affections as obsessions. Ask yourself "What are you obsessed with?" What do you spend the most time thinking about? Many things come to mind.It could be your current boyfriend or girlfriend. Other obsessions include money, possessions, eating, appearance, drugs, alcohol,video games, sex,or even sleep. Some of these in itself are not bad things. However, you can take each area and easily see how an unhealthy obsession in any of these areas can truly influence everything else in your life. Before reading anything else, think about what is your main area of obsession? Be honest.
Next, ask yourself this question...are you secretive about this affection or obsession? Remember to fear areas of your life where you are wanting to keep secrets. I am not advocating to post an ad in The New York Times and confess your sins. However, infections, wounds, injuries must be brought into the open to heal. Sometimes a cut that did not heal properly must be cut open again and cleaned up in order to heal. Always, a red light should go off if you are wanting to do things in secret.Satan is the ruler of darkness, not light.
I want to stop and give an example in my own life. I will look foolish and uncool, but I am fairly sure that I am already foolish and uncool. One of my strongholds is eating too much, which leads to obsessing over my appearance which leads to low self-esteem, which affects my ministry, etc. Satan always seems to spiral our problems. However, this enforces the idea of that our affections always influence our life in many other areas.
Also, overweight people tend to eat stuff in "secret." We would not want to be seen eating a handful of cookies. Get the point?
Let's say that you have identified your area(you may have more than one) and you have observed that you tend to keep it secret, but that you want to change. What would your next step be? Obviously, you need to bring it before the Lord. We cannot change ourselves, no matter how hard we try. He can change us because he is almighty God.
I do believe that one of the first things you need to do after confessing to God, is find a person to be accountable to. Accountability is a powerful tool. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, it talks about how "two can accomplish more than twice as much as one." It goes on to say that"if a man falls when he is alone, who will pull him up?" Our older son, Ben, met with an accountability partner every single week, all through college. They committed themselves that they would not miss this important time. Back to my eating problem. I joined a "fat class" about 6 years ago and I am committed to it. I don't miss. Losing weight affected so many other areas of my life in a positive way.
Observe what the world is obsessed with and choose the opposite. The world sets it heart on power, I want to seek lowliness.The world sets its goal on outer beauty, I want to go inward. the world says to hoard your money for yourself, I want to give it away.The world says do not deny yourself anything. Jesus says, "Deny yourself and follow me." Eat when you want to, whatever you want. I want to eat in moderation. Have sex when you want...do not wait for marriage. Hmmn, bad idea. Have an abortion when you want...it is your right.
Have you ever noticed how people who are in favor of abortions think that they are non-conformists? In reality, they are simply following the crowd. That is why the verse at the top of blog is my all-time favorite. "Do not be conformed to this world!!!" The most wonderful thing happens when we do not conform to this world. We become transformed by the renewing of our minds. We prove that God's ways are perfect! Guard your heart above all else.

My Next Blog

2008-07-13T21:33:00.000-07:00

I cannot understand how I can be off for the summer and be busier than during the school year. Days go by and I have no time to be on the computer. However, I have some more stuff to share about "guarding our affections" and I have already outlined it in my mind. I will post a blog tomorrow NO MATTER WHAT. I guess I am just telling that to myself because I do not think that anyone is checking this site everyday just to see if I added a new blog:):):) But just in case my sister,Pam, is checking everyday...I will post again tomorrow.

More pictures

2008-07-09T13:44:00.000-07:00

I "cheated" a little here. This picture was not actually from the cookout. This was another college party at our house. I just wanted a picture of John, Steven and Kent somewhere on this blog.

This is a picture of our fearless leader, James Myers.

Jason is wearing Mark's swimsuit.

Pool volleyball was a big hit.

More pool volleyball.

More party people.

Grant's birthday was the same day of the party so we celebrated.

My good friend, Jake Kaylor, showed me how to do pictures on my blog. I knew how to add them...I just did not know how to arange them. I look forward to school starting again because I eat lunch with Jake everyday. His wife's blog is under "favorite blogging friends."

College Cookout

2008-07-07T18:47:00.001-07:00

I wanted to show off some of my favorite people...my college kids! We had a cookout for July 4th and over 60 people came. This is Albert and I. He makes me look better in a picture.

Austin is actually not in college but we let him slip in to the cookout because he is so adorable.

This is R.B., Rod and Leigh Bryant, Bruce Scharnhorst, his daughter LaRae and Charlie Anderson sitting by the pool talking. Some of my favorite people in the world!

Morgan and Corey are new college freshman.

As are Nicole,Allyson, and Elizabeth.

Michelle, Travis and Seth are hanging out.

Elizabeth is a fantastic pool volleyball player. Kaycee supplies all my summer reading material.

Kaylee and Matt are eating desert in the kitchen.

In case you can't tell, I think I am the luckiest person alive to be able to hang out with such incredible people. I believe that God has his hand on this group of students and to watch him work in their lives in nothing short of amazing!

Guard Your Affections

2008-07-05T09:09:00.000-07:00

The cliff hanger of my last blog was "sex." Before you write this topic off and say that you are married, female, older, whatever... I want you to know that the principals of this topic apply to anyone.Since I am writing mainly to my college group(that I love dearly), I wanted to choose a topic that 18-25 year old students may battle with.
In July, I read and meditate on the book of Proverbs. Remember that June is Psalms month. August and September are the books of the prophets. Then...October I finally reach the New Testament! It is my reward for staying the course all year.
Anyway, the book of Proverbs is the most readable book for Christians and non-Christians alike. No one I have ever met comes even close to the wise counsel found in the book of Proverbs. In the Proverbs 4:20-22, it says, "Listen, son of mine, to what I say. Listen carefully. Keep these thoughts ever in your mind; let them penetrate deep within your heart, for they mean real life for you, and radiant health." I don't know about you but I want real life. I want the most exciting life I can have. I don't want to miss a thing. If you are interested, keep reading.
Verse 23 goes on to say, "Above all else guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life!" I want to elaborate on that topic at a later blog, but for today I will apply this wisdom only to our affections regarding the opposite sex.
I heard a great message a few weeks ago at Ben and Lynn's church, FBC Houston. Greg Mott stated that when he works with college students, he assumes a problem with pornography. This is where I will lose some of you but hang in there. The ongoing obsession with pornography in our world today is not new. It is as old as the Proverbs. Solomon wants his son to "guard his affections." Solomon saw first hand the devastating consequences of not guarding one's affections. His father, King David, committed adultery with Bathsheba, his brother Prince Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar, and his brother Absalom slept on the rooftop with every one of his father's wives to shame his father. He had first hand knowledge of the result of not guarding your affections!
Solomon knew that to live a "real life" filled to the brim with God's blessings, to impact countless lives, to walk in freedom from guilt, to possess power to change the world around you...you must guard your affections like you would guard a truck from Fort Knox filled with gold bars. The strength of a man is the ability to control his passions. A weak man is one who does not deny himself anything his body craves. That is not the mark of a free man. That is Satan's lie.Satan will tempt you to give in and when you do, he will be your biggest accuser! How wrong is that? He lures you and then condemns you.
This message applies to girls as well. Being a female, I know that our heart craves attention and we want attention no matter what it costs us. When we dress in a seductive manner, we aren't fooling anyone but ourselves. When we post pictures of ourselves on Facebook,our motives are clear. We want attention, even inappropriate attention. Girls, do not think you are not kidding anyone. You dress yourself. No one chooses what you were. You intentionally plan what message you want to send by what you wear and what pictures you post. Proverbs is warning you that your choices influence everything else in your life. Your choices influence the marriage you will have.
Always remember that your knight in shining armour is the Lord. He rescues you, redeems you, tells you your worth, adores you, thinks you are beautiful..you don't need to impress him with your outward appearance. He is more interested in your heart. Delight yourself in him and he will give you the desires of your heart.
After being married for 30 years to a guy, I still haven't a clue about guys. I am not pretending to understand a guy's heart. However, the Bible says that the "heart is deceitful above all else." To blindly follow your affections and allow yourself to indulge in whatever behavior you feel called to participate is deceitful. You are deceived by the great deceiver and he will not rescue you when you fall. He only condemns.
This blog is not meant to add to your guilt. It is to shed light on schemes of the enemy. Greg Mott also said in his message, "Be afraid of the dark!" Be very afraid of staying in the dark with your computer, staying in the dark about what your intentions are about your way of dressing, girls! Get it out in the light. Expose it to the "Sonlight." Get some accountability. However, refuse, absolutely refuse to lay down in guilt when Satan condemns you. He wants you to believe that there is not a cure for your sickness. "In Christ there is no condemnation." He only comes "to give life and give it abundantly. " Wow, thank goodness that real life is not about my power but His power.

God's Favorite Child

2008-07-02T08:13:00.000-07:00

In this blog, I want to throw out some ideas that I have been struggling with concerning my value in God's eyes balanced with my selfish nature and my desire to "be valued." I have pointed out how dangerous it is to form your own views of God as opposed to searching the scriptures to see who he really is. There are so many verses to make the case for how precious we are in God's sight. For example, in Psalms 90:13, "For he orders his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will steady you with their hands to keep you from stumbling against the rocks on the trail." (TLB) That one is pretty cool. In Psalms 84:11, "No good thing will he withhold from those who walk along his paths." "You are my mighty protector" or "You are the lifter of my head." I could go on for days to support the idea that God values us more than we can comprehend.
However, if that is all I know then my prayers will reflect only that knowledge. Listen to yourself when you pray. Do you prayers consist of only petitions? I have noticed this in my own prayers lately. I sound like a spoiled child. During the month of June, I read and meditate on the book of Psalms. It is impossible to read the Psalms and not bow lower and lower and want to close my mouth and simply sit in awe of God's majesty. My prayers begin to change. I spend most of the time talking about how mighty and matchless and limitless God is.
Imagine it like this. If you have a great relationship with your earthly father this will be easier to imagine. Picture yourself talking with your dad and making a request known to him. If it is a something that he can easily afford and will not harm you, you feel confident in asking. I am going to twist it a little here. What if you have a lot of siblings and your dad is very wealthy? There will be a temptation to get jealous of what the other siblings receive. You will want everything to be totally fair and you may end up whining if they are not fair to each sibling. It would be easy to be very self-centered and ask for many things that you don't really need just because you know your dad can afford it and your sibling received the same things.
That is the part I am struggling with right now. When I look around at what my friends have, it is easy to become a little perturbed at God because I think I need the same thing that they have received. After all, I am valued. I am God's favorite, aren't I? I am not merely talking about material things. If one of your friends has what you perceive as a great marriage or an enviable dating relationship, then you are mad at God because he has not given you the same thing. If another friend has been given recognition or talents that are applauded and you think that you have been given lesser gifts, you may be a little jealous.When you have a friend who son is valedictorian and your child is in resource math, you may wonder why they have been more in God's favor. If your family is struck with cancer, you can't help but question God and wonder why you are not being blessed with good health. These are heart-wrenching questions. And the temptation may be to focus more on my attributes and how I am "worthy" rather than simply focus more on God's attributes and how he is worthy.
Back to my prayers...I think that I need to spend much of my time praising God for his many attributes that simply boggle my mind. I need to meditate on the "relationship" with my heavenly father rather than the "resources" that my father can provide. Go back to the human relationship I mentioned earlier. If my sons came over and just wanted to be with us, ask for wisdom, laugh with us, let us bless them with every good thing we can...we would have a healthier relationship than if they saw us as a Santa Claus, giver of wishes. Don't miss the obvious here. Yes, we are valued by God more than we could comprehend, more than any earthly parent could ever value a child. But the focus has to be on God and not us. Be honest with yourself. You are self-centered! In my 8th grade math class, my name is said one hundred times an hour. My students want my attention right then and now when they need help, when they have a question and they do not want to wait on me to finish helping another student. I often say in frustration, "Do I look like I am sitting at my desk, drink a cup of cappuccino? Let me finish helping this student."
Listen to your prayers. Do they sound like that? Do you sound like a selfish child who gets right to the point? "I want this because they have this!" When I spend time praising God and mentioning all the things I love about him...I almost forget to ask him for anything. And when I do ask him, I feel confident that I am asking a father who can do anything he chooses, who can afford anything I ask for, who can always give me way more than I ask for. It is a subtle change but a necessary change so that we can enjoy the relationship God wants to have with his precious child.
Cliff-hanger...I want to talk about sex. Thought that would get your attention. Later, gator!

How Do You Expect God to Be?

2008-06-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

I almost regret that I have started blogging. The way that I approach blogging puts a lot of pressure on me. I do not want to write about what I am doing. I want to write about what God is saying to me. I HUGELY enjoy reading other's blogs about what they are doing because it is a way of seeing how God is working in their life. I have simply not felt that that is how I want to write my blog. Therefore, I dread each time that I have to write because of the pressure of what to say. No slacking whatsoever!
That being said, I loved, loved, loved what I read this morning in Psalms 147. Let me also add a parentheses here and explain something. Mark and I read through the Bible every year. One of the main reasons that I love June is because I am out of school and because I am reading through the book of Psalms during the month of June...every year...for about 25 years. Okay, back to Psalms 147.
It says "The speed of a horse is nothing to him. How puny in his sight is the strength of a man. But his joy is in those who reverence him, those who expect him to be loving and kind." Doesn't that blow you away? You want to see God smiling? Reverence him and simply expect him to be loving and kind.
We all have different expectations of God. I have said this several blogs ago but it bears repeating. The most dangerous thing you can do is to make up your own version of God. Back in Psalms 135 it says,"The heathen worship idols of gold and silver made by men - idols with speechless mouths and sightless eyes and ears that cannot hear; they cannot even breathe. Those who make them become like them. And so do all who trust in them." When we expect God to be weak(like us) to be limited in knowledge(like us) to be limited in strength(like us) to take safe, predictable risks(like us) then that is what our life will be like. When our god is weak and human, then we settle for a life that is boring, depressing and at best, manageable. When we catch a glimpse of His glory and realize that He is NOTHING like us, we will pray differently and expect great things because we asking God Almighty to intervene.
We were reminded yesterday in our church service of the important of putting the Word of God as the highest priority in out life. Satan has lulled us into a false sense of security when we think that we can get by without reading God's word. When we don't read God's word, we do not ever figure out who God is. So when we pray to God we imagine him to be human and limited like us. In fact, if you are reading this blog, and do not know Christ as your Saviour, I would like to tell you why you may not be taking that step of faith. You imagine God as like you. You cannot imagine that he could add anything to your existence because he is just like you. You think that he thinks like you and provides out of a limited budget, with limited power and limited knowledge like you have. You reason that if you can't figure out your life's problems, how can God figure out your life's problems. I say that with tenderness and compassion because we are all like that to some extent. By God's mercy, he showed me that he is not at all like me. By spending time in God's word, I am constantly learning how He really is and not how I imagine him to be.
So back to the original thought. The more we read about God and how he operates, the more we understand that he is loving and kind and not a god who is ready to pounce on us at the slightest mistake. I would be heartbroken if my two sons viewed Mark and I as parents who cannot be trusted. If they came to us with a request or a problem, we would move heaven and earth to try to help them out. I hope that they expect us to be loving and kind to them. Since we are imperfect parents, how much more so will God hear my cry for grace and mercy and be loving and kind towards me. In Psalms 56, it says,"You have collected all my tears and preserved them in your bottle! You have recorded every one in your book." I can guarantee that Mark does not collect my tears and record every one in a book and Mark loves me a lot. So God is infinitely more loving and kind than my own husband.
I could go on and on about how important it is to stay in Gods word so that we can read about how loving and kind he is. I desire that this idea is so immersed in my mind, that God looks on me with joy because I EXPECT Him to be that way and not just because I hope he is that way!

Trust Him in Times of Trouble

2008-06-24T17:02:00.000-07:00

"No I don't need your sacrifices. What I want from you is your true thanks; I want your promises fulfilled. I want you to trust me in your times of trouble so I can rescue you and you can give me glory." Psalms 50: 13-15(TLB)
Even though difficult, I believe I can almost handle the first two...giving true thanks to God and keeping my promises. However, without a doubt, to trust God in times of trouble is a little like jumping off a cliff with no assurance of what the jump will bring. What exactly is a "time of trouble?" I believe that it is a time of testing.
As a classroom teacher, I use testing to assess if any learning has taken place. I may spend a week on a topic in math and then I will announce the dreaded test that we will be having in a few days. There will be several different responses. There are always a few kids that do not dread the test at all. They have had lots of positive successes in the past with math. They always ace the math test so they do not fear a test. They may fear a science test but never math.
There are other students who become sick with fear. They have mostly failed their math tests and do not expect that this time will be any different. They may know much of what is on the test but they freeze up on test day and cannot perform.
Then there is the response of the majority of the class. They simply do not care. They hope they do well but it is not the end of the world if they don't. I love all the different responses and like to think about the reason behind their thinking. I love teaching 8th grade so much, in case I have not mentioned this!
There are many different responses to a time of testing in our life. It depends on the nature of the test and how comfortable the material is to us. If Mark and I faced a time of financial testing, it would not bother us as much as it might someone else. We do not value material things and have lived with much less than we have now. We are more comfortable with a financial test than a test involving our children. When God allows my children to be tested, I want to fear and not trust God with the outcome. I want to control the outcome and not allow God to receive the glory. I have to fight past the fear and take captive every thought that comes into my mind from Satan that would cause me to doubt the ability of God to handle the situation.
An interesting thing to realize is that God brings the test into our lives that we need the most help with. He is the perfect teacher because he understands my strengths and my weaknesses. He wants me to trust that he is good all the time and will allow times of trouble in my life because he is interested my holiness and not my happiness.
I remember this event as if it was yesterday. I was so in love with Mark in college and I was not sure where our relationship was heading. He asked another girl to homecoming, instead of me and I cried for two days. Then I had a light come on in my head. I realized that I wanted to trust God with the outcome of this relationship. I wanted to trust him BEFORE the outcome was known. I wanted to be thankful and allow him to decide, not me. It was the beginning of a lifetime of trusting God in the "unseen and not the seen." I have been through some times of trouble that are too personal to share on a blog. Let me assure you that I struggled with this request of God to "trust him in times of trouble so he could get the glory." I wanted to handle it myself. I am glad that he keeps testing me and helping me to learn how trustworthy he is.
I wanted to go back and talk about the group that do not care if a test is being given. Many Christians are not interested in the test, in being tested, in passing a test, etc. They blame God if they fail, they ignore God if they pass. If you find yourself in this category, give me a call. You are missing the point. It is a paradox. The Abrahams of this world who pass the biggest tests are the ones who gain the whole world.

Keeping Our Promises

2008-06-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

If you read Tuesday's blog, you know that God wants some surprising things from us. Instead of the sacrificial things that we choose to offer, he says," I don't need those. Thanks anyway but I have everything I need already." This is against the common thinking of the Christian. It is against my thinking, to tell the truth. I love, love, love to be legalistic. Give me a rule, like go to church every Sunday, give 10% to the church, don't drink alcohol, don't do drugs, ...and I can mindlessly follow it. But this verse is telling me that God is not interested in those sacrifices. I am thinking "What in the world does he want?"
He tells us clearly in Psalms 50:14-15. He wants us to truly be thankful for all he has done, fulfill our promises and trust him in times of trouble so he can rescue us and we can give him glory.
Look with me at the second part of this request...fulfill our promises. I had to get up and walk around a lot when I got to this part. I told God that I was really going to look foolish if I could not come to grips with the reason behind that request. I believe the reason that this one is hard to wrap our minds around is because God is far beyond our thinking as far as making a promise and keeping a promise. In the Old Testament, his covenant with David to "always have his descendants on the throne" is mind-boggling. Who else do you know that can guarantee something like that? God makes an amazing promise with Abraham that he would give him so many descendants that they could not be counted. There are entire books written that compile all of the promises that God has made and he keeps every single one!
I think that most of us make very small promises and we keep them, unless we can't because of an unforeseen circumstance or maybe if we just don't feel like keeping that promise anymore. To us a promise is not that big of a deal.
I got to thinking about when does keeping a promise become a big deal to us. I will give you some clues. Think about the last time you saw a romantic movie and the guy goes off to war and promises the love of his life that he will return. He promises her that he will. He is going to keep that promise no matter what and then there is this tearful scene when he returns and he whispers to her,"I promised you I would return." Maybe you have heard a story about a father that promises their child that he will take care of them , no matter what. What do these two situations have in common? Why do you feel like you would keep your promise in these two situations? You probably guessed it...the depth of love that is involved in the person making the promise. The bigger the commitment to keep the promise, the deeper the love is of the promise-keeper. That is why God takes promise keeping so seriously. It shows the depth of his love. Love is dependable, faithful, unchanging. Our love for God should be like that, not up and down, love him only when convenient, etc.
You are probably seeing, like I am, that God is not interested in sacrifices that do not involve our heart. To be truly thankful and really interested in keeping my commitments to "love the LORD my God above all other Gods, to love my neighbor as myself" it will involve my heart. God is wise enough to know that sacrifices can be made without having a changed heart.
When we make a vow to wait on the LORD, to trust him with all our understanding, to let him direct our paths, it will involve a heart sold-out to the LORD. Again, we want to break our promise if we do not see God bringing a mate into out lives on our timetable. This is a heart problem. We decide to not wait any longer on the LORD. Heart problem. Stop trusting him. Heart problem. The solution is to get our heart problem fixed by the "heart-fixer" and not go back to the "meaningless sacrifices."

What God Really Wants

2008-06-17T06:35:00.000-07:00

There is a scripture passage in Psalms that always arrests my attention when I read it.
It in Psalms 50. In this chapter God is summoning all mankind to hear something that he has to say. He is bringing charges against them. The picture is that of a judge in a courtroom. Let me add something here. The reason you need to read the Bible over and over again is because if you don't, you will have some misconceptions of who God really is. You will form your opinion based on other people's opinions or even worse, your own warped ideas of what you think he is like. You need to know the truth about His character.
One of the most vital truths is that he is a perfect judge. In Daniel chapter 7, the Bible speaks of him as the "Ancient of Days," as he sits down to judge. To be the ancient of days is to be a judge that knows the past, present and even future of every person is is to be judged. Just think of that...He is the PERFECT judge. He knows EVERY fact about everything.
Back to Psalms...he begins by stating that he has no complaint about their sacrifices that they regularly bring to the altar. For us the sacrifices may be our regular church attendance, the Bible studies that we have joined or just the sacrifices that we perceive that we have offered up to him when we came to know Christ. However, just as we are getting smug about God's lack of complaint, he blasts us out of the water of our pride. He points out that because he owns the cattle on a thousand hills, he actually does not need their sacrifice. So what in the world does God want from us if not our sacrifices? We have "given up" our habit of gossiping, anger, lust, revenge, 10% of our income if we are tithing, partying with our friends...you name it. So why is he not pleased with that?
Look further to verses 14-15 and you will find that what God really wants is "our true thanks, our promised fulfilled and he wants us to trust him in times of trouble so that he can rescue us and we can give him glory."
First, he wants your true thanks. When I think of people that I like to be around, I usually leave the complainers off the list. There are some people that always complain and never stop to think about all that they have instead of all that they don't have. The best exercise that you can undertake is to exercise your gratitude. Right now just stop, take a deep breath and think about all that God has done for you in the past month. If you start thinking negatively, let me point out why. Satan will bombard you with thoughts like he did Eve in the garden. He whispered doubts about God. He hinted that God may not have her best interests in mind and that he was holding out the best when God commanded them to not eat the fruit. He is good at this...so good because you don't even realize that it is the voice of Satan and not the voice of your heavenly Father. Do not give an audience to this. Instead, back up and start over with that exercise. Name all the incredible things that God has done for you. That is the way God wants you to live...with true thanks, instead of a small miserable, twisted heart that thinks everyone else has a perfect life except you. Singles, do not for a second be listening to the LIAR when he says, "You can't trust him with a potential marriage partner. He is holding out on you. Things aren't working out by waiting on God so you need to manipulate the odds a little."
I want to share about the "keeping our promises" the next time I write. I feel compelled to tell you that I am praying for the readers of this blog. So whether you like it or not, your name is being mentioned to the "Ancient of Days." :):):)

The Can't Stands

2008-06-14T06:06:00.000-07:00

One of the comments on my blog said "these lists that we make for our future mates are pretty selfish in nature. We can get to the point where we really limit God on what He can offer us single folk. I know its a little hard to pull dating/courting/whatever views from scripture, but I don't really see any places where people who are fully submitted to the Father go and put conditions (i.e. lists)on things. Obviously there are some deal breakers -- or at least one -- like they must be going hard after Jesus. Other than that, I'm not so sure things matter. So long as they're surrendered to Him, things should certainly be able to work themselves out (assuming you are too)."
I gave that a lot of thought yesterday. I must admit that this book was not even published when I married Mark so I did not make a list before I met him. However, I know what my heart longed for and I had an understood "list" of the type of person I wanted to marry.
I had made a decision that the LORD was ALL I needed. I remember thinking that I wanted to marry someone who felt that way. So the top of my list would have been a guy that loved the LORD more than me. Reading through the list, I would have chosen to marry an emotionally healthy person, someone with strong character, what they valued would have been important, and I must admit I wanted to marry someone who wanted to have children.
One may argue that at long as they have the first thing on my list, the other things would have been there, as well. I would love to hear comments from singles on what you think. I feel strongly, that to take the opposite view and not give this incredible thought about the type of person you want to marry, would be foolish. You need to know yourself and what
is important to you. If looks or financial security are important to you, you will probably marry someone with those qualities. You will miss out on the very best if that is the top of your list!!!
"Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him." Psalms 25:12 God will give you wisdom to choose if you fear (honor) him.
Well, I am going to tell you the list of can't haves.

Lying
Cheating
Dominating
Financial Irresponsibility
Anger Issues
Pornography
Drinking or Drug use
Smoking
Gambling
Sexual Obsessiveness
Sloppiness
Laziness
Procrastination
Gossiping
Inappropriate Behaviour
Penny-Pinching
Foul Talker
Dependent on others
Arrogance
Extreme Shyness
Differing Musical Preferences
Spiritual Intolerance
Political Correctness
Reckless Driving
Fanatic(sports, politics, saving the environment, etc)

Decide what ten things would be the ones that you just could not tolerate for 50+ years of living with a person. Most of these I would not care about. However, there a few that I could not live with, no matter how much I think I love the person.

I spent some time in prayer this morning, asking God to help me to only speak truth...no Pat Cooper opinions, no secular wisdom, no popular statements...no one needs to hear that. Cliff-hanger...my next blog is going to reveal what God really wants from you.

Ten Must Haves!!!

2008-06-12T19:18:00.000-07:00

"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." Psalms 45:11
If you have ever heard me share about dating, you have heard me share this verse. I weep whenever I read it actually. It is a reminder to me that NO ONE will ever love me like the king of kings, Jesus Christ himself. No one will ever love you more than you are already loved by your Saviour. Leave me a message if you need to know more about that. None of this stuff matters more than your relationship with Christ.
That being said, I want to tell you about this next list. I will tell you the 25 most popular must-haves. Again, the credit belongs to Neil Clark Warren, who wrote Two Dates or Less.
You will have to choose only 10 of these to be the things YOU consider the must-haves in your mate. This is so exciting!!!
1. Emotionally healthy.
2. Strong character.
3. Same Energy level.
4. Intelligence.
5. Chemistry.
6. Financial Security.
7. Verbal Intimacy.
8. Conflict-Resolution Skills.
9. Personal Habits, like grooming, punctuality, dependability, orderliness and remembering important dates.
10. Spirituality. Not just are they a Christian, but are they on your level?
11. Shared Interests, Hobbies,etc.
12. Political and Social Views.
13. Interest in Parenting and Apparent Ability to do it Well.
14. Personality.
15. Values.
16. Skills(taking care of household, taking care of automobile, athletics, dancing, etc)
17. Ambition.
18. Age
19. Race.
20. Religious Affiliation(Jewish, Catholic, Baptist, etc).
21. Level of Education.
22. Sexual History(purity, for example).
23. Height and Body Style.
24. Facial Features(how attractive).
25. Clothes Style(dresses in-style or out of style, expensive clothes or not, etc.)

Here is the hard part...you can only pick ten! After you have picked only ten, put them in order of importance, most to least important. If you are sincere in picking your list, then everyone you date should meet most of those requirements. Do not change just because you feel like that person will change or because you may not met anyone better and you need to settle for this person. Tomorrow will be the list of "can't-stands." Is this fun or not? If you are not sure what one of these mean, leave me a message. Of course, I don't know how to reply to a message.:):):)

How to Get to Know Yourself

2008-06-11T20:42:00.000-07:00

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me." Psalms 139:1. Have you ever said, "I don't even know who I am?" There is a lot of truth to that statement. I don't think anyone really knows fully who they are. Thank goodness that God truly knows us, inside and out. So before you proceed any further, ask God to help you discover who you really are. You need his wisdom, not your own limited understanding.
There are many factors which make up who we are. I do not feel qualified to give anyone counsel. I'm sure that someone else's blog can help you with this.:):):) However, the book (remember Two Dates or Less?) lists some questions to ask yourself. I will put my favorites here.
1. Who is the most important person in your life and why?
2. What is your life's dream?
3. Who makes you angrier than anyone else and why?
4. Who makes you feel loved more than anyone and why?
5. When do you feel most afraid?
6. How important is money to you? Do you need a certain level of income to feel secure?
7. What is the role of God in your life?
8. How important is food in your life? Are you healthy in your approach to food? (only girls may understand the need for this question!)
9. Do you think of yourself as an emotionally healthy person?(this is where some people may not realize that they are emotionally unhealthy and need to get well before pursuing ANY relationship)
10. How do you approach conflict? Hide? Avoid? Confront?
I love these questions!!! Spend a long time thinking about how your answers to these questions. I think married couples, including myself, would benefit from self-analysis. This is not just for singles. When God reveals a painful area, we need to hear His voice on the subject and not listen to the voice of the Liar, Accuser, Satan himself. I am certainly not saying to wait until you are perfect until you marry. Mark would have never gotten married. Just kidding. NONE of us would have gotten married.
Tomorrow is my favorite part...10 must-haves and then Friday is 10 can't-stands. Or should I give you a day to examine yourself and then tell those? No way. You are dying to know, aren't you? Okay, Thursday it will be.

Two Dates or Less

2008-06-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

Another powerful verse...
Psalms 37:34 "Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land." I like the second part. I don't like the first part. Plain and simple. Waiting is my least favorite thing to do. In so many areas of my life, I would rather go ahead and do it myself, if I have to wait for someone else to do it.
However, God repeated this command more times than I can count in the Bible. He is constantly asking us to wait on Him and NOT go ahead and do it ourselves. The waiting is a sign that we trust him. I think it is like emailing a best friend vs a casual acquaintance. If I did not hear back immediately from a best friend, I would not panic. I trust that person. We have a relationship with each other. I would assume that my friend is giving careful thought to whatever I said before they respond.
You have probably guessed how this fits in with the title...Two Dates or Less. We justify, rationalize or just outright rebel against this request to wait on God to bring the right mate into our life. We don't trust that he is taking care of things in our timetable.
I picked up a great book last weekend called Two Dates or Less. I want to share with my college group some great advice on choosing the love of your life. I will start general and then add some specifics tomorrow...the cliff-hanger, remember?
1) You have to get to know yourself so well that you can precisely identify the kind of person you will need to marry.
2) You need to figure out the ten most important items on your must-have list and the ten most important items on your can't-stand list. I will tell you some choices to help out here.
3) You need to learn how to read people so you can determine if this person is the right choice for you.
One more thing, a bad mariage is a 1000 times worse than no marriage at all. Repeat that to yourself 20 times a day.

What I would like for my blog to be about

2008-06-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

I have a wonderful sister who lives in Tupelo, MS. She has the most adorable grandaughter named Marin. One time when Marin spend the night with her, Pam was trying to get her to stop talking and get some much needed sleep. Marin said,"But Nana, I have too many stories left in my mouth!"
I guess that is my problem. I have too many stories left in my mouth at the end of the day. I need a venue to express some of these thoughts. Those who know me well will tell you that I express myself even when not a soul cares about the topic. Blogging will be a way for only those who are interested in what I think about life to hear and I won't bore the vast majority of others who don't!
Most of the thoughts will have something related to the LORD. The ones that don't are not worth reading, believe me.
Today I want to share one of my favorite verses, Psalms 27:4. "The one thing I want from God, the thing I seek most of all, is the priviledge of meditating in his Temple, living in his presence everyday of my life, delighting in his imcomparable perfections and glory!"
My earnest prayer for this blog is that I reflect this in what I say.
I want a cliff-hanger so that you will want to check in tomorrow. I bought a book in Houston this weekend called ,"Two Dates or Less." My favorite topic is marriage advice so I am going to tell secrets to my college kids that I have the priviledge to work with at church. How fun is that!

A new blog!

2008-06-07T07:30:00.000-07:00

My daughter-in-law Lynn helped me set up a blog today! I think I will enjoy writing my thoughts and giving you a piece of my mind :). Enjoy!